I am feeling quite irrational here, tonight....<P>H and I are sitting here, reading and posting and of course, talking..............<P>in discussing various 'affair things', it came up that 'She-thing', she of the opinion that affairs were guilt free fun, actually asked h if he would bring kids to the park, and that she expected to be included!!!!!!<P>another time, she offered to babysit our children while H had to work.......<P>also that she would 'love to meet the kids' as she had heard they were so sweet and she was sure she would love them.......<P>she also brought up the fact that being a lesbian for the past 14 years, she had little opportunity to have children and missed that aspect of life.<P><BR>now, all this is in the past, and NONE of it ever happened......she never saw our children.....let alone interacted with them.<P>why am I suddenly in a rage......<P><BR>I suddenly want to go knock on her door.....ask her what the f$^k she was thinking..she has already acknowledged that H spoke of how MUCH he loved me and his family, how the guilt he felt about what he was doing drove her nuts.....that it was all for fun, she knew he really wanted to be with me,.....I have 30 e-mails from this woman saying all this crap....Iknow, I know......she's a cheater, a liar, not to be believed, blah, blah, blah.......<P>I feel as if she crossed another lline with these requests.........does anyone know what I mean....."o.k., you sc$^4ed around with MY life, you did the same with my husband.....I'll get through this...." but this is family now.....<P><BR>how the f$^^k dare she.......<P>I am really freaking out at how freaked out I am about this.......<P><BR>what is wrong with me......<P><BR>I want to strangle her with her own delusions............<P><BR>how the he$4 did she think H would explain her to the kids when she knew he was lying to me and keeping everything from me? I mean, the eldest is 8, he would want to know who the heck this was and where the heck was Dylan.........<P>and she thought she would be left alone with our kids?????<P>she knew H had a vasectamy......yet she talks about how he would be such a great dad......hello........he already is one ........you moron.......idiot......bimbo......brainless.......silicone wonder of the free world.....why is this woman discussing having children with him.......he can't......<P>I AM SO IRRATIONALLY ANGRY AT THIS STUPID, STUPID PERSON RIGHT NOW AND I AM HAVING ALOT OF TROUBLE UNDERSTANDING WHY, SINCE NONE OF IT TOOK PLACE.<P><BR>H made sure she realized that leaving me was not an option, but rather that..he was sure I would leave him, but he made it plain to her that he would tell me of the affair, and if I would keep him, he wanted to fix our marriage....she knew how he felt about me...............so why did she want to meet kids? this was all supposed to be just fun for her.........<P>its like she was planning a future.....this la-la land she was in just astounds me......<P>Dylan.....<P>why did<P>

I remember when the most terrible of the OW told my H that she would be happy to raise our children (he told me afterward, long after it was over). He said he stood there and thought, "oh my god, they already <B>have</B> a mother!" He said that it was at that moment he realized the reality of her.<P>I don't know if this helps, but stupid idiotic statements like that help to de-romanticize affairs...<P>------------------<BR>The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.<BR>-Carl Rogers<P>

It's OK Soulloss!!! <P>That's your Mom Primal Instincts coming out!!!! <P>Kinda scary though, huh?<P>I don't even have kids and I get that way about anything effecting children that would be negative!!!<P>It's been dubbed my "Warrior Princess" mode......Guess you're a Xena, Too!!!!<P>Or should we call you Elsie - protecting her cubs? LOl!!<P>You're a good person and a good Mom!!<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Hello Dylan and H-<P>I am here to blow your mind again! what if I told you the OW did watch my kids? As you know by now she was a very good friend of mine-or so I thought. Can you imagine how I felt when I knew that she had watched my kids for me as I watched hers for her? I work two days a week cleaning hosues for school teachers-she used to pick my son up from kindergarten and bring him by for me so I wouldn't have to stop working. Now ever damn time I go to work I find my mind going back to those days................and it hurts!!!! I worked yesterday and boy was I in a bad mood. I feel so tangled in my mind.....I want to hurt her twice as bad as she hurt me-but I don't want to hurt her at all. I want to shout to the world and all those who don't know about her other personality what a screw up she is-but I don't want to tell on my H for being so D-U-M-B. Every time I ahve negative thoughts towards the OW I realize I must have those same thoughts about my H. After all-it took two to tangle-they are both guilty of the crime. That is probably the only thing keeping me semi-sane.<P>Let it go Dylan-truly let it go-it was her wanting your man-but she didn't get him. The OW didn't get mine either-and I ahev already warned him of the fate he faces even if our marriage doesn't work and I ever------and I do mean ever----catch them having any contact. Talk about being unreasonable-but I would hang on to him just to see to it that she couldn't ever have him!!!!!<P>Yup-I am a b*&*%^&* nowdays-can't help it :-(((<P>Hugs to you both girl-you will make it <P>Wish I was brave enough to post my e mail here but I am not............... I would love to talk more with you.<P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<BR>"Loyalty Is A Two Way Street"<BR>

thanks.....<P>maybe it was the late hour.....not feeling quite so irrational in the ight of day......<P>would still LOVE to confront her and burst her delusional a$$.<P>LOL<P>dylan

Yep, Xena, Warrior Princess...<BR>That she is... even looks like her with her hair newly dyed... <BR>as for OW and kids, nevernevernevernevernever....<BR>(and anyway OW would have ended up pulling her hair out within 2 hours of being with them)<BR>Deut

you know, it really is funny.....<P>i feel like I started this journey (on discovery day) feeling like Gabrielle....for those of us that know of Xena.......you know, cute little sidekick.....the one everybody underestimates.......with Xena, you see what you get...you know this chick is gonna bust some chops......<BR>I prefer Gabrielle..I think....you never expect the beating or the words of wisdom you're gonna get from this little, cute girl-looking thing...and remember, when Gabrielle's child was the issue...Gabrielle beat the heck out of Xena.....didn't she...<P>Dylan.