Well, another long week. I actually saw H a lot this week. I think OP is on vacation, but hey, that's ok. <P>He comes to see the kids, but I go back and forth. <P>On one hand I am glad that he is spending time with the kids.<P>On the other hand he is a different dad. He was very involved with them. Helped with homework and projects, ate dinner with them, helped put them to bed, got them up....discussed problems with them....etc. etc. (I guess he didn't really want to do those things.)<P>Then BAM he finds himself (unknowingly I think) very co-dependent in an EA with a nutty co-worker following a long business trip overseas. <P>Now he seems to be on some higher plane of existance that only he and the OP can be connected to and the rest of us mere mortals (including his kids) can only dream of!!!!!!<P>So as you can see, sometimes I am truly fed up with this........<P><BR>Especially when it comes to the kids. I feel like telling him "look...go OD with the OP" and finding a nice "replacement" for him as husband and father!!!!!<P><BR>THen he comes over tonight after the kids are in bed to ask an inane question and I find myself hugging him and looking into his eyes and feeling the love (that by the way, I have not forgotton and replaced) and thinking to myself.....well maybe I can go one more day with this....<P><BR>Does anyone else fall into this category????

tootrusting--<P>Oh do I know how you feel!!<P>Just when I am convinced that I cannot take this anymore and I feel like I am ready to move on...I look into my W's eyes and I melt!<P>Why do I (we) continue to go back for more?????<P>Just when I thought that I had made up my mind, I just get more confused!<P>Hang in there...maybe that next day will be a good one (at least we can hope for that)!!<P>Doug<BR>

I know I think that do this to us on purpose. Just as I think I can deal with H being gone that it is over on his part, he does this things. FIrst contact with family, then phone calls to me, then letter and then last week in when he said he wants to come back. Now it has been since Mon. soince I have heard from him. He is still living with OW. So here we go up and down. I told BIll on another thread that we were all like yoyos and I do believe it. SO you aren't alone.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

I want to respond to your post. But first, if it's not too personal, what was the "insane question" that he asked you that made you hug him?<P>SamH

I know what you mean. <P>Sometimes I wonder if I'm still playing the fool. "Is he really telling the truth?" I wonder. <P>Then I hear him say he loves me and he wants only me. My heart soars and I know I'm doing the right thing staying!!<P>Then I read an e-mail sent to him by a "business associate" that starts out, "Babe--" and ends with "I missed you." And I know that he started up a new EA that "doesn't count" in his world and I think once again that I'm a fool.<P>Then we talk about it and he says how sorry he is he hurt me and promises to get help....<P>I've never liked roller coasters and, boy, did I get stuck on the biggest one of my life.<P>I finally sat down this past week and set my own personal limits. I shared them with him. I don't know if they would qualify as "lovebusting ultimatums", but to me they were necessary. I thought it would be unfair to have standards that he didn't know about.<P>So that's what I did. I don't know if it was right or wrong, but I sure did feel just the way you described, tootrusting, and I knew I couldn't keep on doing it.