I married my H when I was 18(2 mos.shy of 19)He was 20.We have been married for 14 yrs.&have 2beautiful girls.After 5 yrs.of marriage,I had an affair with a man that I worked with.(biggest mistake of my life)He said he could forgive me & I thought that we had moved past it.Apparently,I was wrong because 9 yrs.later,he decided that HE was the hottest man on earth!(sadly enough he came to this conclusion while I was 4 mos.preg.)During the next 6 mos.,he had sex with 2 girls & went on "dates"with 3 others.I would think things were getting back on track & then he would meet someone.Anyways,he has not gone on any "dates"or anything else for the last 3mos.He still goes out with his friend Sam,who is not married & has no children.(he's engaged)My H & I have been going out together by ourselves at least once a wk.(Even if it is just to get a cup of coffee)I feel very insecure because he continues to point out "gorgeous "girls to me & thinks it is funny Of course these are girls who are 10-14yrs.younger than I am& have never had children.I admit he looks like he's only 24 & is in better physical shape than he ever has been.I lost every lb.I gained during pregnancy before I came home from hosp.I am working out 3x/wk.I wish I could get my old H back!The one who was so thoughtful & considerate of my feelings.He is convinced that women really like "bad guys",& I told him that was not true for me.He said I made him this way!Did I really turn my H into this self-centered , egotistical,thoughtless person?Am I fighting a losing battle?I don't want to break our daughters hearts by making their daddy move out.(our girls are 8yrs.old& 5mos.old)I really pray that there is a way to recreate the love we once shared.Any advice would be greatly appreciated.By the way,I am reading "how to survive an affair"right now.My heart feels like it has been ripped out & spit on numerous times!Thanks for listening.

I too live in a similar boat. We got married too young as far as I am concerned. We change so much from the ages of 18 to 25. We feel old before our time and any attention from the opposite sex is welcome. <P>I don't have time topost more, but I do want to say more. I hope it willhelp.

Welcome <B>lookn4answrs</B>...<P>I'm sorry I missed your post this weekend...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P>For some clarity... a while ago... the "main" forum was divided into 4 separate "sub" forums...<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Just+found+out...&number=29&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Just found out...</A>...for those new the forum... pre/post "discovery" of an affair or possible affair.<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=Plan+A/Plan+B&number=30&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Plan A/Plan B</A>...usually after "discovery of the affair"...for those with questions of "what to do now?"<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=In+recovery&number=31&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>In recovery</A>...when a commitment to work on marriage by both spouses has begun.<BR>We are being asked to post the forums that make the most sense with respect to our questions/vents and not just dump everything into the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/cgiwrap/marriage/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=General+Questions&number=28&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>General Questions</A> forum because it will give you the most responses! <P>You are not alone...<P>Do read... and when necessary re-read the book...<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A>.<P>If his affair is really over... (I can't tell from this post)... another very good book to consider is <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6010_give.html" TARGET=_blank>"Give & Take: The Secret to Marital Compatibility"</A> also by Dr. Willard Harley. I re-read this because of a post someone put up... and for those in the beginnings of recovery it is excellent! Especially the "better" coverage of the hows and whys of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>!<P>I'd still suggest counseling (mentioned on your other post).<P>Prayers to you... <P>Jim

My H thinks looking at other woman,and making light of his internet is funny too.When I asked him to be honest with from now on he uses sarcasm.I am reading Surviving a Divorce also,and trying to recreate romantic love too.I will pray for you.Bethn <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by lookn4answrs:<BR><B>I married my H when I was 18(2 mos.shy of 19)He was 20.We have been married for 14 yrs.&have 2beautiful girls.After 5 yrs.of marriage,I had an affair with a man that I worked with.(biggest mistake of my life)He said he could forgive me & I thought that we had moved past it.Apparently,I was wrong because 9 yrs.later,he decided that HE was the hottest man on earth!(sadly enough he came to this conclusion while I was 4 mos.preg.)During the next 6 mos.,he had sex with 2 girls & went on "dates"with 3 others.I would think things were getting back on track & then he would meet someone.Anyways,he has not gone on any "dates"or anything else for the last 3mos.He still goes out with his friend Sam,who is not married & has no children.(he's engaged)My H & I have been going out together by ourselves at least once a wk.(Even if it is just to get a cup of coffee)I feel very insecure because he continues to point out "gorgeous "girls to me & thinks it is funny Of course these are girls who are 10-14yrs.younger than I am& have never had children.I admit he looks like he's only 24 & is in better physical shape than he ever has been.I lost every lb.I gained during pregnancy before I came home from hosp.I am working out 3x/wk.I wish I could get my old H back!The one who was so thoughtful & considerate of my feelings.He is convinced that women really like "bad guys",& I told him that was not true for me.He said I made him this way!Did I really turn my H into this self-centered , egotistical,thoughtless person?Am I fighting a losing battle?I don't want to break our daughters hearts by making their daddy move out.(our girls are 8yrs.old& 5mos.old)I really pray that there is a way to recreate the love we once shared.Any advice would be greatly appreciated.By the way,I am reading "how to survive an affair"right now.My heart feels like it has been ripped out & spit on numerous times!Thanks for listening.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><P>------------------<BR>