I have been so tired lately, never catching up on sleep. Trying so hard to. I got off work today and went pretty much straight home and had a nap. I got a call, from Tam. She had broken it off with the OM and wants to give it a try. She doesn't know if it will work, but she wants to go slow. Dates etc.<P>You can read my other thread posted the other day and I feel like a load of bricks has fallen on my head. My friend came over and we talked, and talked. I am so lucky that she understands (she isn't happy but she understands). My marriage deserves this chance that I was hoping for 4 months ago. Our children deserve this chance as well.<P>I was stronger than I thought I could be, and I feel the tears. All the emotions I have gone through in the last 4 months are all coming back. I'm scared, I don't know if I could take the hurt again but too me it;s worth the risk. Deep down I have been waiting for this and I know that We can make it work. I know it. But its still scarey. I hope she wants to give it all we can.<P>What should I ask for, how should we proceed. I need advice, I need prayers and I need prayers. I still can't believe that I got the call. <P>My needs : #1 No Contact with the OM<BR>and thats a for sure before I even try to start. If I can have anything to help me, and not remind me this is it.<P>Just Me<BR>p.s. I am laughing, legs shaking, tears falling and sad - does that make sense?

Course your gonna be scared. Like putting your head on the chopping block & handing her the blade.<P>Don’t expect miracles overnight. DO NOT LOVEBUST! Give her a reason to want to come home.<P>Ask her what you think you two should expect (no contact, get tested for STD’s, how much a week will you talk about it all, etc.)<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

James....you have mail.<P>You'll be ok!<P>Lori

James...<P>Thank you for that poem...<BR>I replied back to it in my 1-year post with a little know fact about me.<BR>Yes... you made me cry...<P>Oh...<BR>I am <B>so</B> happy for you...<BR>You've gotten the call so many of us wish we had...<P>Please take it slowly...<BR>Tam says she broke it off...<BR><B>She will STILL be going through withdrawal</B> for quite some time.<P>Address any and all of your concerns in the most loving way possible...<P>Maybe give yourselves the first weekend as a "decompression time"...<BR>...let her know you aren't going to bring up the OM at all during this time.<P>Do hug her... (I would do that for my W...even with today being what day it is for me)<BR>Do hold her...<BR>Do show her that you've made he return... a return to more than a safe haven...<P>You've reach a plateau here...<BR>Suppress any feelings of hate...<BR>Suppress any feelings of retribution...<BR>Suppress any feelings of inadequacy...<P>God is blessing you with the return of a WS...<BR>She has been the prodigal W...<BR>Before she gets a chance to apologize...<BR>treat her as the prodigal son's father did!<BR>She was lost... but now is found.<P>If the emotions become hard...<BR>...don't run away from her.<BR>Run to her... and think a prayer for her.<BR>Let her be you sunrise!<P> <P>Jim

Give it all you have and you will have no regrets, no matter what happens.<P>And stay away from your friend.<P>(My H would love for me to take action on both of these pieces of advice . )<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{J}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

I do need advice,<P>She doesn't want me to move in, but start slow so I am assuming for the first while nothing changes in the living arrangements.<BR>I live in an apartment in the city.<P>I am guessing and planning on going out each nite to tuck the kids in. Maybe making a date here and there with the kids here in town since I can get a sitter easier.<P>Hugs?<P>I worry about us getting councilling right away, I don't know if she wants that or it would help yet. I get the feeling (im going off them at the moment) that she wants to<BR>feel this out before committing. Well maybe thats the wrong way of putting it, she just wants to go slow.<BR>Tackle the problems slowly.<P>Do you have ideas on how i should proceed being that<BR>we are living apart?<P>Does this mean I post on the recovery forum now?<P>It's like , I don't know. Woke up , read NSR's post and I start crying and I don't know why. I called my boss at work last night and am taking the day off. I just never expected this at all. Never in a million years... guess I lost hope.<P>J

Yeah, come on over to recovery...We'd love to have you. <P>Wishing the best...

Wow how ironic is her timing with your post yesterday?<P>Best of luck, but wow, proceed carefully?!?!<P>