My lying f@@@@@g B%%%% of a stbx lied to my kids. She and om are living together again. She said she wouldn't expose him to them and sure enough last nite when they were there he came in. She had told them he wouldn't be around till after they went to bed, but he came in before that because he was tired.<P>I found out because I had some problems with my son tonite and sent him to bed early and later heard him crying. He told me he didn't want me and the fill in the blanks stbx of mine to break up. Then he told me about om coming in and that he didn't want to see him.<P>I got so mad that I went to her work and waited till she got off and confronted her. I called her every name in the book till the security guard came over and calmed me down. As it is a hospital, there were a lot of cops around and of course a couple came over to see what the commotion was about.<P>They let me leave but took my name and I imagine my lic #.<P>How can this woman do thsi to her kids?<BR> I just don't understand? How can somebody turn 180 degrees and become just evil.<BR>

RWD,<P>CALM DOWN. She lied again - so what's new! SORRY!<P>I know you are angry and you have every right to be p!ssed off. But, you can NOT afford to go and get yourself arrested because of this. Please try to calm down. Your son is crying and upset - is he the one having trh birthday party this weekend? Things are BAD enough for these kids. ven though she is doing wrong things, you have to try to maintain your composure to be the strong and stable parent and good role-model. Obviously your S was upset and he needs to be able to DEPEND on YOU, and he can't do that if you are in jail!<P>The candle is still going....<P>{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}<P>That WITCH!!!!!!!!!!<P>Roll Me Away<BR><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

RWD -<P>BIG HUGS........now please calm down!!<P>She messed with the kids...I know - it is INTOLERABLE!!!!!<P>Monday you call the lawyer and tell him everything....your son's reaction, what you did, etc.<P>Find out about this restraining order thing that Jim (I think!! Sorry brain malfunction!!) has and see if you can get one also!!!!<P>For now - you HAVE to be as stable as you can imagine a person to be. YOUR KIDS NEED THAT FROM YOU!!!!<P>I know the instinct to strike when the kids get put in harms way.....it's primal!!!! But YOU HAVE to keep a grip on yourself.....what if you had gotten arrested? What if she got the kids because of it and those precious children had to live there with them?<P>That could have happened.....please don't react to her selfish stupidness so quickly....you must remember that you are the adult and she is younger than your son right now!!!<P>OK? This will be taken care of...RELAX!<P>Don't muddle it over and over in your head.....you have to get in the frame of mind for the BDay party!!!! Don't cloud his fun with this!!!<P>I know it's easier said than done!! But, what happened is past and you can't change it.....Starting Monday - you might be able to get some control over it!!! <P>Sleepy, only taller...(cracked me up BTW) is a loser who can't deal with his own wife......let them be losers together for awhile and see how far they get!!!<P>You don't have to lower yourself to their level!!!! <P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

RWD,<P>I saw this post first and will respond to it... but I saw your earlier post about the settlement papers... I'm very sorry for you...<P>{{{{{{{{{{<B>RWD</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>My prliminary "property settlement agreement" (as yet unsigned... and a few more changes to go... thank God)... sounds like a duplicate of yours!... I could be steps behind you...<P>My W did the same thing to me much earlier...<BR>Back in April... a few weeks after discovery... we agreed OM was not to be introduced to kids until summer break...<BR><B>She lied</B> in May... D's dance prformance had OM "playing" with her...<P>Again in June... at D's big annual dance recital... my and my mom's first encounter with OM... biggest LOVE BUSTING(from me) imaginable... I too was on the verge of being arrested! Bad scene!<P>Again in June... I'm on a business trip... when I call the kids (do so every night I'm on a BT) she says she's entertaining a guest... that b****** OM/sponge... who played daddy for the day! In my house... eating off my plates... in my dining room... watching my TV... playing with my kids!!! <P>All before summer break!!!<P>That's when I got a good attorney... got restraining orders on OM/sponge... no more entry into my house... no overnights with my kids... (I'm still trying to keep that in PSA.. unless they marry obviously. )<P>I <B>know</B> where you're at tonight...<BR>I've been there...<BR>I think... even today... with all I've been through... those incidents were the absolute <B>lowest of the lows</B>!<P>It's OK to cry about this one RWD...<BR>I cried myself to sleep those 3 nights!<P>Those damn lies eat at you too!!!<P>It was shortly after those incidents... I said these words to her too "Get away from me you Satan..." and "How did you ever become so evil!"<P>This was obviously before I found MB... but I can empathize with you on this...<P>Say a prayer...<BR>I'll say many for you tonight...<BR>...wait... I'm lighting a second candle...<P>God's going to carry you through this one...<BR>No ONE else can tonight...<P>Hey... you're not alone... remember...<P>With the pain fresh in my mind too... caring and thinking about you RWD...<P>Jim

Hey RWD,<P>I'm sure it made you feel good to do this, but you just shot yourself in the foot and have already probably realized that.<P>I am certainly not putting you down as I have done my share of handling things that when I completed, said to myself "There, that will teach her a lesson". The only one who learned anything was me.<P>There are many diplomatic ways to settle situations and come out not only looking like but feeling like a winner. I have a problem with my newfound emotions. I go off half cocked. I think things through, but they all make perfect sense at the time. Later on when the sane Medic comes back from a coffee break, reality sets in.<P>I had a problem with my first W and the guy she was seeing. I didn't want HIM around MY kids either. Thats another story.<P>Emotion are very raw and sensitive for you now. I was sorry to hear of the papers.<P><P>------------------<BR>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P><BR>

Well, I am calm, some what, today. My d had a bball game at 9 this morning so of course stbx was there. I took my MIL to the game and she sat with stbx. I sat by myself.<P>We left about the same time but didn't speak. She just looked at me with disdain.<P>I will not go to jail for her. For one, I am not violent and two, what that would mean to my kids. Although that would pretty much wreck their little love nest as she clearly doesn't want the responsibility.<P>Will be leaving for my S's birthday party here shortly, so will get to spend 2 hours around her. <P><BR>Boy, I can't wait !!!!!<P>RMA, I need a bonfire!!!!! Pray for me to lose thsi anger and bitterness.<P>Sheba, That's my biggest problem is getting things out of my head. They just seem to rattle around in there which ends up depressing me. The anger seemed to snap me out of the depression though! I guess that's one positive !!!!<P>Jim, Thanks again a bonfire is needed for me.<BR>I think it is probably too late to get a restraining order now as we are only 1-3 months away from the divorce.<BR>The funny thing is I didn't cry about this. I cried about the fight we had a couple weeks ago, but not this one. I really believe I was justified in this one.<P>Medic,<BR>Thanks for the support. I still think I did right. She is blinded by this affair that she cannot think about anybody but herself. She will end up appologizing, well maybe not that far, how about agreeing, what she did was wrong.

RWD -- Hang in there, my friend and be strong.<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>That's my biggest problem is getting things out of my head. They just seem to rattle around in there which ends up depressing me. The anger seemed to snap me out of the depression though!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><BR>This has got my name written all over it!!! Just so you realize you're not the only one.<BR>

RWD - missed you last night but I'm glad you're calmer this morning.<P>Try to be strong during the party today. For your son, paint on that damned happy face and keep it there. (I find it helpful to imagine various sorts of revenge and play them out in my head - amusing sometimes!!)<P>You already know what to do. Do not take the bait. Do not jeopardize your relationship w/ your kids for any of the witch and (I can't say that word!)'s nonsense!! It's just not worth it. Use all the restraint you can muster.<P>Hang in there, OK? You can do it.<P>Lori

RWD,<P>OK - so I will light 2 giant candles and a fire in my chiminea this afternoon.<P>HANG IN THERE!!!!!<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

I'm so sorry that your W did this. How disrespectful. Time to talk to that lawyer and do something about this. Hang in there!

Be sure to tell us how the party goes!!<P>I'm so sorry for your pain, and I think Medic made a good point. Don't want to be shooting yourself in the foot anymore!<P>You had a right to confront, just don't do it in the heat of anger, causes more problems than it solves.<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.<BR>-Carl Rogers<P>

RWD - Man, I can really identify with your anger. Think I probably would have done the same thing in that situation, even if it did get me arrested.<P>If it's any consolation, my W pulled an even $hittier trick on me today that nearly got ME arrested. By now, she knows that I sometimes go looking for her car when she's out and that I stake it out. Her nasty term for this is that I'm stalking her. I think she told her shrink about this (had a session Thurs.) and he advised her to send in the cops. So what does she do? This afternoon, she deliberately leaves and parks her car near the place where I told her I saw her and the OM. In fact, I was driving to work (where I am now), but did happen to pass her car parked there, and thought I'd just check it out for a little while. While I'm about to do this from the elevated train station I often use, I see a cop car coming like a bat out of hell. Since her car's gone by now, I figure, hey, it's time to leave. I got out of there before the cop arrived, and then watched him snooping all around the place, and later searching through town. Figured W had reported me and this was the result. I think she went and parked her car there just so I'd get caught. Isn't this called entrapment?<P>At this point, I realized the same thing you did. I'm not willing to get arrested for someone who pulls this kind of $hit. So let's both be a bit more careful in the future, eh my friend? And party on, dude. I'm sure going to. Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

Wex,<BR>My stbx says I'm harassing her everytime we get in a fight. She has a "friend" , male of course, that was/is a P.I. and he "advises" her on things, so I imagine he told her this could be considered harrassment. He even looked at the divorce papers I believe and told her they were okay. Good thing he doesn't know about financial matters!!<P>I've been half waiting to get a restraining order served on me. I suppose she will wait till the kids are in school on Mon if she is going to do that!<P><BR>RMA<BR>I can feel the heat from here !!<P>Thanks to all!!!!

My ex (1st wife) did have me arrested. Called me up, started freaking out on me, threatened my life... while I didn't take her threats serioiusly, I thought it was high time I stood up for myself and called the police. I even had a witness (Dylan was on the other line). Well...<BR>The police LAUGHED at me. LAUGHED!!!! They only agreed to call her after I insisted. I thought a call might smarten her up. No need to actually charge her, right?<BR>Well, the police did call, and guess what happened? <BR>A week later, I was presenting myself for arrest on charges of verbal assault. <BR>Apparently they did not laugh at her when she flipped the story.<BR>She placed a restraining order agaisnt me. I went 4 MONTHS without ANY word on my son. She finally agreed to let me talk to him, then claimed I had violated the restraining order.<BR>I was aquitted, after spending a grand on a lawyer, but there will be a scar there for a long time. I would have expected a low-down sh*tty play like that from her, but to experience first hand what we have in place for a criminal justice system here in Quebec makes me want to puke.<BR>Anyway, the moral of the story is BE CAREFUL!!!!!!!!!<BR>Don't do ANYTHING that will compromise your situation. If worse comes to worse, you may end up in court anyway and the more conniving of the sh*theads out there will make sure to set you up to lose. <BR>Don't expect fair play, from a spiteful ex and especially from the 'justice' system. If you expect any legal troubs down the road, keep VERY DETAILED notes of anything relevent. In my case, I was lucky to have recorded a whole lot of telephone conversations that would have supported my case. I shudder to think of what would have happened otherwise.<BR>Deut<BR>

RWD, Soulloss ex-H - Yeah, caution is definitely the watchword for us guys now. My experience yesterday made me realize that my W is willing to do just about anything to distract attention from her affair. So I've decided to stop completely staking out her car. I didn't tell her that I knew she called the cops on me, so she tries the same $hitty trick again today. She was really p1ssed when she got home, this time I suspect, because I HADN'T fallen into her little entrapment scheme. (I was actually having fun at home, imagining her sitting there, waiting for me to show up so she could call the cops.) I can just imagine what's going to happen when the lawyers get involved, but right now I'm sticking to a version of plan B and only communicating with her when I have to about domestic stuff.<BR>Soulloss' exH, your story scares me even more than RWD's because you were actually brought to trial. The moral of your story for me is, I'M sure not going to be the one to call the cops! R & B,<P>--Wex

Guys, <P>These days you can get arrested for almost anything. My H works for an elementary school (maint/custodial), and did you know that if a kid falls down and cries that he can't hold them, touch them, carry them to the office??? He just has to stand there until the kid moves or the paramedics come, because it could be seen as sexual abuse!<P>This is where the world has ended up. Gone are the days when you can punch a guy in the face for messin' with your woman. <P>Speaking of the old days, some days I would <B>love</B> to just stay home and care for my family. <P><sigh><P>Keep watching out for yourselves. Life is unfair and hard out there. For men and women both... didn't MENTAL do some confronting also, and end her butt up in jail. Life sucks sometimes. <P>------------------<BR>The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.<BR>-Carl Rogers<P>

RWD,<P>How goes it today????<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Yeah, RWD. You've been quiet lately. What's the scoop???