Thanks for your replies!! It is particularly hard to be in "nowhere land".<P>I have been a stay at home mom for 11 years. As I think I've mentioned, I allowed myself to be talked into it by my H's arguments for my staying home.<P>Now, I find I've been replaced by someone who works closely by his side for many hours a day. He now says we never communicate and I don't understand him like she does. Well no wonder.<P>I am trying very hard to be self critical and think of all of the things that I may have done to contribute to this, but if he doesn't see what he's done to contribute to this like being a workaholic and spending all of his "good" time with her then I feel like I'm doomed.<P>What's worse is my kids have been just as blindsided. He was very involved in our lives....meeting us at extracurricular activities, doing homework...going out to lunch and dinner...sitting down to family meals.....reading at night etc. ANd then BOom, after a week long business trip with OP he basically fell off the face of the earth to them.<P>They have been devastated by this. They are afraid that I will leave them too, because by all outward evidence he appeared to love them very much just like I appear to now.<P>He says he was "pretending" with me. He just didn't know it. Yet he says he cannot remember much of our marraige. Including being intimate. How can you know you were pretending if you don't remember??<P><BR>The thing that really gets me is OP. I warned him about her. I actually expected this from her because she bragged about being his office wife and bragged about other wives she made jelous. I never expected it of my H because he always told me he loved me. He was very affectionate and conciderate.<P>Of course, now it seems she may stay with her H. ANd my marraige is a bust....with my H thinking he lost the love of his life while the four people who have loved him unconditionally have been tossed away like day old bread!!!!! Go figure.<P>Anyway, I know it's not over till it's over, it's just hard when things seem to be going good and then seem to have the door slam shut.........

I guess this is the blind leading the blind here, I don't have any solutions eider, however, I can tell you two things, I also warned him about OW, and he took her side immediately, believing anything she said. <BR>One thing I do know, don't blame your self, it's NOT your fault, as he may try to make you believe (so he can feel better about him self and her).

I just wanted to say that I also warned my husband about the other woman. He treated me like I was an evil, jealous, insane woman for even suggesting such a thing! Told me she was just like the little sister he never had, blah, blah, blah.<P>He actually made me feel guilty for suspecting they were having an affair. Of course they were.<P>I guess it is like Viki says about men- you can't live with them and you can't kill them!<P>Peppermint