I know the statistics show that these affairs do not usually last, but does the ws ever realize the extent of the mistakes they have made? Just curious <P>Tulip

Tulip,<BR> If you find out the answer to that one,let me know! --Murph

Tulip, check out my earlier post about ws's memory. It seems that some of the WS do get the picture. I do not know what makes this happen though.<P>All I know is my H really seems to have been replaced by someone else. His brain appears to have been sucked out.\\<P>The way he has acted in these last 4 months he would never have acted in his whole life.<P>Of course he tells me he is a different person. He truly believes what he is doing is the right thing. That for some reason he has been called upon to give up the values he was raised with and believed for some greater cause. (that does not include honoring marraige vows or raising his children)<P>When he does say something about our marraige it is untrue. It makes me want to scream. But I don't......I don't think it would do any good. Early on in this mess I screamed at him for what he was doing to me and the kids.....His reply was "see, this is exactly why I am leaving you....you ALWAYS scream at me". WHich is a lie....ask my kids....ask his family.....ask all of our friends. We never yelled. <P>In fact, the other night he yelled at our son and our son lost it emotionally for about a half hour because his dad yelled at him for no reason. We have never done that to our kids. I think my kids are starting to get fed up with this new, unimproved dad also.<P>I am getting close to walking away and letting him fall flat on his face. I am very soon going to have to go to plan B.

tootrusting,<BR> Question:was that the updated"Infidelity Manual",or the older version?My W said the exact same thing,"I'm doing the right thing".I guess if that means devastating your H,his family,your family,and throwing away all your values and 22 years of marriage,it's probably the right thing.<BR> I got the"ALWAYS" word,too("You're ALWAYS doing that!")Amazing,isn't it? Sounds like you about ready for plan B,too. --Murph