I've been trying to do some research on the web concerning finding the most appropriate counselor close to home. <BR>I've found like a gazilian counselors/psych's in my area, but nothing that really tells me what their credentials are, track records, principles, etc. I've done searches to no avail. <P>Calling each individual practice and asking them a bunch of questions would take days! Does anybody out there have a better idea on how to find the right counselor?<BR>

Hi - I'm not sure that this is the answer that you "want" to hear...... other than making the calls and asking the questions, you have only referrals of others to go by.<P>Just yesterday, I asked Steve Harley (on behalf of a friend) why his dad is so reluctant to recommend counselling on his radio show - his main reason is that there are many more harmful than good ones "out there" and they don't want to steer people into the wrong hands. If you do seek counselling, find one who is familiar and PRACTICES the MB approach. Design a "pop quiz" if you like to ensure that they really do understand the basic concepts et al.<P>Also, if you are looking for info on sexual addiction as I noticed in your last thread, I may be able to help point you in the direction of some good info. I'm reluctant to do this here for many reasons. Please feel free to e-mail me at L_I_S_A_M@yahoo.com<P>Cheers and best wishes,<BR>Lisa

Any other suggestions?...<P>Hey... any brain-stormers?

Hey,toots,<BR> Referrals may be your best bet.I don't know your story,but when infidelity is involved,MAKE SURE the counselor you choose understands the symptoms,actions,and ramifications of an affair.The one I took my W to during her affair didn't know diddily about what was really going on.He just wanted to know why we got married in the first place 22 years ago,and questioned our relationship together.He never even talked to my W about her affair or the OM.He suggested a trial separation to give her"breathing room",and that just drove her right into the arms of the OM.IF an affair is still ongoing,try to avoid discussing all the little nit-picky problems in the marriage,and get right to the matter at hand-the affair.If you don't like the direction the counselor's going,get another one-don't worry about the cost if you want to save your marriage.Hope this helps a little.<BR>--Murph

Murphy:<BR>Thanks for your reply. I have already seen a marriage counselor that was recommended to me. I liked him, but I'm not entirely convinced that he can help my H. I'm also not entirely convinced that my H should see a "marriage" counselor, as opposed to a regular counselor. Even though he has seen other women from the internet, I think these one night stands/affairs are a by-product of other underlying issues (problems of religion, alcohol, health). I don't think these one night stands are just a sex issue either - we have always had a pretty good sex life, and actually have been having the best sex of our lives these past 3 weeks. Then again, maybe it is because he hasn't seen anybody in 3 weeks, although he has exchanged a couple e-mails. I don't know!<P>But back to the matter at hand of finding a good counselor. There has got to be something out there that "rates" these doctors! You can dig up stuff on medical doctors, why not psych's?<BR>

Hi toots - will send you info early tomorrow a.m. - be prepared for some reading! <P>You may be right, marriage counselling may not be the best resource for your husband right now - but it may be helpful in combination with other things for both of you. I believe that there is a body that regulates counsellors but this does not in and of itself guarantee that you will find someone who practices the concepts that are most beneficial. Tread cautiously!!!!!!<P>Cheers,<BR>Lisa