Hi friends on the forum,<P>Wow, I have not been on all week, and I am amazed at all the new names up on the site. I am very sad to see so many people I don't recognize, and plan to go in and check out their stories as soon as I can. Where is roller coaster, mitzi, teddy bear, bill, brent,jersey joe,jim and peggy? Where are all the people I know ?? I feel like I am lost here today.<P>Well, to those of you who don't know me, thanks for stopping in to see my story. A brief overview , my H left me on xmas day, along with our 3 daughters. A week later, he was living with OW. I never quite found out how long he had been cheating on me, but it had to be a few months at least. We battled over visitation. He bounced back and forth on coming home, then he served me with divorce papers dated for Valentine's Day. All in all, its been a he!! of a 3 months. I can't believe that in 2 days, he'll have been gone for 3 months.<P>We are moving along with the divorce. H says he can't wait til its over. He complains, of having no money and that he has to miss work. He once told me a few weeks ago, he almost left the OW. HE can't stand her 5 year old son. I don't know what he expected from me, when he told me that, but I didn't offer him any favors.<P>I have been dating here and there. There is someone who caught my eye, but yet, I also am not anywhere near looking to settle down with one person. If there is a commitment, then I can be cheated on again, so no commitment = no betrayal in my eyes. I am going out with my best friend, and having fun. <P>My girls love the OW. She kisses them and favors the same one as my H. SHe also loves my baby. I know she is not so happy with my oldest daughter cause she looks like me. H can't deal with it right now either. My poor girls. They don't deserve to be used by OW. She is just trying to get to H's heart through my girls. I hate it, and I hate her. All I can say is yes, she treats them good as far as they know. When they are older, I will explain this all to them. <P>Have been very confused these days. I get so incredibly jealous, not that the weather is nice, I see all the married couples, and I feel left out. On the other hand, I don't miss being a slave like I was. I have freedom and not many cares these days, except H ditched me with ALL the bills.<P>I have court on Tuesday, and will update you all on the marriage preliminary conference. No clue what this is about, but I did get screwed a little already on child support, so what else will I get nailed with here?<P>Thanks to all of you who have been sending me personal email as well. Sorry to my old friends, and the newbies that are on now, that I have been unable to offer you my sympathetic ear and compassion like before. I am so confused, I just don't know what I am doing these days. <P>Prayers are with you all, Dana<BR><p>[This message has been edited by lonelymom (edited March 23, 2000).]

Dana,<P>I'm still here! I lurk a lot and post replies when I feel like I have something to offer. I don't post a lot about myself anymore since I'm headed to divorce! <P>I dodn't talk to my H anymore. H got too verbally abusive and I refuse to put up with it. He talks to the boys on the phone about every other Sunday but hasn't seen them in almost 6 weeks. It bothers them but they are doing better. <P>I have my first hearing April 14th to decide temporary support and other things. Hopefully I don't get screwed on mine. My luck he'll quit his job or ask for a lay-off before the hearing. He hasn't been served with the papers yet but should be tomorrow, if they can find him. <P>I'm content with my life right now. I like not having to walk on eggshells around here anymore. I think about him sometimes but not much anymore.<P>Be careful when dating. You are probably very vulnerable right now. Just take your time and find out who you are first. <P>Take care,<BR>Mitzi

Hi Dana!<P>I was just wondering about you today, too. Sorry to hear that you're down. Hang in there. You'll get through it.<P>Just wanted to let you know we're all here for you. <P>--Dana<BR>

Hi Dana!<P>I am posting here... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/000604.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum8/HTML/000604.html</A> <P>I'm in the same boat you are. All the couples make me miss that life. Oh well, let's have fun being single. <P>I'm going out Friday with a group of people and plan to have a good time!<P>I'm so glad you posted. I have missed you!!!!<P>TB<P>

Hi!!!<P>I've missed you. Good to see you back.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Hi ladies! Thanks for the welcome! Now all I need to do is find Woozy around here, last I saw she has been eating cheesecake and lasagna!! <P>Yes, I am being careful dating. I keep my heart to myself, but hey what's wrong with a free dinner and a movie once in a while!! I am starting to learn a little more about men than I did before and can pick out some of the losers a little quicker! LOL<P>I think my H is having some doubts, but I can't ever go back to him. I have suffered too much on this. I have lost myself and I won't give anything else to him, ever again. <P>Yes, the OP I was seeing is still around. I started to have feelings for him just a bit, and so I backed off until my divorce and to give myself my space. It is hard, but you know what, we still see each other and I know he cares about me. Who knows what may happen down the road.<P>Teddy Bear , you never let me know how it went the last time you went out!! (wasn't I your inspiration!)<P>Keridwen, how are you, I haven't seen you in a while either.<P>Mitzi I am glad you are doing much better. It must be a relief to not walk on eggshells. Do you think he will ever do to his OW what he did to you? I know its wrong of me to say, but I wouldn't feel too awful for her on that one.<P>And last but not least to the other "Dana" around here Have you ever been anywhere and had the same name? Not me! How are you doing as well?? I signed on today and don't recognize anyone here. It is so sad. I am not abandoning the forum, even though I gave up on my marraige, I just have felt a little blue lately. Now I have to go meet some new people on the forum and see what's going on.<P>I will keep you updated ladies, and don't forget to email me personally any time. <P>Dana <P>

Hey Dana,<P>just wanted to say Hi.<P>I'm sorry about what's happening to you - sometimes I could just spit nails!!!!!!<P>Have a great time Friday night. I'm going to a movie and dinner too - with my sister!!!<P>Not quite the same, can't expect any sort of good night kiss there can I?!!!! tee hee<P>I'm glad you seem to have found some inner peace, a little at least. It makes all the difference doesn't it.<P>I think mine, inner peace that is, is just about to be interrupted. I just posted a new topic - 'He's moving here.....'<P>Help, oh bloody help !!!!!!!<P>anyway, take care of you, and a big hug for you<P>Jo

Jo,<P>I just read your post, I was going to reply to it, but knew you replied to mine.<P>I am SOOOOO Sorry to hear of this. I am curious, which way are you leaning, do you want to stay in Plan B? Do you want the marriage still? WHen you say he is moving here, you just mean where you live, not in your house, right?<P>Try not to worry over what you have no control over . We are all here for you and you'll get thru it. <P>HUGS to you, Dana<BR>

Dana,<P>Glad you are back and surviving. I'm doing remarkably well. We hammered out the settlement agreement I got everything I wanted which wasn't much. I feel really good about the future, even with my pending divorce...6 more months...<P>robin is haveing flashes of reality...too bad it's too frikken late...She will have to do an [censored]-load of work to get me to try at this point, I just don't see her as being willing...So I am getting on...<P>I'm glad that the OW at least likes your kids, it is so tragic for them...I told R that D is not to ever be around LRB because he is a minor and a drug dealer and user...So far she doesn't want D around him either...I have met someone I like but nothing has developed accept friendship...I don't know how long to wait to introduce D to a new woman this is a very gray arewa for me...I'll worry about that when the time comes.<P>That's my life in a nut shell<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Dana,<P>Sounds like you are doing alot better now. Keep up the good work on yourself.<P>Bill,<P>I read someplace to take it slow on introducing you kids to a new relationship. For onw they may be resentful and give you problems, although your d is probably too young yet. They also said the first relationship should be a "throw away" for the same reason. Also you don't want the child to start having a relationship with the new person and then something happens and you stop seeing each other and then the child has to handle that breakup too.<P>Sorry to horn in on you post Dana, but I wanted to give Bill that info.<P>God Bless,<P>Bob

Hey lonleymom,<P>I'm still here........ Mostly on the weekends since I don't usually have time to <B>vent</B> otherwise. I don't know what is going on in my life these days. (heavy sigh)<BR>Just waiting on my H - why am I waiting? - I don't know. Too hard to give up on the most important relationship of my life, I guess. <P>I'm certainly happy for you that you seem to be enjoying life again. Good for you!

You ARE my inspiration girl!<P> <P>My night out only consisted of me going to one of my girlfriend's houses, drinking wine, and gossiping. Everybody else copped out at the last minute. Nothing exciting.<P>But...<BR>Tonight is a different story! A group of us are going out and I am SO excited. My roommate from college is even coming up to stay with me. Should be interesting.<P>Cute e-mail by the way! <P>TB<P>P.S. Hope you are going to have some fun this weekend!

Teddy Bear,<P>I am having a night in. I have been enjoying myself FAR TOO MUCH and giving myself a little break. It sounds ridiculous but I don't know who I am , what I want or where I am going. SO tonite, its R & R for me. Glad you liked my email! <P>You have some fun tonite and report back to me with some good news! I need it today.<P>Had an emotional day. Job interview, sad song after and burst into tears.Feeling hurt that H could put so much burden on me and the girls, while he enjoys his stinking life with OW. HE feels NO guilt I am sure of it. <P>Bill , glad to hear your so positive about things, its wonderful!! To the rest of my friends, appologies for no personal response, I had such an emotional day today. First time I cried in a few weeks. H doesn't even know how bad this still hurts me. He makes comments like well I am different then you, things don't get to me like that. Well, THINGS get to me. And I told him so too. It feels good to let him have it once in a while, although, then he treats me like I am still his sweetie for a few days, but weekends here, so OW will work on him good and he'll be SCROOGE on Monday.<P>Oh well, court is Tuesday, wish me luck, and I'll post an update. Hugs and Prayers, Dana<BR>