My H called today to let me know that the OW will not be leaving their apt. until tomorrow morning. He wouldn't be able to pick up the kids until after she leaves. (Ow is not allowed to be there when my kids are visiting)<P>Well, I have had no contact with him for about a week. I broke down today and asked him what he wanted as far as us. His replies were very confusing. I was hoping maybe ya'll (betrayers & bertrayed)could shed some light on this for me. <P>One minute he acts like he wants the divorce and the next minute blames me for the divorce. He says that he really wanted to reconcile but feels I am playing games with him. Of course, I haven't even talked to him so how can I play games?<P>He says that the slimeball is moving back to her state! Not soon enough for me!!! Anyway,he continues to deny the affair and says that he doesn't care whether I believe him or not. He says he has nothing to prove to me and shouldn't have to. <P>Now, am I being selfish here thinking that he should have just a little remorse for what he has done to our family. Or is this just a typical response by a betrayer? I am willing to do my part because the marriage was not perfect before he left, but I can't do it all myself. <P>While we were talking the slimeball called him on the cellphone. I could him talking and telling her that he had to go. When she didn't let him go immediately He said "Look! I have to go! I asked him who called and he replied Mary. Then said "Not that it is any of you business." <P>Am I crazy to think that he could just be really confused or is he just trying to twist the knife a little deeper. I have to see him in the morning when he picks up the kids. Any advice on what to say or do would be greatly appreciated.

Perhaps, once the OW is gone he may be able to start making some concrete decisions. The fact that he is so confused tells me he is still very much involved in the affair.<P>All you can do is wait(if you want your man) and let him go through all the withdrawal and depression that is going to happen. Be there if he needs to talk. Be a friend. That is probably how your relationship began in the first place.<P>The first time I betrayed, I felt immediate remorse. The second time(same man) i felt none. I sometimes still don't. So i have to wonder, is this the first affair? Or is he just in denial period. Either way actions say he is having an affair whether he admits it or not.<P>Are you already divorced? Try keeping things at a non personal level for a while. Just friends. Give him time to heal and make good decisions. <P>I am not sure if this will help, but I know if I could have some time away to clear my head and decide what it is I really want, I would be a better person for it.<P>good luck.