My H says that I read too much into things.We were talking about him wanting to change jobs because he feels like he doesn't have enough time to have "fun".My reply to this was,"I've always felt like being married to you & raising our 2 daughters is fun!"My concerns are warranted because he was acting like a single adolescent when he decided to cheat on me in the 1st place!(Messing around with girls 10-16 yrs.younger than he is) It is hard for me to trust him.I don't understand why he thinks that just because he has behaved himself for the last 3 months,I am suppose to trust him completely now?He still makes comments about other women to me.He teases me that he is going to this stupid country dance bar,which is where he hung out while cheating on me. I don't know!Maybe because we got married so young,this has happened?All I know is this stinks & I miss my true best friend! <p>[This message has been edited by lookn4answrs (edited March 19, 2000).]

lookn4answrs,<P>Are you two in counseling?...<BR>Your H is not understanding the concept of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A>!<P>I just found your other post... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/001684.html" TARGET=_blank>Where do I go from here? </A> and will read it!<P> <P>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited March 20, 2000).]

Why not get into the country dancing like your husband.. go to the bar with him, and look good when you go.. allow the men there to notice you!! (and beleive me they all will, new face, new person to flirt with!) of course I`m not saying to flirt back!!! Find your self a sitter, and get out with him..! thats what life is all about, any way.. to keep the fire burning, together.. I am a firm beleiver that just because you have kids, doesn`t mean you have to give up your life, or living, that you both use to have, while courting... it is a must to go out and have fun.. and he obviously wants that.. so say.. ok.. lets do it!!! together..<P>If he says no.. I want to go it alone.. then just go alone as well.. show up and say it is a free country bar, that any one can join.. so here I am.. do not allow him to dictate where and when you can go out and live it up, if not with him...!! let him see you are not going to sit home and be a patsy!!! (no offence.. !) <P>These people who leave need to see us make a stand for our selves.. and we are not going to put up with thier crap!! thats the whole thing in a nut shell.. but we need to do it with styale and class.. not fight them.. agree with them.. say yes you want to go, then go, but so am I.. and do what you want to do, that brings you pleasure.. they like woman/men who are strong and independent.. this is a real true must.. looking pathetic and insecure is not a pretty picture!! <P>I lost my ex already, by doing this self destruction thing, already.. I am telling you this, to help you, not to put you down.. I do not mean to offend any one, I am way beyond what you are going through.. but have learned the hard way, and lost... don`t allow them to bully you in any way.. make any stand you can, but not with nager.. with joy and pride.. let them see a different but yet same you.. some one who has stamina.. some one that is acting!!! stronger then they could ever imagine.. let them see you for who you were/are and that would quite obviously be better then these OW/OM.. <P>AV