Just like every new comer I have been hanging around since December. I have been trying to deal with this on my own. Everyone of yall have alot of good points and yall have helped me out alot.<P>I am the betrayer. I have drifted from my H because of a family issue. He doesn't want kids and I got another man involved. So I am the betrayer. I tried to tell my H and he thinks because it's just an EA that's not bad. I tried to explain how serious this could really be and broke it off. My H said we would try and work it out, but he doesn't want kids and I do with all my heart. I have been angry over this issue for 3 years and now I have involved another man. I should mention that my H caught us kissing and he said "we just had too much to drink". He's in denial. <P>Anyways I broke it off with the other man and H and I haven't gotten far. He doesn't want to talk about it and he also thinks that maybe we need to go our seperate ways because we have different futures. We've done therapy and it didn't work. I think the real reason I'm here today is because I got the paper work drawn up like he asked on Saturday and it just makes me sick. We are more like best friends than H & W. I haven't been attracted to him for awhile. I just wanted to vent. I guess when I get home I will see what he says about the papers. Thanks for listening.<P>Also, it hurts like hell to see someone you love hurt and it hurts to let go of something new and exciting. It over comes you and your world. All of you that have been betrayed I'm so sorry for your pain. I know my words don't mean much but like I said I have been hanging out and have seen your pain and tears and I just wanted to say sorry.

NSR usually comes around with the welcome wagon.<P>Welcome to MB. Betrayers are also welcome here.<P>I didn't really get what you were saying. You sound like h is not taking it seriously and yet you are sorry for all the pain you caused?<P>In general I think women find an EA more devastating than men do. For many of us, the fact they fell in love with someone else is worse than just the sex.<P>Harley's principles do work. You could find the attraction again. But you can't make him want kids. You can have mine. <P>If I had known how they would complicate my life and marriage, I would not have had them. So many marriages suffer when the kids are born because we are all so stupid, and don't know how to handle the changes.<P>How long have you been married? Did you discuss the kids before marriage? Is this a reversal?

In general I think women find an EA more devastating than men do. For many of us, the fact they fell in love with someone else is worse than just the sex.<P>ABSOLUTELY AND MOST DEFINETLY!!! I had more of a problem admiting I had feelings for OM then I did admitting I had trashed our marriage vows with another sex partner!! WA hooo.....<P>My brother in law never wanted kids. His wife did. Well, she got pregant. They are so neglectful of this child. He has taught her how to argue, be disrespectful. He thinks it is funny when she cusses. He still says he wished she was never born. She is almost 5 and still in diapers and on a bottle. it is so awful. <P>I would say, that if you are BF, keep it that way and either not ever have kids(i don't think having them anyway changes minds at all) or stay friends and part ways?<P>Good Luck,<BR>Mercy