Jill:<P>I was honored to hear you were thinking about me and wondering where I was. To be honest, like you; I have merely been 'lurking'.<P>First of all, I understand your hesitancy to open up to your husband despite all the encouragement to be open and honest. I feel that at some point in time..it will have to come out and that is a major part of what's eating you now.<P>As far as you witholding sex from your husband, this is unscriptural as per I Cor 7, but I addressed that in an earlier post to you.<P>While you are wrong as the wife, your husband is wrong in 'wanting sex'. Animals 'have sex' and really what he should want is to 'make love' to you and make you feel 'significant'.<P>You may call it "Passionate Monogamy" a term I just read in a Men are Mars, Women from Venus book.<P>It took the break-up of my marriage and alot of pain/mistakes for me to become the passionate, romantic, caring and sensitive lover that God is making me now. It's sad my ex-wife will never have the chance to know the 'new me'.<P>I pray your husband will discover what it really means to love you as Christ loved the church...that he will discover the importance of giving you meaningful touches and affirming you with kind words of praise/love throughout the day....so that at bedtime..when he wants a 'roll in the sack', you will be warmed up.<P>I am not excusing your behavior, for you have to answer to God for what you do or don't do and two wrongs do not make a right. However, I still believe that if a marriage fails or is in trouble....99% of the time it is ALWAYS the man's fault!<P>Even when Eve was deceived in the Garden, when God came down...who did He call into accountability? He didn't call out "Eve, where art thou?" No- He said "Adam..where art thou?" He called the MAN into accountability.<P>Has your husband ever read Dr. Edwin Cole's book called MAXIMIZED MANHOOD? I read it through in 24 hours and wept like a baby. I would suggest you get it for him. On the same token, Dr. Cole's wife wrote a companion book called "THE UNIQUE WOMAN" which I suggest for you.<P>Now...may I update my situation with you?<BR>My divorce was final on March 14th and I was only in front of the judge for 60 seconds to see a marriage of 33-1/2 years ended.<P>I stood for almost 4 years for restoration and did everything possible to make it happen but my wife didn't want it. The part that amazed me was in December, I actually felt the Lord released me from the marriage and I no longer wanted restoration.<P>To me my ex-wife is someone I used to know but is still the mother of our children. I am going on with my life and because I have so much love in me to give/share...I will marry again.<P>I have cried out to God for a 2nd chance to do things right that I didn't do all those years and I believe He is going to give me that chance.<P>Before my deliverance in Jan of 1996, even though I was a born again, spirit filled, minister of the Gospel; I was still a twisted, angry, violent and tormented man and it manifested itself in my sexual perversion with my wife.<P>I love who I am becoming for God is teaching me the real meaning of love and what it means to be a lover. The words passionate, romantic, caressing, gentleness, openess, honesty, transparency and vulnerability with my future mate; are becoming so very precious to me.<P>Quite a change from the man I 'used to be' and who is now dead...thank you Lord!<P>Jill, I am going to ask you your opinion about something. I have been seeing a woman for several months now and we are getting very serious.<P>We have connected in the spirit and soul and this has produced physical intimacy. We have not made love and both agree that we will not until we are married. However, here is what I want to share with you.<P>Beginning last week, we have slept together now for 3 nights. We hold each other, kiss passionately, touch each other, pray together in bed....but we haven't had and will not have intercourse.<P>Our sleeping together "without sex" has been a tremendous healing for us both. We have made love without the act of intercourse and to both of us who love the Lord with all of our hearts; we both feel this has been a very<BR>sacred, intimate and pure relationship.<P>I have told her, even though I want her sexually; God has placed a special grace within me to withold and be strong until our wedding night (if that is destined to be).<P>I was just wondering what your views were of 2 people sleeping together, holding each other but not having sex?<P>I look forward to your response and again, thanks for thinking about me.<P>[censored] from Texas<BR>

Actually, I'd welcome anyone else's insight into sleeping with a woman but not making love.<P>[censored] from Texas

[censored],<P>Myself, I don't see a problem with you sleeping with your lady friend and not making love. For me, it would be very hard. But there's a intimacy that I would welcome. Everyone needs affection. And if both you and her are comfortable with it, enjoy it. It's good that you both agree to this. <P>It's sounds as if you've gotten a good start at the next stage in your life.<P>Good luck,<BR>Mitzi

Hi, [censored].<P>I'm so glad that you're still around. Your presence here is so valuable to me and to many others. You are a treasure. <P>I am so sorry about your recent divorce. But, I am so thankful that you are allowing God to change you and use you in such a special way now. I am glad that you have a changed heart and that you are able to celebrate and praise God for how He is molding you into the person that He wants you to be.<P>The question you asked is a tough one. I was always taught as a teenager, and when teenagers ask me, I always tell them not to set themselves up to be in a situation that they can't get out of (like I did when I had my affair). If you have promised yourself that you will not "have sex" until you are married, then sleeping together and holding each other at night will make keeping that promise to yourself very difficult.<P>My husband and I were both virgins when we married. But, I still remember those months leading up to the wedding as being so precious. We didn't kiss passionately (we kissed goodnight, but we didn't have "make-out" session...LOL). We didn't caress various body parts (we hugged). And, YES, we would have LOVED to have kissed passionately, but we knew that neither of us were strong enough to stop BEFORE sex happened. That's why we were so "strict" on ourselves. So, by the time the wedding night came along, we had MONTHS of passion that had built up. My husband kissed me passionately for the very first time on our wedding night. Everything was so new! I remember how wonderfully strange and exciting it felt to fall asleep with my husband and to awaken with him next to me. If I had already been sleeping in his arms during our dating relationship, the newness and the surprise would have been spoiled.<P>I realize that after what you have been through that you are needing affection even more than you would under normal circumstances. I realize that it is probably very comforting for you to have someone to hold you throughout the night. I am glad that you have found someone that you have connected with on such a profound level. Obviously, it is important for you to continue to be emotionally intimate with your special person. But, if it's really important to you not have sex with this person until you are married, then you should probably "back-off" on the physical intimacy. Talk, hold hands, look deeply into one another's eyes, kiss goodnight...<P>You asked for my honest opinion, and I gave it to you. If anyone else reads this, I will probably be "flamed"...LOL<P>I hope this helps you in some small way.<P>As for my situation...<P>I am not deliberatly keeping sex from my husband. It's not like I'm sitting here using the old "I have a headache/I'm too tired" excuse. It's that I do not feel sexual towards him or towards any other man, for that matter. He doesn't want to "make love" to me, he wants to relieve his sexual frustration. I can understand that. But, do you (or other men, for that matter)realize how painful (physically and emotionally) it is for a woman to have sex when she has not been physically or emotionally prepared??? OUCH. It is NOT physically possible for me to be prepared for sex when my husband doesn't acknowledge my presence for weeks and weeks and weeks. Some would argue, "You had sex with another man with no problem." Well, the OM had been talking to me for months before we ever had sex--our whole relationship was about communication before sex was even a thought. <P>I'm a nursing student, and I have been "on rotation" through obstetrics/gynecology. Many women complain of painful intercourse, or the lack of a desire to have intercourse with their husbands. After any physiological problems have been ruled-out, most doctors will tell their patients that their husbands have to be more careful with them and that their husbands will have to spend more time preparing them for sex. This advice comes from Christian and non-Christian doctors.<P>We (my husband/me) are finally getting to the point where we even want to HUG each other, much less "make love". <P>As far as revealing the affair goes...I'm working on it...praying about it...thinking about it.<P>It's so good to hear from you again.<P>I'm sorry it took me so long to respond...I haven't been here for a few days.<P>Love,<P>Jill<BR>

Jill,<P>I'm sorry for butting in on a "private" thread (eew, I feel like an eavesdropper!)<P>But I just wanted to add my 2 cents. Please take with a grain of salt...<P>It sounds like you and your husband are caught in a vicious circle. He is cool to you so you don't feel sexually attracted to him. Your lack of sexual attraction to him hurts his feelings so he acts cool to you. Someone has to break this cycle.<P>Many men (myself included) equate fulfillment of sexual needs with love - as your H he is counting on you to take care of this need. I guess it is a Mars/Venus thing - women tend to make a face when they hear this. Men and women just think differently about this. That doesn't make it wrong, just different.<P>To break this cycle, somebody has to <B>sacrifice</B> something. He has to sacrifice his hurt feelings and treat you right, or you have to sacrifice the need to have him treat you right before having sex with him. Not that it should be this way always - it shouldn't.<P>But would one of you be willing to make such a sacrifice for the sake of the healing that might come from it?<P>[censored],<P>I agree with Jill regarding the sleeping arrangements. Unless you two are extraordinary humans, you are really tempting yourselves.<P>------------------<BR>But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.<BR>Galatians 5:22-23

To Jill, Mitzi and 2sad4words<P>Thank you for your input. This is something I never dreamed would happen. After being married for 33-1/2 years and both of us being virgins when we married....this is a whole new experience.<P>I am not bragging on me, I am bragging on Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit. I am so dead set against sex outside of the marriage bed and so is B..., my love; that I have told her I would be strong for both of us.<P>I have no intentions of have sex, intercourse or making love until our wedding night.<P>What I have experienced with her over the past few nights (our apartments are right across the walk from each other; has been what I call "emotional intercourse".<P>It has brought much healing to us both and we have both experienced 'spiritual and emotional' (but not sexual releases). I have held her in my arms (she has a queen size bed and I had been sleeping in a single bed).<P>We have fallen asleep in each other's arms and wakened in the middle of the night, only to kiss, embrace but we know our limits.<P>I have also held her in my arms and prayed over her and for her during these times. I have been pouring everything I could into her spiritually. She, like me, was damaged goods and was literally shattered emotionally.<P>God has done such an awesome work in my inner man and character over the past 4+ years and He is doing such an awesome work in B... She too is a powerful woman of God and to be honest, the thing that drew us together in the first place was the "spiritual".<P>We are spiritually connected in a way that my former wife of nearly 34 years and I weren't.<BR>Our spirits and souls have touched/embraced and if you only knew my dark, perverse background (even as a Christian); you would appreciate that now God has made me into a gentle, soft, sensitive, open, vulnerable person.<P>I have told B...my greatest fantasy is to bring her pleasure in doing things that she enjoys (in every area). I believe a man/woman should serve one another and I get such an emotional release (and even sexual without the act) in just Pure Passion, caressing, tenderness, soft whispers and just having our lips gently brush against the other's.<P>I can honestly say I have never had a lustful thought towards B...and she feels so safe and secure in my arms. If you knew what she had been through in her past...this would be a miracle to you as well.<P>Yes, I do not believe in 'tempting God' or opening the door to the enemy. But, I am strong enough, mature enough to dedicate myself to waiting until our wedding night for the coming together.<P>We have both agreed, that a relationship and especially marriage can not be based on the sexual. It must FIRST be the spiritual. We can sit together and listen to Praise/Worship Tapes, pray together, share the Word of God together and find ourselves becoming inflamed for one another.<P>I feel like the luckiest man alive because I believe I have tapped into what God intended a man/woman to experience together.<P>B...and I are best friends, I enjoy her company...we are totally compatable in everything. Many times she will finish a sentence I start. Many times we will think the same thing.<P>I can honestly say that we have a 'healthy' relationship in that we are feeding off of one another's 'strengths' and not our weaknesses.<P>God is not interested in putting 2 broken 1/2's together to make 1 whole....He is only interested in putting 2 complete whole's together to make 1 complete whole.<P>Because of my totally dysfunctional background, being co-dependend + numerous hangups that God has freed me from....I feel I have been prepared to be the man of God, the husband/lover I should have been all those years.<P>I know I have been quite open and frank, but I have nothing to hide! I know many 'well-meaning' religious do-gooders would come down against us....but God knows our hearts.<P>I agree, if I were weak in this area..I would be opening the door to the enemy...but we both have agreed if we gave in for a moment of passion/pleasure in making love 'outside of marriage'....it would totally destroy our relationship and we couldn't face each other.<P>This alone has been a tremendous deterrant against 'giving in to our feelings' (tho' we both have experienced a level of pure eroticism that we never dreamed existed). We know it is worth waiting for until our wedding night.<P>I am so strong that SEX BEGINS IN THE KITCHEN and not the BEDROOM. Meaning, a woman needs meaningful touches and words of love and affirmation all throughout the day and by bedtime...she will be warmed up.<P>So many men wait til just before bedtime and expect their wives to perform when they haven't touched or affirmed them, perhaps for days at a time.<P>Again I state: Animals have sex, but married people who are really bonded "make love". The greatest release I have experienced is when I focus on meeting B....'s needs (in every area) and as I do..I discover in bringing her pleasure..I receive pleasure.<P>This is something the majority of men are stupid in! I'm sorry, but as a man; I am very hard on men because most men are 'jerks' and wimps. Unfortunately it cost me my marriage to finally wake up.<P>I honestly believe with B...God is giving me that 2d chance I have prayed/cried for, for over 4 years to do things right in a marriage.<P>Again, thank you for your input and I pray something I have shared with you will minister to you.<P>Remember..."Unless the Lord build the house, they that labor, labor in vain" <BR>Psalms 127:1)<P>I bless each of you in your individual situations.<P>[censored] from Texas

2sad4words (a.k.a. eavesdropper...LOL...KIDDING! ):<P>Although sex with my husband is infrequent (VERY), we do eventually end up having sex. Therefore, I feel that I AM the one breaking the cycle.<P>My husband isn't "cool" to me. To me, cool is a more sensitive way of saying that he's selfish. <P>I have communicated clearly to my husband my feelings, my thoughts and my desires pertaining to our relationship and where I think it is and where I think that it's going unless things change. I have explained to him over and over again why it is that I am not able to have sex with him more frequently. I have worked very hard to become a better person and a more understanding and giving wife. My husband ignores all of these things. It is a HUGE slap in my face when people say that I should do this or that, when I HAVE been doing this or that for many years (seven). It is a huge slap in my face when I am told that I should be the bigger person, when, with the exception of my affair, I HAVE been the bigger person. I am always the one seeking counseling, reading books and trying to apply marriage building/marriage saving principles to my life and relationship. I've been ignored and invisible for 7 years and I'm tired. I'm tired of giving in and having sex when I don't feel like it, and I'm tired of being told that it's my "wifely duty" to do so. I have said it before and I'll say it again: I am not deliberately keeping sex from my husband. He can kiss me and caress me for HOURS, and I still wouldn't be physically or emotionally prepared to have sex with him. <P>How can I put things any more clearly than I already have?? I'm not trying to be mean...I'm just trying to be truthful.<P>I do appreciate your advice and input.<P>[censored]:<P>I know that your intentions towards your special person are pure. Prior to my affair, if someone would have asked me to list areas that tempted me, I would never have listed anything sexual as a temptation or a vulnerability. I thought that my "armor" was strong enough to resist an "attack". Boy, was I wrong. I just don't want you to have a surprise attack at the very time that you think that all is well.<P>I'm so happy that you are happy.<P>I pray that God will continue to shine in your life (you, too, 2sad4words... )<P>Love,<P>Jill

Jill:<P>Thank you for your concern, but God has given me a 'special grace' to be able to say no and to remain strong.<P>As far as your situation goes, I understand how you feel. I know personally how it feels to ALWAYS be the one to confront, apologize, humble myself, be open, transparent, honest and vulnerable.<P>I have said it before and I will say it again, 2 wrongs do not make a right and you have to take responsibility for your actions.<P>However, it sounds like your husband has never faced himself or dealt with his issues and until he does....he will not be able to meet your needs.<P>I remember just a couple of days before I experienced major deliverance that turned me life around and I began to let the Lord deal with my inner life/character, back in January<BR>of 1996; I was speaking with someone I hardly knew and was railing against my wife.<P>She said "[censored], I sense that while you are putting fires out all around you, the problem is within you". Wow! Then, 2 days later I began the journey that has carried me now going into my 5th year.<P>Does your husband have a problem receiving love? So many Christians are trying to love others, but they hate themselves. I was guilty of this. I had to learn something called 'self-love' (not selfish love).<P>Jesus said we should love our neighbor as we love (or in direct proportion) to the way we love ourselves.<P>How can you love someone when you don't love yourself.<P>God requires the Head of the Home to take responsibility..change must come from the head. Is your husband an active, High Priest of your home? Does he pray with you, for you? The greatest ministry a man can ever have is to his wife!<P>I still feel your husband does not know the difference between 'having sex' and 'making love'.<P>Yes, I Cor 7 does state that neither a husband or wife should defraud (withold) sexual relations from the other..however; I can understand how you feel.<P>I still maintain that at some point in time, you are going to have to tell him about your affair and leave his response up to the Lord.<P>Blessings upon you my sister and friend!<P>[censored] from Texas<P>P.S.<P>He is Jehovah Shammah (the God who is always there).<P>He isn't just there when the sun is shining and everything is rosy....the Holy Spirit broods over the face of the deepest of our darkest hours. Psalms 139 states that even if we descend to the lowest part of the earth and make our bed in hell....behold thou art there!<P>God is with you Jill, even when you don't feel Him and the writer of Hebrews declares that Jesus is a Merciful High Priest who is touched, not only by our infirmities (weaknesses), but also the 'feelings of' those infirmities.<P>In other words, Jesus is touched not only by your depression/frustration...but also how you 'feel' about your depression/frustration.<P>

[censored]:<P>A comment on your issue. You say that your divorce has been complete for only a couple of weeks, yet you've been seeing this woman for several months.<P>My concern for you would be that this is a "rebound" relationship. You've been needy for a very long time, and this woman's attention fills an obvious spot that you've been lacking. Please take good care of yourself and this lady friend by going very slow to the path of marriage---I would advise you to give yourself at least a year before making that committment. Truly, for someone who has been married for 33 years, the normal recommendation would be to not date at all for at least a year or two.<P>It's pretty clear that you're "in love", and that's good. Just be very careful to make sure that these in love feelings (the adreneline rush) are also grounded in a skill set that will make you good marriage partners, should you go down that path.<P>God bless.

Jill,<P>Hey, I didn't mean to slap your face! Of course I don't know your history well enough to avoid inadvertantly insulting you - hence the "grain of salt".<P>And believe me, I understand you position of always being the one to be actively struggling (reading the books, being the first mover, etc). That is me. And my W has no interest in it, doesn't even want to talk about it. I know how hard it is.<P>Maybe I'm just projecting my situation onto yours (no sex here for more than 6 months now - and it would be <B>so</B> meaningful.) I guess I wouldn't want anyone else to suffer the same feelings of rejection and abandonment that I do.<P>Sorry for being presumptuous. The more I hear about how seemingly unconscious your H is, the more I think he needs that whack-on-the-head wake up call. He obviously is totally unaware what a jewel he is ignoring .<P>------------------<BR>But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.<BR>Galatians 5:22-23

[censored],<P>Hmmm... how to say this. Those who say "I'm too strong to fall." are usually the ones who fall the hardest. And I don't believe God provides any 'special grace' to protect those who deliberately and repeatedly put themselves in situations that are just a heartbeat away from what they themselves believe to be sin. You are not the first, nor the last, to use that rationalization, my friend.<P>That said, I personally don't think you're doing anything wrong! The only difference between an courtship/marriage and an affair is the circumstances: in the former, you're encouraged to live the fantasy, in the latter, you're condemned if you do.<P>If you were married, what you are doing would rightfully be called (at least) an emotional affair. (Just ask the legions of emotionally-betrayed here.) Because you are not married, it's OK -- at least in the sense that no spouse is being betrayed.<P>So, have fun kids! Just remember that home plate is not that much farther than third base! <P><BR>

K<P>In the past, we really haven't 'flowed' together in our posts/replies. However, your reply to me here was well-taken and contained much wisdom.<P>A wise man receives counsel, while a fool refuses counsel. I hereby receive your input.<P>However, please understand something which I probably didn't make clear.<P>Although the divorce has only been final for 2 weeks, my wife divorced me in her heart 4 years ago. In the 4 year separation, I hardly saw her, never slept with her and all the divorce did was make it legal with the State of Texas.<P>So, it isn't as though I rushed into a rebound relationship. I met B...last summer when I was trying to get her and her ex-husband back together. We became a very close three-some.<P>Then, beginning in late November, early December we became attracted to one another; yet she continued to believe for my wife and I to be restored. In early December, I gave up on believing for my marriage, but B...had nothing to do with it.<P>So..it is not a 'rebound' relationship and we aren't even engaged yet. If we become engaged, I want sometime to continue courting, dating and getting to know one another.<P>We are both in need of more healing, even though we have experienced alot of healing. I believe there is beginning for us, a 'joint healing' or healing that comes from being together.<P>So, again I appreciate your input and it was well received.<P>Bless you!<P>[censored] from Texas

Doug<P>You don't know my heart and my strong convictions about sex only being in the 'marriage bed'.<P>I love B... too much to fall in a weak moment because I know, she knows it would totally destroy our respect for one another and would destroy the relationship.<P>We are both considering ourselves 'virgins' at least in our spirits until we are married.<P>I am not presuming upon the Lord, but I do feel He has empowered me to 'not' give in.<P>At first, your reply sounded like you were going to 'nail me to the wall'....but then you said you didn't feel I was doing anything wrong because neither I, nor B... was married.<P>I read something here on another Forum today in which the person said "if you aren't doing anything wrong then you shouldn't care what others think or say".<P>Anyway, thanks for taking the time to reply!<P>Bless you!<P>[censored] from Texas<P>P.S.<P>Doug,<P>I have read other of your posts/replies and from what I remember, you are a dear brother in Christ.

Hey, I butt in anywhere. [censored], I think as long as your conscious isn't bothered by this you are ok. I can't think of any scripture that says, thou shalt not fall asleep next to someone before getting married. Granted I could be wrong, and somebody will make an argument that sleeping in the spoon position can be a form of sex, and therefore is amoral before marriage, but hey. Incidentally, I did have intercourse before marriage with my now husband. We were virgins too. I know there are those out there who think I have committed the ultimate sin, and therefore will go straight to Hades the minute I reach the pearly gates, but that's between me and God. If you are bothered by it, ask your minister. I'm sure he could lead you to passages in the bible that might direct your thinking either way.<P>BTW I like your 90 percent comment. I personally believe it's more like 50/50 but the woman's libber in me kind of likes the idea that I can only be wrong 10 percent of the time. LOL <P>Jill, <BR>I know you've tried. It's got to be the most frustrating thing in the world to be constantly trying to tell your husband what is missing, and feeling like it's falling on deaf ears. I have been there...honest. Sometimes though it is the smallest subtlest change that makes all the difference. In one of the Mars/Venus books there is a letter idea. I like writing letters because it allows me to have an opportunity to really look at what I'm saying. I've been surprised to go back a couple of days later and find that what I thought was so carefully and fully expressed in a moment of passion really came across as rather haughty, and just wasn't worded right. The letter approach allowed me to change ever so slightly the way in which I approached conflict. Besides the format is set up to be very postive from the start, and puts it's reciever in the mood to make a change. It's worth a try right?

[censored],<P>I certainly do remember that you were living for several years "without" your wife, while she was acting as a missionary (Africa??).<P>The rebound that I speak of is really that this is your first relationship in a very long time, and it's very easy to throw yourself into this emotionally without taking account of the "logistics" of how the relationship will fare in the long term.<P>But I say that as a "general" warning. It sounds like you're handling yourself fine. Good luck, and do enjoy yourself!

K and Beth<P>Thank you both for your kind responses!<P>Blessings upon you!<P>[censored] from Texas<P>P.S.<P>K<P>Thanks for the vote of confidence that I am handling my situation cautiously, your comments were well received!

beth28:<P>Like you, I write letters alot so that I can clearly communicate what I am thinking/feeling. Letters help me to keep my big mouth under control . I usually will write a letter and then hold on to it for a few days or longer. That way, I can read and revise as necessary.<P>Thanks for your input and advice.<P>Jill

[censored],<P>This is not biblically based by any means, but if you can restrain from temptation...Go for it!<P>You sound like a great guy. I hope I find somebody like you out there someday!

[censored],<BR>I wouldn't do it if it were me because I would not be doing anything where I knew that I was weak. I too thought that you might be on the rebound because 33.5 years is a long time to be together. It took me 2.5 years to heal over a 4 year relationship with my XGF. I would hate to see how long it would take me to heal from my marriage to my W. I have known her nearly 15 years. I would assume that it would take me a long time to heal.<P>I have resigned myself to not get involved should we go down that path and only reconcile with her provided she doesn't get married and wants to see me beyond seeing the boys. If it doesn't work out the only ohter person I would remotely consider seeing is my XGF. I have been hurt twice and twice is more than enough for me. I only married my W because God asked me to marry her otherwise I would have been a humble single servant rather than a married humble servant.<P>As long as you are not tempting yourslef unduly, I would say go with it.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

[censored],<P>Yes, I am a Christian. Have been since I was in 5th grade (a LONG time ago!) Except that now I'm a much more cynical Christian than just a year ago, but that's my problem and I have to work that out with God.<P>Back when I was a newbie here at MB, it was pointed out by several good people that I was walking a little close to the edge of a slippery slope, with regards to an ongoing correspondance. (JUST correspondance.) <P>As I'm sure you know, when you walk at the edge, SOMETIMES you just fall in, no matter how hard you try to keep your balance.<P>Sounds to me like you've got something very good with your lady-friend. If you can walk that close to the edge, without falling in, then in the words of Rudyard Kipling:<P>"You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din."<P>Peace <p>[This message has been edited by Doug (edited March 29, 2000).]