Just about a month ago I called and asked my x if she thought it was a good idea to let our 12 yo daughter see R rated movies and videos. She agreed that it wasn't and said she would not let her seem them.<P>Then just this week, I call and ask her the same thing in regards to our 9 yo son and R rated videos. She makes a bunch of weak arguements but agrees that he should not be seeing them.<P>The kids spend the night with her last night. Well my daughter kind of did. D wanted to watch me play BBall last nite so she went out to dinner with her mother, brother and om and then came back. X said she had errands to run and would have to bring her right back. I said no problem and I would drop her at x's apartment after my game.<P>So after the game, I took d up there and x wasn't home. So I ended up taking d'd friend home and when I got back x was back at her apartment, so I left d off. This was a minor aggrevation. <P><BR>So this morning, x drops kids off here for school, gives me a smug look and leaves. As I'm talking to my son, he tells me that he stayed in the car while x and om went into the mall and even fell asleep.<P>I stewed about this all day and decided to call x at work and confront her about it. She got all defensive about it and said nothing happened and that he was always in sight.<P>How can someone be in sight from an enclosed mall ??? This is not one of the safer malls around either. SHe also said om checked on him. Jeez, THAT makes me feel better!<P>I told her I was thinking about calling child protective services and she dared me to. I told her if she doesn't want to see the kids, then don't feel obligated too.<P>She then brought up the old, if I didn't want so much in child support, then she wouldn't have to work so much. I told her that the kids are not even getting what they are entitled too as she is made $4000 more than the figure the support was calculated on.<P>She said then she would drop her hours and seek alimony. I told her she wouldn't be eligible, at least thats what my lawyer told me before.<P><BR>I just don't understand this woman at all. She had Tues and Wed off and half of today and she couldn't so her errands then!!<P>Also she couldn't herself just take the kids out to dinner, om had to go too. Especially when she hasn't seen them since last Thurs and she is leaving either Fri or Sat on another vacation and won't see the kids for a week.<P>I think I will call child protective services to see what they have to say.<P>I do feel better since I yelled at her and also got to hangup on her when she was trying to give me advice on raising the kids!!

RWD,<P>Yes, call Child Protective Services, not for vengence, but to protect your son. Leaving a child in a car outside of a mall is a horrible thing to do. Any decent parent would not even think of doing this.<P>LOL..I cannot believe she was trying to give you child rearing advice. Sounds like you should be teaching her a thing or two.<P>Good luck to you, and keep those babies safe.<P>-allison

Isn't it sad that they get so involved with another person that they cannot think clearly and do things for their children and not themselves.<P>In my state of MO, a mother left her son in a running van just to go get a soda at a gas station. The van was in site the whole time and it was car jacked. The son tried to get out of the van and was stuck in the seat belt and draged to his death. This happened in the Kansas City area. I am so glad that nothing happened to your son.<P>Hang in there and protect your kids. <P>It really s*cks that she is with the O/M too on her visitations.<P>YOu are a great father, a great person. You have a right to be mad.<P>Hang in there you are doing Great.<P>

Hey Bob,<P>Just goes to show you that the problems don't stop when the divorce is final. I always say that a W may be temporary [hopefully not], but, an XW is forever.<P>I most recently found out that my oldest boy started smoking late last year. He is 18 and can legally buy the smokes. The X also found out and screamed at me because it's my fault. Huh? OK, I smoke and didn't smell it on him. We have been D for 13 years. I guess that I'm a bad influence.<P>It seems that your X is still caught up in the fantasy. Is the OM Superman that he can see thru walls at the Mall? That would be hard to compete with. Val's BF is a construction guy, not that there is anything wrong with that, the construction thing. Hey, I have a hammer and know how to use it! I can smash his head into the... oops off the subject.<P>I was a betrayer 14 years ago and remember quite vividly the insanity that the "high" brings. Thank God, it was short lived. I will NEVER do that again. I still to this day can't believe that I did it.<P>Wishing you and yours the Best, Bob.<P>Tim

Tim,<BR>Yea, om is super everything! X is now blaming me for D getting the porno email, as I wasn't watching close enough. <P>I also got rid of the flowered bedspread and curtains from the bedroom. I got some nice MANLY geometric pattern. However, I haven't got around to painting, so the bedroom is still pink. Sorry guys!<P>I did call child protective services today to see what they had to say. I didn't give them my name or her name. They didn't think it was very responsible either but didn't flat out call it endangerment. They said I should call if anything like that happens again.<P>I called x and told her that I had called and she went off the deep end. She kept calling me and I kept hanging up. She then left two message on my work answering machine, the first full of anger and threats to call CPS on me and the second crying saying if anything happens to her on this trip to tell the kids she loves them and leave them with a good memory of her. <P>She called back later all pissed off, because she called CPS on me but wouldn't leave my name or number so she felt that I hadn't called. But I did, i just was looking for info to make sure I wasn't running around half cocked. <P>

I can't believe after what happened to that 6 year old boy being dragged to his death that ANYONE would leave thier child in the car alone unattended. I don't care if the car was locked or safe neighborhood or anything! Look at the boy Adam (father doesn America's Most Wanted). He was left unattended in a SAFE mall and now he is dead. That was purely STUPID on your x's part. She is trying to manipulate you with guilt with the "tell the kids I love them". If she calls again, just calmly let her know that the next time ANYTHING like this happens again, that it WILL be her last!

Hi RWD -<P>Good to see you're here and posting still. I haven't been around too much and haven't kept up, so I probably missed a lot!!!<P>She's still in Birdbrain mode, eh? Guess it doesn't have anything to do with "the marriage" at all.....wonder if they realize this at some point? It seems that divorcing will eliminate so much of their "stress, problems, unhappiness, etc." but I guess that is not true! What is their "excuse" now?<P>So interesting, isn't it?<P>Anyway, I think that you should let your lawyer know of this incident. It should be documented in case it is needed in the future. This is dangerous stuff!!<P>I am glad that she doesn't take them more often if this is how she takes care of them.....aren't you? Good Lord, she just can't do anything but shop anyway!!<BR>They must get bored silly, once the initial glee of getting something new (if they do!) gets old.<P>You're doing a great job, RWD!!! Those kids are going to be fine with you watching out for them.....don't worry about her taking them more. You really don't want her to with her head like this!!!<P>Now get that bedroom painted - EEKS, even I couldn't handle pink!!!! Guess cuz parents made my room that color growing up!!!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Hi Sheba,<P>Good to hear from you again. Yea, she is still in Birdbrain mode. I thought reality would set in once we were divorced, but I was wrong. I guess after they get settled into their love nest, and life becomes a little more hum drum then maybe reality will set in. I guess since he is still married, at least as far as I know, the illict "love" must still play a major part in her/his mindset.<P>How are things in your crazy world?

Hi RWD -<P>Being a night owl like me, huh?<P>Things are as crazy as ever in my Whack-A-Doodle World!!! LOL!!!<P>Actually, H has been pretty calm, lately....nothing interesting to report on the subject. <P>I've been concentrating more on the income producing end of things for myself......I'll get there someday!!!<P>What do you think of my suggestion of telling the lawyer about your son's incident? I really think you should.<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba