I don't know what to say at the moment. I am confused to say the least. The OM gave my W an ultimatum, said "I move in or we are done" ... they are done. I don't think he was expecting that.<P>She says she needs time to herself right now which to me is just fine. Myself, I am unsure how to procede since I am getting myself involved with someone who is special.<P>I just don't know, but had to post.<P>J

So are you saying that you are also starting to have an affair?<P>How long has your W been having an affair?<P>Need more info!

Uh oh. I knew there was a good reason I hadn't been hearing from you.<P>You ok?<P>Lori

Reina: I have been moved out since Jan 1/00. So it's been an interesting ride. I gave it my all with Plan A, but now some of the bitterness is seeping in a bit. Not anger yet, but I am a bit tired of the chit chat and supporting her needs. I don't know if they are done for sure since they both have their withdrawl to go through. She made it clear that this doesn't mean she wants to come back. She needs her space blah blah blah. I still care for her but the love units are pretty depleted. If this is an affair I am going into, naa not really but it is putting me on the spot right now.<P>Lori, I hope you are doing well, I miss you alot. We don't seem to connect when you are on which is a depressing thing. But given the circumstances of your recovery it's wonderful. You will always be my angel.<P>I am doing good actually, just unsure how to proceed since I really enjoy i guess I can call her a girlfriend. I do know that the W is not ready nor will be for some time. She called me up last night after the kids went to bed (at her house) wondering if I was ok since she didnt hear from me all day. I didn't return any of her emails (Idle chit chat - although I sorta wanted to) Improvised plan b or something. And wasnt home when she called earlier. I was out riding and missed the call. See, I got a new street bike and was out and about.<P>Don't know , maybe it doesn't mean anything but I don't want to be a security blanket.<P>J

Do something to pump up your ego, that's what's really hurting right now. Don't have a fling, but think of something that will make you feel really good about yourself that won't involve your wife.<P>You've come too far to quit now...things are starting to tilt your way. The marathon is on its last mile. You don't FEEL like continuing, but the finish line is within reach. Don't through all that past sacrifice in Plan A down the drain just when things are starting to improve.<P>

It looks like things are getting better with your wife, PLEASE hold off dating until you know for sure where you want to go with your marriage.<P>It is good to move on, but if you abandon your marriage early you'll never forgive yourself.<P>Good luck to you! --HBC