How do we trust again?<P> My first marriage ended after finding out that my wife had several affairs. By then it was a mutual agreement she had found someone else and I no longer wanted to be married to her. We were both too young and the marriage would have ended one way or another. I have since remarried, this time I thought it was the real thing. Things were good for a few years even though we were separated alot of the time (military). After about a year of living together she had two different affairs, and I found out about other questionable incidents. As I have said in some of my other posts we moved, started a new life, and things are generally good. She tells me that I am the only one for her and she loves me, and will never do the things she did again. <P>But... <P> She has said all this before she did the things she did, I love her and want to believe her. There is still the voice in the back of my head that says<P> " Sure you say that now, but how is this any different, how do I know you won't do this again."<P>I just keep seeing history repeating its self <P>Sorry for the length, just needed to vent a little.<P>Thanx, Jason<P>

Jason I just read your post and I will be back I'm just in a hurry now.<P>Trust is one of the most difficult things to get back after affairs, but it can be done. I'll try to be back again tonight with more time.<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.

Jason,<P>You are going to get as many different answers as you get posts, but I think trust just takes time and effort. You are expressing an openness to trust and that is about all that can happen on your side of things. I think your W needs to do everything in her power over time to prove to you that she is again trustworthy. There will be times of doubt of course but they need to be few and far between to rebuild what was destroyed. Trust is kind of like the bible's definition of faith,"the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen". Trust is an intangible but it is something we hope for none the less. Once it is broken it takes real effort to restore. Just my thoughts on the issue and I am in my own process of finding it again in my marriage.<P>------------------<BR>eyes wide open<BR>