Yesterday was really a downer for me.<P>I took all four grandchildren to Sunday School and Church. Our son's 3 kids acted up so badly that we had to leave before the sermon.<P>I told my H that I felt the kids really needed to attend church, and that I needed him to go with me, since they're all too old for the nursery. His reply? "Don't be telling me what I need to do." GRRRR!<P>Then, we went to my brother's for a family get-together. I went outside to tell H and son that the food was ready. H said, "I'll decide when I'm ready to eat." <P>Then, a little later, we were talking about some people whose child got killed on a 4-wheeler last year. He said that they had a place in nearby county. I said, "Yes, but I think they lived in _______, because the little girl's grandma moved there to live near them." He literally sneered, "You're probably right. You always are..." <P>Then, on top of that, I've been dealing with some very hurt kids this weekend...especially the 8-yr-old. I went to kiss and hug him goodbye, and he told me to leave him alone..that he hates me. Then, he told his little brother not to hug or kiss me. That just did it. I walked out to our truck and bawled. H brought the 8-yr-old out there to tell me he was sorry. I don't want anyone forcing the kids to apologize. Anyway, I told Justin that I love him and would do anything in the world for him and wanted him to love me. I told him that he didn't have to love me, but I would appreciate being treated with some respect. Justin did hug me and tell me he was sorry.<P>Then, on the way home, H proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't have told Justin that he didn't have to love me. H said that I should know that Justin didn't mean it. I told him that I was in a funk anyway, and that the deal with Justin was just the last straw. He asked, "What do you mean?" I LB'd and said, "Well, I just feel like somebody else has been totin' his @$$ on his shoulders, and I don't know why." He said, "Are you talking about me not wanting to go to church and not going in to eat?" Well, DUH!!! That just reinforced my feeling that his hateful remarks were deliberate. Anyway, H proceeded to tell me that I was too "damn fragile" and that I need to get over it. That he wasn't going to kiss my @$$.<P> It looks as though he's always going to think that if he meets my needs, he will be kissing my @$$. Thanks, but no thanks!<P> I am now back in the mood where I just really don't care if we stayed married or not. I have actually been trying to figure the most economical means of living on my own and how to get our bills paid off.<P>Cafe Woman was supposed to have been going 4-wheeler riding with a bunch of our friends, and we couldn't go because of my family dinner. Now, I'm wondering if that has anything to do with his attitude. I've also been wondering how many times in the past he's been 4-wheeler riding when she was there (the times when I was told it was "guys only").<P>After we got back home yesterday, I folded some clothes, and decided that I would leave the house for a while. Wound up at my girlfriend's house. She's having man troubles, too, plus going through a hard time over her nephew's murder. We commiserated over her beer and my wine. I finally got back home at 9 pm. H caled me right after 8 pm, wanting to know when I was coming home.<P>Now, he's back to acting like nothing ever happened between us...conflict avoider, anyone? Well, not exactly...he has no trouble creating conflict when he wants to pitch a fit, but he doesn't want to face up to any conflict in regard to my feelings.<P>My ol' taker seems to be out in full force! <P>Thanks for letting me vent!