I'm hurting. I'm sitting in work doing nothing. I'm just out of it. I don't like myself or what I've done. I've disappointed everyone I know. I have nothing at this point. No wife, no home, no living with my kids, no OW. Lower than low. I was with a friend yesterday, and he said out of all the guys we'd grown up with, he was absolutely amazed that I was the one who'd have an affair. That is probably the opinion of all my extended family and friends. My W gave me a form to fill out so we can meet with a Mediator for a formal separation. This hurts. My W is truly calling what's hers is hers. She doesn't want me around the house at all when she is there. She wants me to get set up at some place where I'm comfortable, but I can't afford two households. On the weekends, I currently eat at bars where there are free buffets. I'm the guilty one and I'm truly at a low point in my life. I'm venting.

I truly feel bad for you because in some ways I'm almost in the same situation. I too am sitting at work having a hard time concentrating. What hurts more your wife's rejection or the departure of the OW? I know the combination of the two is heart wrenching. Anyway, I don't have any sound advice because I can't figure out how to get out of this dark place either. I really do hope things ease up a bit for you. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are human and you made a mistake. How can you expect your wife to forgive you if you can't forgive yourself? <P><BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by CMan:<BR><B>I'm hurting. I'm sitting in work doing nothing. I'm just out of it. I don't like myself or what I've done. I've disappointed everyone I know. I have nothing at this point. No wife, no home, no living with my kids, no OW. Lower than low. I was with a friend yesterday, and he said out of all the guys we'd grown up with, he was absolutely amazed that I was the one who'd have an affair. That is probably the opinion of all my extended family and friends. My W gave me a form to fill out so we can meet with a Mediator for a formal separation. This hurts. My W is truly calling what's hers is hers. She doesn't want me around the house at all when she is there. She wants me to get set up at some place where I'm comfortable, but I can't afford two households. On the weekends, I currently eat at bars where there are free buffets. I'm the guilty one and I'm truly at a low point in my life. I'm venting. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

I can't offer you advice, just wanted to say thank you for sharing that and hopefully other betrayers might realize that this is the devastation they may face when the betrayed spouse moves on after the affair. I mean move on by divorce. I wish you could find some peace today.<P>Do you miss your W more because the OW is gone? I am not familiar with your story, but curious how you came to miss the family, was it before you lost the OW or after??<P>Prayers, Dana<BR>

There is still a small thread of hope to restore the marriage, hence the reason that I broke off with the OW. If the OW was still in the picture, no chance at reconciliation. Sure, I miss the OW, but I miss my family/wife more. When my 6-year old daughter asks me not to cry when I leave, I'm junk. What made me turn the corner and drop the OW? Maybe it was some of the sound advice I received here, some at work, plus being outside looking in, maybe the effect of the Celexa, maybe it was the combination of it all which brought me out of the clouds. The question remains, is it too late for reconciliation? Time will answer that. Meanwhile, I'm down for a while.

{{{{{{{{{{CMan}}}}}}}}}

CMAN-<P>You know this would not feel so great, right? A separation is not the end of the world. Even after a separation, to get a divorce takes 6 months if you have kids.<P>THERE IS A CHANCE! Just put yourself into that goal! You have time and a good amount of it. If there were absolutely no chance in her mind, she'd go straight into the divorce. Separation is just that, time to think it out, it's a breather. Believe me, there is a chance. Knowing what I went through, which was a LOT of hell, I didn't want to jump straight into divorce either and if he had shown me any remorse or been even slightly truthful, we have a different situation now. Don't push her - win her back, you did it once, do it again. I think she wants to be won back. As for the OW, she doesn't belong there and never did. She is not a quality woman, slept with a married man with babies at home (!!), she's not the one who gave her years to you and gave you children. Men must think that is a little thing to bear children, but to us women, this is an awesome life changing special thing we all intend to do for only one man. She did an awesome thing for you and wants to know that she is appreciated for the sacrifice of her time and body for you. That still means she'll have to do her part to get the marriage back to healthy later, but one thing at a time. Right now, it's your move. Don't blow it. <P>God Bless!!

Weirded out,<P>6 months for a divorce? In Ga. it only takes 30 days from the day it's filed. Yikes! Seems like a short time for something as important as marriage and divorce, especially where kids are involved. All you have to do here (in Ga.) is go to some child psychology type class. They tell you the signs to look for if your child is depressed. It just seems too easy, doesn't it? <P>CMan<BR>Sorry you are feeling so low. Believe me, I've been there. I'm the betrayed, and I can tell you, I have honestly never felt worse than when my H chose OW over me. I have pulled through...you will too. Just keep Plan Aing all you can.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Ya! 6 Months! I live in Michigan. I cannot believe they would have such a short time especially with children involved. On the other hand, I have to sit here in limbo until September now. It's almost too much for me and gives him time to stew and get nastier. At the beginning of this, he was willing to give me anything to keep the kids taken care of, but now the OW is putting in her two cents and tearing my family apart even more than she already has!<P>Anyway, CMAN, used your post to reply. Still want to encourage you. Your family needs your strength. You'll look back later and be glad you gave it the time and effort it needed. The OW would just be a lifetime of pain for you.