How long does it take to get over being angry all the time? My husband left in june and I still am so angry at him. (my story in short; Husband of 18 yrs left after meeting 25 year old over the internet. We have four young kids 2-15 who are also devestated by this) I'm trying to help my kids but most of the time it's all I can do to get through the day.

how long? forever.<BR>sorry, im sad tonight.<BR>read nellie1's posts, she is in a VERY similar situation.<BR>whenever i get angry, i try to think of how this is affecting my 2 darling babies, and sometimes it can calm me down.<BR>you are in a good place. MBF has so many supportive, loving people, you will get some help here.

dumpedwife,<BR>I am probably not going to be very helpful, because my H has been gone for nine months and I am getting angrier with each passing day. At first I was more hurt than angry, but it is difficult not to be angry with someone who leaves and then blames you.<P>I wish I had something positive to say.

{{{{{{{{{{<B>dumpedwife</B>}}}}}}}}}},<P>Gee, I'm sorry so few responded to you yesterday... It was a crazy day... I had errands/obligations... and so many of the veterans were at cross-roads...<P>I remember your post...<BR>and I feel so bad for you...<P>I remember how you feel...<BR>The devastation is complete...<BR>The feeling like someone reached int your chest and liteally yanked out your heart...<BR>The utter helpless abandonment...<P>I'll never understand fully how a wayward spouse can do this!!! I understand the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html" TARGET=_blank>Dr. Harley's Basic Concepts</A> very well... but the effects on the betrayed and the family are so horrific!<P>On to you...<P>Yes you're angry...<BR>You have every right to be... it is part of the grieving process... and it will take some time. If you weren't angry... that would be a problem. Post again and ask the 'others' for some recommendation of "grief management"....<P>Two things they may suggest are...<BR>1. Counseling for yourself... I know that is hard esecially with young kids to take care of... Can you get some family support to babysit while you visit a counselor?<BR>2. Consider seeing a doctor to get some medication... anti-depressants... There is <B>no</B> shame in getting these! Realize that of the many things that may be "wrong" with your H... a chemical imbalance could be one of them...<P>We here talk alot about <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A and Plan B</A>... There is often talk about Plan P (Praying)... this, if you have some "faith" whether internal of through a more oraganized form of religion has helped everyone... every step of the way!)<P>One of the best things you can also do is Post here more often...<BR>Tell us more of your story... share with us...<BR>We're not here to pry... but to help!<BR>Let it all out here!<P>You really aren't alone...<BR>When I found out "I wasn't alone"... what a burden was lifted off of my shoulders...<P>You say your H found the OW on the Internet... my W was the same (chat room )... tell us all more... I have three kids (7,10 an 17)... I'm in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> because of some serious <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html" TARGET=_blank>Love Busters</A> I did before I came to MB... I will probably be moving to [/url]<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A> in Jan/Feb...<P>We will give suggestions... compare stories... and console you as best we can.<P>Prayers for you and your kids.... <P>Please keep posting... when you have time!<P>Jim<BR>------------------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 04, 1999).]

Time. Sure, five or six months may <I>seem</I> like it should've been enough time (okay... I've had enough of this already!!) but it really isn't. It's been nearly a year since my stbx moved out; about 7 months since I filed. I'm still angry sometimes, but I think that the reasons for my anger change. Nowadays it's mostly because he's left me with all the responsibility (which I pretty much shouldered all along) while he's out enjoying the life of a teenager - at age 38.<P>I find that it is easier if I stay busy (and busy is what I've been at work!) I've talked to several people who've been through this and most of them tell me that they basically dove into their work.<P>He told me a couple of months ago that (in his opinion) it would take my finding someone else to "recover" from all this. At least I have enough sense to know that is the last thing I need. <P>Try not to get stuck in the rut. I know it's hard, but you've gotta do it. You've got kids, so I imagine you know about "redirection". Same concept, it's just harder to do it for yourself and your kids at the same time. Take care.<P>------------------<BR>Bobbie<P><BR>