Hey Gang,<P>Well Val just left. We spent 3 hours together talking about everything from her classes to divorce. Absolutely no LB's from either of us. I new world's record!<P>The good news is that she doesn't want a D. She said she would always consider me her H. I told her I didn't want to be considered her H, I wanted to BE HER H. She said she was too many bad memories to come back right now. [key words: right now] I suggested that we try dating to replace some of the bad with good/great times. <P>She is agreeable to that and suggested we do something every Friday afternoon. She kept saying she had to leave to go to her sisters to go shopping, but, that was for the last hour and a half. I couldn't get rid of her!<P>We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more and cried some more. Many I Love You's with much sincerity from her. I said some too, but didn't really mean it. RIGHT. I feel much has been accomplished in those three short hours.<P>Thanks to all who have sent prayers, good vibes and best wishes.<P>I guess Blutto is right. Say it fat man!<P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Tim and Val<BR>sitting in a tree<BR>k-i-s-s-i-n-g<BR>first comes love<BR> <P>aaaawwwwwwww.....you know the rest.....<P>giggle, giggle..... <P><BR>glad to hear you had a great afternoon...now you can have that ice cream next friday!!!!!<P><BR>((((((((((((ZIPPY)))))))))))))<P><BR>Dylan

Woohoo!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>She said she was too many bad memories to come back right now.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>Did she elaborate? Bad memories with you or of herself or the last few months?<BR>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A><p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited April 14, 2000).]

YEAH!!!<P>Dating sounds like a great start...<P>Have fun!<P>Kathi

WOW!!!!!! This is wonderful. I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy for you.<P>I hope to say the same thing for me someday, but today I feel EMPTY. I can only feel sorry for myself!!!!<P><BR>But I am happy for you.

<B>Medic</B><P>I had to expose myself as the lurker I am for this one. <P>I am so happy for you and Praising the Good Lord for answering all our prayers the way we all hoped he would. <B>Our God is truly and awesome God!</B> <P>Thanks for sharing and making my weekend. <P>Wow oh wow I am really flying high with this one. <P>Hip Hip Hurray!!!!!!!!!<P>------------------<BR><B>God bless you and all of us. We are all going to make it, all of us! With God on our side we can't lose! What God has joined together let no man put asunder. <P>Samantha</B><p>[This message has been edited by A blessed Samantha (edited April 14, 2000).]

YEAH BABY!!!!!!!!<P>Way to go Medic!!!! You get an ATTABOY!!!!!!!<P>I'm with Chris.....anything she say give you a clue as to what more you can work with to add to filling her lovebank?<P>I am SOOOOOO HAPPY for you....DOING THE HAPPY DANCE!!!!!!<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba<P>PS - So, where you going Friday afternoon for your first date?

PTL <P>Ok buddy now like Lostva say take it slow.<P>You and Val can take me to linch next month.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

One baby step leads to another and before you know it you will be off and running. However, take a word of advice from the expert no pushing (I am the expert pusher)<P>I know how hard it is not to keep pushing because we want this nightmare to end so when they start to show that they are interested well you know the rest. I am trying very hard not to push, just enjoy your time together, no questions just have fun. (I will try to follow my own advice) <BR>I think it is great news.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Tim<P> I'm sooo happy for you!! :<P>My prayers for you and Val will continue. Like everyone else has said...Take it slow and PRAISE GOD for the babysteps. I swear that was one huge step!<P>------------------<BR>"If you can learn from the mistakes of others, you won't have to make them youself."<P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

hey!!!!<P>no fair......<P>Tim, if you and Val take Bill to 'linch', I wanna go too!!!!<P>is linch far from Quebec?<P>do I need to pack a lunch?<P><BR>Dylan

Yes...<P>It's the dreaded Jim...<P>...but I'm with everyone here ths time...<P>...if you are ready to move back to <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>!<P>There is no crime to move back to <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>... no retribution... no slaps on the hand...<P>If it's good for you...<BR>...that's all that counts!!! <P>Honest... <P>Just understand for yourself the impact of OM if he is still in the picture...<P>You are a very intelligent man...<BR>...as well as being very respectable... <P>I honor your judgement above everyone elses...<BR>...especially mine...<P>And... <B>I BELIEVE IN YOU</B>!!! Friend!<P> <P>Jim

<BR>YOWZER, WOWZER!!!!!!<P>This is MOST wonderful news.<P>Now, I know you already know this, but....<BR>Please, take things slow. Remember, you are dating her, that's all right now.<P>Plan A her, show her the great self improvements you have made, respect her, and most of all, love her.<P>Tim, I am so happy for you. This is God's miracle. Trust in Him to give you the patience you need.<P>Never say never........<P>God Bless,<P>Cheryl

Hey Guys,<P>Today has just been incredible for me! Major breakthrough.<P>Yo Dylan,<P>I just had a sampling of kissing today. The ice cream would be a great idea for me to replace the bad with the good. Ice cream trips were always good memories even if the ankle biter Squiggy comes along. <P>Forget the line about the baby carriage though. Her heart problems.<P>Hi Chris,<P>The bad memories were from me. Sadly I admit. I turned into such an [censored] and treated her badly. It was the ugly alcoholic side of me. I drank to get away from the problems. I didn't know what I had until it [she] was gone.<P>Hello Kathi,<P>I know she is afraid that it will go back the way it was. I tried to tell her that we were both miserable the way it was and would not even suggest reconsiliation unless there was a definate change made. I asked her to give me a test drive and move in for a week to see the change. She said she would NOT just move in for a week. Dead give away, she really wants to come back for good to a guaranted new improved Tim. I suggested dating and she agreed.<P>TT, <P>Sorry to hear you are down. I was there many times myself. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Not all times it is a train coming your way. Hope you feel better tomorrow.<P>Ah Sam,<P>What can I say? Looks like you were right. Doing anything July 22, 2000? I'm taking it slow but would really like to renew our wedding vows. [not you and me, Val]<P>Sheba,<P>Thanks for the attaboy. This time I really deserve it. Is this a naked happy dance like Lori does? The puppy would be so proud. Oh, wait, he was char-broiled.<P>I think it will be the ice cream deal first. I told her there is so much I want to do and share with her. I will get that chance.<P>Bill,<P>Taking it real slow. Can you believe it? Three hours, straight talk, shooting from the hip, no BS with no LB's from either of us. I made a connection with my "Bunches" today. One I should have made a long time ago. It's not too late for us. Not too late for anyone.<P>Pal, if it's not too far we'll take ya to linch next month. Is that near Pittsburgh? [sorry, smart a$$ coming out in me] I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight. Very hyper.<P>Hey Di,<P>Yep, backing off and taking it slow. I didn't ask her what she was doing this weekend. Don't want to force myself on her. I couldn't believe it, I said the right things at the right times. ME! Imagine that. <P>Jamie-Lee,<P>Thanks for your continued prayers. Everything just fell into place. I had a good feeling going into this and prayed and meditated before I met her. I asked that I would be able to say the right thing at the right time. <P>Dylan,<P>I believe that linch is in the western part of Pennsy. You better pack a few lunches. It may take us a while. We'll have to take Val's car. I don't think 4 adults can fit in my Z.<P>Jim,<P>The only way I would perceive you as the dreaded Jim is if you were bringing me the final D papers.<P>I think it is time to go back to big time Plan A. The stage is set. <P>She asked me if there was anyone I wanted to see or date. I told her yes. She asked if the person was a nurse. [Medic thing, like women in white] I replied No. She continued, "Well what does she do?" I said She is a dental assistant. [Val's position]<P>We talked matter of factly about Brian and I believe that I over estimated his importance in the past. It's either that or she is coming out of Fantasyland. She believed that I was seeing someone because I am a man and need sexual release. No, with the depression I don't even think of it. I replied that I knew she slept with Brian because she is in her prime. [29] She denied same and I really believe her this time. There is no need to lie anymore. Said they only go out to dinner, movies, stuff like that. <P>I was very happy that she really doesn't want a D. The added bonus was agreeing to date her H.<P>When she was getting ready to leave her body language was screaming for a hug. I waited and held my arms out. [skinny as they are] She held on so tight! She is still so soft and cuddly. Still my Valerie.<P><BR>Friends, I want thank you one and all for being there for me in crunch time. I would certainly not have made it this far without each and everyone of you. I hope you rejoice with me in this moment because you made it happened with all your care, concern, prayers and best wishes sent to me. <P><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Cee Cee,<P>Didn't mean to leave you out. I was writing a novel. So much to say.<P>Slow and steady wins the race.<P>I met her at Pizza Hut. We had very little to eat. Both of us very nervous.<P>She started with her standard "It's been a year" [seperated] I replied "No, it's been 13 months and I have grown so much and have found so much love for you that was buried." She started to cry. "Please don't upset me" I told her that I don't want to make her cry or hurt her anymore, I never wanted to do that. She said we could talk after lunch.<P>She didn't want to stay and chat in the parking lot. We played that game before and the manager kept coming out to see what was going on. We were there for over an hour last time. I suggested the house.<P>When she came in a flood of emotions hit her. This has been her home for 12 years. Things just fell into place after that. Yes, I'm babbling like a brook. I believe that I have that second chance and will not blow it this time.<P>Thanks for everything Cheryl.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Tim

Tim,<P>I just got here....<P>YIPPEE!!! YIPPEE!!! YIPPEE!!! What more can I say????? <BR> [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<P>Mitzi<BR>

Great news!! Just keep up the good work and on that positive road. While I want to re-emphasize what everyone else is saying,,slow,,easy does it, baby steps and so on,,,,,just remember,,your spot has been reserved on the Recovery Board!!

Medic,<BR> Things are looking up!How about a date with her in the backseat of an old Chevy at the local drive-in,just like the good old days?!<BR> --Murph

<B>YIPEE!!!!!!!</B><P>Hi Ho, Hi Ho.... it's back to Plan A you go!<BR>With loving thoughts and lots of cards....<BR>Hi Ho, Hi Ho.... on lot's of dates you'll go..... Hi Ho Hi Ho Hi HO!~<P>Ok, so I can't carry a tune in a bucket... I like to sing when I'm happy! <P>BTW, I thought Linch was in Tenn. If you happen to have lunch in Linch, watch out of the lemonade... I hear it's got quite a bite to it!<P>Thoughts & prayers,<BR>B<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

(((((((((((TIM)))))))))))))))))<P>It is sooooooooooooo gratifying to see Plan A/Plan B tactics WORK! Both on your own personal growth and that of your relationship with VAL. You have remained constant and it is starting to pay off! Maybe the following days will be more like the kiddie coaster at the fair, with gentle ups and downs. Keep up the good work and keep us informed!<P>Beth