Hi, everyone. I'm been suffering in silence tonight, living through this awful stage where my W is slowly withdrawing from the OM. It is SO painful, as you all know. I want so badly to have the love that was once mine alone -- it hurts so badly to be so close to my life partner, and feel such a wall between us -- such an absence of love and warmth. But an analogy just came me, and it helps, so I thought I'd share it, and see what you think.<BR>Think of a gardener, whose pride and joy is a beautiful, warm flower. He tends to the flower daily – lovingly. Over time, however, his attention is turned elsewhere. He turns inward, becomes preoccupied with himself, leaving his beautiful flower to fend for itself. One day, quite by accident, he glances outside, and realizes the weather has changed. It’s winter. Cold winds are blowing. And he suddenly remembers his beautiful flower. He rushes outside, only to find it dead. Lifeless. The door locks behind him, and he is alone in the cold. He is overcome with despair and anguish. His pride and joy is gone. No more flowers – no more warmth.<BR>What should he do? He is tortured by pain and despair. How could this happen? What can he do? <BR>If he rushes to the plant, covers it with fertilizer, waters it, trims it, nothing will happen. In fact, in the dead of winter, such treatment may very well kill the life that rests inside. He may get angry, dig up the plant shake it, try to force every last bit of life from it, in a vain attempt to rekindle it’s color, it’s beauty. <BR>The wise gardener knows that his flower is not dead. It may look cold and brittle, but inside is the seed of life. Winter has descended, and he must face that winter alone. It will be long and cold, and he will long for comfort and companionship. But all he can do is wait, and protect it as best he can from the harsh elements. He knows that deep inside, the seed of life awaits. In it’s own due time, spring will return. The sun will warm the earth. Small buds of life will appear. Slowly, lovingly, he nurses the flower back to life. Slowly, but certainly, time and love will win the day. The gardener that knows this secret will once again feel joy and happiness from this delicate, beautiful creation. The gardener who lost all hope, and tried to cheat nature by watering and fertilizing and trimming and digging up his plant will kill it long before the warm winds of spring can return…<BR>

That was especially nice to read tonight. I too am feeling lonely. I so miss the man I love and yet feel anger at what has happened. In my case my H is not even living here. I see him when he sees the kids or talk to him when he calls. <P>I would really love one of his typical (up until November) hugs in the morning. I haven't even really seen him smile since then. <P>Anyway, thanks for the beautiful analogy!!!!

That, to put it simply, is BEAUTIFUL...<P>Thanks<P>Mercy

Hang in there, tootrusting...this is as tough as it gets. And remember, there are many out here going through the exact same thing -- myself included...My thoughts are with you tonight...<BR>

Hey Guys.......<P>I am here right along w/ya.<P>First week-end w/out my children..... <P>Doing ok.....tho........I know that it will get harder as time goes on.<P>Hang in there.......Gina<P>

DD,<P>Hang in there! Stay strong! There is hope. I am a betrayer myself. The withdrawal liked to have drove me nuts!!!!!!!!<P>My H actually told me tonight that he hated that it happened. But, he was kinda thankful to the OM. THat he really opened his eyes.We are building a marriage now that we never had before.<P>Prayers<BR>Renee<P>------------------<BR>