I got that horrible call today. The custody evaluators office called to let me know that the Dr. is done with her report and that they need me to call to let them know if I want to pick it up or have them mail it.<P>I don't want either. I don't want to see it. I already know it is bad. Is that why my stbx is being nice....he already has it?<P>But anyway...I don't want it...I don't want to lose my children. Now it will be a matter of days before his attorney files something in court to have me removed from the house and take the girls away.<P>I am freaking out.....<P>Nancy

Nancy,<P>Are sure that is what it is going to say? Or are you guessing and afraid?<P>What did you tell them to do with the report?<P>You need tot ake a big breath and say a very big prayer that God gives you the strength to deal with this no matter what happens and you will be alright.<P>A big hug<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NANCY}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>And prayers for you.<P>Let me know what happens. We care for you.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Nancy,<P>I just read your profile.. and it is amazing.. your story is the spiting image of mine!!1 we are practically twins!!!!! or is it that the ex`s are the twins!!! LOL!! <P>I know one thing.. they would have to prove you ti be some horrible mom to take your kids.. he has to take care of you and the kids, until you can get your feet on the ground, (at least 3 yrs worth) as far as my situation goes.. so if it is a matter of money.. not to worry.. if it is a matter of state of mind.. still not to worry.. this is a tough one to crack for the judges.. and most often the kids go with the mom!!!!! <P>I wouldn`t fret about it.. this wilol just cause the stupid court problems all us tax payers.. pay for.. and waist alot of precious time.. thats all... you wait and mark my words... this may take time, but it will all boil over.. and he will be the looser, (as he is already, my freind!) we are the better half.. and don`t forget that.. <P>I hope I releived some stress for you.. ) I know the feeling oh so well.. this is just another one of those bumps in the rocky road to recovery.. stay strong.. and face him walking tall, and hold your head up high, and smile.. never let him see it gets to you.. never.. <P>take care.. Nancy... lots of luck....<P>AV

Oh M -<P>I am so sorry that you are in such pain....<P>Here's a BIG HUG!!!!!!<P>It will be OK....honest it will..<P>Whatever that report says has to be faced....but you know what? It can be a good thing in the long run. We can help you to work on whatever they think is needed and then you can get those kids back if they are taking them.<P>It is not the final end of things...there is always HOPE, there is always a way to work on things.<P>Don't despair Nancy.....Nothing is final!!!!! Remember that. Your kids love you and so do we.....<P>You are not and will not go through any of this alone!!!!<P>Face that report, examine what they say you need to improve on and then work to do that.....we will help you. The power to overcome this is within you - it really is!!! Show H and these darn court people just how wrong they are.<P>But first, get the report and see what it says....it may not be as bad as you think!!!<P>We Love Ya!!! <P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Hopefull, it says just the opposite of what you think.<P>Just remember it is not over, till it is over.<P>You are strong, You are great, and YOU will get through anything on top!<P>I am thinking and praying about you!

You guys don't understand....she told me...with him in the office that things don't look good for me. And that if my stbx called her within the month (that was in Jan.) telling her things had changed she would re-evaluate. But that it looked like she was going to go ahead with the GAL report that states that he should get custody.<P>I reread that report and I am still baffled. It really doesn't say anything bad about me. The only thing that sounds bad is that she feels that I am using my children as my support system during this divorce. That is so untrue. She said alot of lies....which I can prove wrong....not by my word....but by "paper" proof.<P>I called my attorney and left a msg telling him the report is in.....and asked him if he wants it faxed to him. Maybe let him be the first to see it.<P>But the part she also said...that just burns me up...is that I need to go on with my life....and I need the girls taken away to do that.<P>The worse part is that I could be having my girls ripped out of my arms very, very soon and they don't want to go. They don't want to live with him.<P>I am so devastated<P>Nancy

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MENTAL:<BR><B>You guys don't understand....she told me...with him in the office that things don't look good for me. And that if my stbx called her within the month (that was in Jan.) telling her things had changed she would re-evaluate. But that it looked like she was going to go ahead with the GAL report that states that he should get custody.<P>I reread that report and I am still baffled. It really doesn't say anything bad about me. The only thing that sounds bad is that she feels that I am using my children as my support system during this divorce. That is so untrue. She said alot of lies....which I can prove wrong....not by my word....but by "paper" proof.<P>I called my attorney and left a msg telling him the report is in.....and asked him if he wants it faxed to him. Maybe let him be the first to see it.<P>But the part she also said...that just burns me up...is that I need to go on with my life....and I need the girls taken away to do that.<P>The worse part is that I could be having my girls ripped out of my arms very, very soon and they don't want to go. They don't want to live with him.<P>I am so devastated<P>Nancy</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Nancy,<BR>How was he able to pull that off given you think he is bipolar. Should my W want to get D then I would use the bipolar thing along with her inability to control her temper and financial irresponsibility to attempt to get custody of our biys. Besides I would use the fact that the boys are afraid of her under certain circumstances and the fact that I see her treating the boys in the same manner that her mother treated her which she hated.<P>Her mother took out her anger towards her father on her. I see her doing the same to our boys.<P>I would see what options you have to see about turning this around.<P>MONDO HUG!!!!!! I am praying for you!!!!!<BR><P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

Rob,<BR>He is using my emotional instability....financial instability and the journals that I kept during my counseling (which he stole by the way) to take them away.<P>Those journals really made a difference. I did what I was told to do. Journal all my feelings....my fears. If I felt suicidal...write it, don't act upon it. Well <P>Nancy

He took your JOURNALS and used them against you? I'm so sorry... what a horrible thing to do. I daresay that if that happened to any one of us we'd all seem a little insane... this ride causes the insanity!<P>I'm very sorry for your pain. I also hope you're wrong! I hope you get to keep your kids.<P>~Sheryl

Sheryl,<BR>I hope I am wrong too. I hope that they stay with me...right where they belong.<P>My counselor and my uncle who is a physcologist said that it is very unethical for her to read them....since she asks her patients to journal. Those are very private thoughts and the drs tell you to be honest with your feelings....and the kicker....do not worry, they won't be used against you.<P>Well.....I am certainly going to try to fight it all. She was a terrible evaluator....she would tell me lies...to see if I would get angry....and do the same to my stbx. I swear she drove a bigger wedge between us.<P>Nancy

Nancy,<BR>I'm sorry that he dud that. However, unless you are showing signs of emotional instability outside what is normal for what you are going through. From what I have read and froom talking with other ladies that your responses are what I think is normal. Besides everyone experiences those feels even under normal circumstances. I would get a secoond opinion to refute what this person is saying.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

Rob,<BR>My new attorney mentioned getting a second opinion a few weeks ago. He knows all about this custody evaluator....she lost custody of her children because she lied on the stand at her own divorce. She was a weird one too.<P>I hope and pray that things are different than I think they are.<P>Nancy<P>PS Your right...I have not acted any different than someone else in the same situation. I know that....but why don't they?