I've been feeling great this past week and just wanted to share with you.<P>It was the beginning of last month when I realized that my marriage was heading for the toilet. My H was becoming more involved in internet affairs and was going to go away for the weekend with somebody else - since I was unable to go with him. In short, we were leading separate lives and were both miserable. I found this website, went to a marriage counselor, and started applying plan a and reading up on all the other information this site had to offer.<P>The counselor didn't help much, other than helping me verbalize what was going on in my mind, but the information on this website made a lot of sense, and I realized that I wasn't alone in my situation. I have received a number of opinions and advice and am thankful to all of you who have responded.<P>I've lost 25 pounds on the infidelity diet, started feeling better about my appearance, self esteem rose, felt sexier. The first 3 weeks were extremely bumpy with my H saying things like he didn't want to try anymore, didn't have the same sexual ideas that I had, etc. On the other hand, he said he loved me and was as committed to this marriage as I was. For every step forward, I received two steps back. <P>But I kept at it. I read His Needs, Her Needs (an EXCELLENT book!), stayed positive, and kept filling my H's love bank by keeping the house and especially the yard clean - I basically took over his yard responsibilities - had the children happy when he came home from work, and arranged time alone for just the two of us.<P>I just made flight reservations yesterday for this weekend trip that I will be attending (not the OW).<P>We went out on a date last saturday - the first one in 8 YEARS! Comedy club, then nightclub. He said I looked fantastic and we both had a great time. Last night he said he was very happy with the "new me".<P>Even with all these changes I've made to fill his love bank, my bank has been getting deposits in return.<P>It's working!!!<P>Now, I realize we still have a lot of issues to deal with, but he hasn't chatted with another W on the internet since last thursday. We're spending more time together. One step at a time.<P>I guess I just wanted to say that patience and preserverance are key issues to getting a marriage back in order. We could have continued leading separate lives, but this path is much better!!<P>It's been so good lately that I'm waiting for that step back, I know there will be plenty of them in the future. I'm just not going to let it get me down!<P>Patience, positive thoughts, LOTS OF PRAYER, and this website! Thank you all!!!

toots_007,<P>I'm no where near recovery...<BR>...but the book I think will help me the most when I get there is the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6010_give.html" TARGET=_blank>"Give & Take: The Secret to Marital Compatibility"</A> book.<P>I thought the explanation on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A> was best covered here! And I consider it the cornerstone of recovery and beyond!<P>Just a thought... <P>Congratulations!<P>Jim<BR>

Thanks Jim, I'll check it out!