For those of you who do not know my story, a brief update.<P>H is having a online affair with Ow, she is divorced or in the process.<P>H has met her once, she lives several states away.<P>She loves him, and H loves her, and says he doesnt love me.H asked me for a divorce in nov. H has been actively looking for someone to date on the internet and finally found someone who didnt care that he was marrie<BR>d.<P>H left me for 4 days in jan.<P>Recently I quit school to be with him more,and after i quit school he tells me he was only staying with me till I finished school.<P>We have 2 boys 14 and 16. H says that if we divorce they will get over it.<P>I am in plan A,and counseling with Steve by myself. I am on a anti depressant, and anti anxiety drugs.<P>This has been the hardest thing I have ever done.Every day I wonder whether he is going to leave me. Is he staying till after company comes and goes next weekend.Will he stay till our anniversary (april 18th), till his birthday. Will he stay until OW moves here?<P>I have A hard time at work sometimes because I am in such emotional pain.Thanks for letting me vent.My prayers to all the FS's,and to Jim on this day especially.beth

Beth,<P> I'm so sorry for your pain. But look at the facts. He hasn't left yet. I came to the conclusion that my H is one who is looking for the easy way out and won't be the one to say he wants a divorce. It was a releif to me not to be worrying about it all the time.I really feel I will have time to work on this. It seems like it has been awhile for you to. Can you try to think of it that way and at least rid yourself of one worry?<BR>Lora

Lora,<BR>Perhaps that is what he is doing,maybe if I get some rest I will feel better.Been at this for awhile, I went from being completely in the dark, to learning more and more about his affair. Learning small(but shocking) amounts of information at a time.Got to go, working on Plan A today, domestic support.Thanks for the suggestion!beth

I'm so sorry you're in pain also. My H also was actively looking for someone on the internet, and actually met a couple of people. All the people he has been conversing with live in our area! When I finally snapped and confronted him, he said he was dead inside and was looking for something to excite him. He felt that we had nothing in common anymore and were leading separate lives. We talked on more occasions, I said I would change and work harder - he said he didn't want to try anymore and didn't feel that we were compatable anymore sexually.<P>Well, I could have given up then, but decided that while he was still living with me, I would plan A him to death, and keep a positive attitude. <P>It has been working! He doesn't spend as much time talking on the internet anymore (actually, hardly any time) - and hasn't had any physical contact with these OW (of that, I'm sure). We spend one night a week together, just the two of us doing something fun without kids, and I have made his home life as peaceful as possible (even with 2 kids, ages 4 & 6!). The change has been remarkable, but I know I'm not out of the woods yet.<P>Please, don't give up hope! You must remain positive and stick with plan A. Don't think about when he might leave. Think about how you can make him happy while he is with you. He hasn't left yet! If he was so unhappy, he could have left long ago.<P>By the way, these ***ches on the internet didn't even ask if my H was married, and he didn't say he was. He won't go to counseling, I've been to a counselor one time. I've gotten most of my information from this website. <P>Keep the faith, and LOTS OF PRAYER. You can do this!! <BR>

toots,<BR>He wont let me make him happy. right now he is asking for distance, he sasys everywhere he turns i am there. I have not physically been around for years due to school and working .Now iam only working.<P>I look forward to the day that I tell H I love him,and he replies not as a friend but as a lover.Keep in touch toots.thanks for your words of encouragement!bethn