I've recently realised that what my wife has is a midlife crisis (MLC). I have told my story here earlier, but some days ago I posted my story on another Forum at another web site:<BR> <A HREF="http://207.69.73.87/ubb/Forum9/HTML/000015.html" TARGET=_blank>http://207.69.73.87/ubb/Forum9/HTML/000015.html</A> <P>It is a board which has topics for midlife crisis (his and hers), and when reading other peoples story and compare it to my wife it made my flesh crawl. I'm pretty sure that what my wife is going through is an MLC.<BR>People on the forum at this site suggests that people being where my wife seems to be (in the process of leaving me...slowly..but nevertheless) should be cut out and shown the door. How does this match with the ideas of Harley with PLAN A/B? The people over on that forum does not seem to think fulfillling their needs helps a bit. Is Harley adressing MLC cases, and in case what does he say?

I don't think you "show them the door."<P>I do think you let them know that, while you want them to stay, you won't try and stop them if they really want to leave.<P>You do actively Plan A...whther they stay while they try and make sense of this all, or leave, you want them to view you/home as safe/loving/good place to be. I'm told being in MLC is like weathering a storm of confusing emotions, values, questioning everything (much like adolesence!!!).<P>Like the parent of an adolescent, you do not stand for disrepect, but you do extend your love and understanding. And, you pray a lot that they will come thru safely.<P>Kathi

scandinavian,<P>Although my H just turned 30 it is my belief that his affair was if not rooted, directly affected by a mid-life crisis.<BR>His affair began 2 weeks after his birthday and he was constantly saying things like..."I can't believe I am not in my 20's anymore!"..."Now I really have to be a grown up."..."The lifestyle with OW would be so much more free of responsibility, no kids to worry about, more freedom with finances..."<BR>Plan A worked on him, he came to realize that he didn't like the person he was becoming and that he liked the responsibility of being a fulltime daddy. He realized through my Plan A that the love he had experienced and was experiencing here at home was greater than anything he could ever have with OW. It took him awhile to come to his senses but Plan A is what allowed him to do that.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole