Ya know if the TV really wants soap operas to really get out of control and have every one watching the writers should come to this BB for their ideas, I mean crap what better of a drama than this real life crap we are dealing with.<P><BR>Ok … well I don't think we are getting a divorce in the legal sense anyhow even though we bot admit we truly don't know the other one much at all anymore, I think the whole friends thing might work if I can keep my romantic love feelings out of this.<P><BR>As you know the first visit was a big bomb then Thursday came and we took our son to his family night at the school, came back and had a short but good talk. Well…Friday he didn't come over at all he said he had a lot of things he had to do (made it sound like he was going to be helping his dad) well I didn't like it that the kids were not going to see him but I let it go…Saturday came and we drove to one of our old favorite places to go. It was great the kids and him and me went down to the river and tossed rocks into it, it started raining and we all ran back to the car laughing and carrying on. We came back to my house and put the kids down for a nap. Then he said if we were going to watch a movie he needed to take a nap, he laid on my bed and I scratched his back and chest to help him sleep, while he was asleep he reached out and held me, it was nice but I know it was just one of those while you were sleeping things like when he was holding me I whispered I love you and he mumbled it back...well any way we got up and he wanted to grill out so we went to town and got the stuff he wanted and came back and fixed dinner. We watched a movie with the kids and while it was on it started raining so he left early to get his moms car back to her, because if the river comes up you cant get out of here. And that brings us to yesterday… he came to get us about 10 and we drove around and ended up at his dads place and we watched the race, then went to his uncles to visit we'll no one told us it was going to be a smith family get together and Earl knows I can't handle big crowds of people (I have social anxiety disorder) so we came back here. And watched another movie with the kids and then we watched our movie, I made us popcorn and he seemed to enjoy it all, we he gets ready to leave and says I'll se you and the kids tomorrow. I say ok and to drive careful, he ask me to call him if I have not heard or seen him by 10 this morning. <P><BR>Ok here's where I get angry and confused. He calls at 9:50 and says his dad told him his mom feels like he is neglecting her so he is not coming over so he can spent the day with her. First off that really ticks me off that his family dose this every time he comes to visit he gets the "well you didn't come see me" and crap like that and we always got it before. But good grief you would think that those people would have sense enough in their damn selfish heads that maybe his kids should be the only thing he wants to see and don't need a guilt trip about "you are not spending enough time with me" crap from his mommy. Well I say "fine I know you wont spend all day with her will you?" he said no but I'm still not coming over. Ok now the confusion of it all is here. I said but you told the kids you would see them today, and he gets all huffy and says well you'll just have to tell them I'll be there tomorrow. Ok he is yelling by now just because I ask why. Then it comes out…"I need space from you, I don't want to spend every waking moment with you." <P>Yes it did hurt to hear that but I thanked him for finally being honest with me, and we had just promised each other Saturday that we would both be completely honest, that since my keeping the A from him for a year was what hurt him most, and his lies recently were what was hurting me and making both of us not trust the outer as far as we could toss them, that's was what would keep us from being friends if any thing would. And he goes and dose it the day after we agree not to again. Then he says I just didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to hurt your feelings, so I told him not to bring up pain for you or me but that was what I was doing six years ago in not telling you. Sooo, now he says he will be honest even if I don't want to hear it of it will hurt me. I told him that is all I ask for and I can get over hurt but even if we are going to be just friends we need to be honest. And we both agree being together is not best right now since he is still so hostile about everything and if we can be friends who knows what the future may bring.<P>Well that's it for now we are going to spend all day tomorrow together and have dinner he even promised no more breaks from me since he leaves Friday.<P><BR>Lesa<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It took me quite a while to realize that <B>the real deal</B> is to be able to be enough of a person your own to know when somebody loves you and cares about you"<BR>----Stevie Ray Vaughan<P>"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and<BR> lean not unto thine own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5<BR>Take care and God Bless.<P> lms20ish@jobe.net

Lesa<P>I have to get back to work now, but I just wanted to let you know that I read this and I'll chat with you tonight. sounds like you guys have made some progress. Gosh, I wish I could talk more but you know how that goes, let me go save the world, lol Just kidding!!<P>Praying for you as always!!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Oh Lesa,<P>It is so hard! I am thinking of you big time! I have been wondering how it has been going for you! <P>You know what I did? I started an online soap opera of my story. I titled it "The Life of a Betrayed Wife". I am doing it all anonymously so as to not offend anyone! Anyway, it is very therapuetic for me. Anyway, I type a journal entry in there everday about what is going on.<P>I sure hope the rest of your week goes ok. I realize that it has to be super hard! I am praying for you! Heck, I think we ought to start a thread for people who need prayers. Then if you want somebody to say a prayer for you, just sign up! Then we can go down through the thread and pray as we go! <P>Just know I am thinking of you! Here are some hugs for you also! <BR>(((((((((LESA))))))))))<P>Take care and stay strong!<P>Woozy

Lesa,<P>It doesn't sound bad at all. You got honesty and you are getting to spend a good bit of time with him. Remember, no expectations. But it sounds like he's enjoying being with you too. I'll try to chat with you tonight!<P>Love ya,<BR>Mitzi

It sounds like you two are starting to get along pretty well.<P>Be careful, I think you started putting on some pressure when he told you he was going to spend the day with his mother.<P>Yep, they're putting on the pressure for him to spend time with them. I can understand his mother wanting him to give her some attention. <P>My kids will come in from out of state and I never see them. They come here, sleep, then up and gone with friends till late night. <P>The next day repete the same thing. Makes me feel like they are just using my home as a free motel. <P>I put the pressure on them when they do that. So I know how his mom feels. <P>Let her be the one to LB.... you be the one to let him relax and no pressure. It will make him want to be with you more. <P>Best of Luck.<P>I'll try to get on the chat tonight<P>Keo