as I've posted hee before my H is having an affair with a women from abroad... I found out in Oct99 and it started in Sept99. He now says that they don't talk as much and that this relationship will never work... I truly don't believe that this is what he really thinks. the last time I know that they saw each other was... Oct99.. MY H left once at the end of Jan00 and came home 10 days later wanting a committment... he promised to break it off with the OP... but I found out 3 weeks ago he hadn't....<P>He talks of wanting a divorce... "only thing I see to do"... his reasons being..." feellike a failure..guilt shame...what our family and friends think... what if we work on this and thinks don't change and we go back to the same old thing/ways... what if my(his) feelings don't change toward you(me) also he states he has resentment toward me...." He is starting to read surving an affair by Harley.... He states that when we are intimate, its only "physical" for him. He has backed way off on intimacy with me due to the fact that he realizes that I get mixed messages from him.....<P>He is still home... when we talk of the divorce... and rules etc... he gets upset... feels like he should be able to come to the house whenever he wants etc.... doesn't like the fact that I may move back home with the kids...1500 miles away...statednhe came back for some feelings for me, the kids and money.... now he states that he came back for kids and money only....<P>I guess I'm looking for advice... on what I should be doing etc.... does the counseling center at MB work??? Has anyone ever tried it??? also H will throw back in my face when we get in a heated talk/argument that I have a temper and how can he think of working on marriage when I (me) act like this ... "it makes it real hard" He also states that he is exhausted and has no feelings for me... <P>I would appreciate any and all comments... and of course prayers....Thanks.s

scoick,<P>This is the time to continue in Plan A...<BR>...as best you can!<P>His guilt is what is bothering him...<BR>...doing a good Plan A won't eliminate it... but in time it will fade.<P>Don't bring up "mov(ing) back home with the kids"... that is a huge Love Buster.<P>Feelings for you will return... resentment will go away... but it will take some time. Starting on the Policy of Joint Agreement (POJA) may help you... both!<P>Using the MB counseling services... I found to be very helpful. It was just me (my W wants out of our relationship)... but it was very good.<P>Controling your temper at this stage <B>is</B> important. This is the epitome of Love Busters... If you start to argue... back off as quickly as you can... say something like... "I'm upset... I don't want to hurt you... let's come back to this with cooler heads... it can be worked out!".<P>Prayers... <P>Jim<BR>