<BR>My best friend is getting married Saturday and I'm going to be her matron of honor (I guess that's what I'll be since I'm still legally married??) <P>The problem is I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. It's the day after my first hearing. I'm sure I'll be very emotional but I don't want to completely lose it. My friend told me that if it was going to be too difficult, she would just get her sister to take my place, but I don't want to let her down. We've been best friends for 18 years and she was maid of honor at my wedding. And she is going to try to be at my hearing for emotional support for me. <P>So, I guess I'm just asking for suggestions on how to get thru a wedding ceremony (without lots of Valium! )<P>Mitzi

Okay Mitzi, let's think this through...<P>If you are in the middle of church and your stomach starts growling in the middle of the sermon, do you get up immediately and go get something to eat?<P>Or if your kids are all in bed and you suddenly get this craving for something gooey but there isn't anything in the house, do you drag all your children out of bed so you can go to the store?<P>Of course not...this is delayed gratification and you can do the same thing with your emotions, put them on the shelf for three hours while you celebrate the marriage of your dear friend and do whatever it takes to make her day special and then afterwards, give yourself permission to take them off the shelf and have a good cry! You say you don't think you can do that but scriptures says you can!<P>2TI. 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.<P>You can focus on your friend, you can pray through the ceremony for your friends marriage, you can be grateful for being a part of it, you can focus on how you can support your friend....etc. etc. You are not denying your feelings, just putting them on the shelf for a little while to share in someone else's joy. <P>I will be praying for you Mitzi.

SueB,<P>You know, sometimes it just takes a person on the outside looking in to make things look clearer! Thanks! <P>As for the verse from 2Timothy, that can apply to so much in my life. I've always been a timid person. And I've known that I need to stand up for myself and be stronger but I've had a hard time doing that. <P>I'm going to try my best to be happy for my friend. And then when I get home, I will cry and get it all out of my system. <P>Thanks for the prayers,<BR>Mitzi

Mitzi,<P>If I can do it, you can too. Back in July my college rommie got married, and her sister and I were matron of honor & bride's maid (respectivly).... we were both going through the breakup of our marriages, and we did fine. The key is to focus on your friend and her happiness. Keep yourself busy.... do the last minute running, and then at the reception be the social butterfly.<P>Of corse, after the reception (cake & punch type)..... the bride's sister and I hit a local C&W bar and got .... um...... well..... we indulged in adult beverages !! Lots & Lots of adult beverages (thank goodness they had taxi service there!!!)<P>Good luck!<P>Thoughts & Prayers,<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>