HI All,<BR> I called my W today just to see how she was doing and we talked for about a half hour about work, the kids (in their 20's)the IRS (we have had problems with them for a while) and basically nothing. She had her "really sweet" voice going (the one that she KNOWS melts me like an ice cube on a wood stove!!) really a nice conversation. When I hung up I had a REAL uneasy feeling for some reason so I called her back. When I told her I did she said I had no reason to have an uneasy feeling and that it was probably just talking about the IRS. <BR> She then went right into talking about the divorce she filed. W told me that she just got the papers back from her lawyer. She assured me that although her SNAKE lawyer wanted her to get me to sell the condo and split the equity, go for half of the 401K plan and other things, she told him NO WAY that she didn't want anything and was VERY CAREFUL NOT to say "I don't want anything from you" she stopped to rephrase it so it didn't sound like that. <BR> She told me she just wanted me to know because she didn't want me to think she was going to "hurt me" in anyway during the divorce. I told her nicely that the VERY thought of it hurt me. She said I meant by taking things and making me move. She said "I think I'm being pretty good about this don't you?" " I want us to always be friends" <BR> We ended up talking about the reasons we spilt up. She mentioned that when we talked about separating that I had said that I may have just married her to "Be Married" I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT!! I did say it I remember!! We were in withdrawal and I guess I was trying to hurt her. <P> There were "mild" tears on both parts and we BOTH mentioned how we had learned things about ourselves that we never realized since we separated. She realized that she needed more "quiet time alone" and I realized that when I get insecure in a relationship I pretend I don't care about the person anymore. (she had told me that she felt I didn't love her anymore BEFORE the EA started and that I WANTED out so did TWO other women I was involved with that I've called since all this to try and "figure" out myself) We talked about some of the things I/We said during the withdrawal period that we never meant. She said that she hasn't been herself (going through menopause) all in all I got to say a LOT of stuff where as before, she didn't want to talk about US, it was too painful.<BR> <BR> <BR> Well, I FINALLY got her to agree to go to lunch with me tomorrow. She said "Only as friends though" I said that was a start and that MAYBE someday we'll be more again. W said "I don't think so" I asked why, She said, "Because we get along so much better now and I want it to stay that way". I assured her that we wouldn't talk about anything "heavy" and just have fun. <BR> The good thing is that she's coming here and she'll see our place all fixed up (one of her problems with "US" I never got anything done) She won't recognize the place!! <BR> My question is, is it possible that the ice is melting? If so, will it melt in time to stop the divorce? I asked her if this is what she really wanted and she hesitated and said "Yes, it is because I don't want to take anymore risks" ??????? She said (before) she was afraid that if we got back together, "We'll just end up like we were before, fighting!" <BR> I guess I just need some feedback PLEASE!! THANKS GOOD LUCK AND PRAYERS FRANK<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>

Ok, I'm waiting......<P>You never know...remember when I got the "we make better friends" speech??????<P>What does your heart say?<P>Luv ya,<P>lori

Good luck....I do not know if the ice is melting. I heard the ole "we can be good friends" speech many times. I don't want to be just friends....I want to be his wife.<P>Follow your gut feeling. You know her better than anyone else. You must be doing something right...so keep it up.<P>I wish you and your wife the best<BR>Nancy

Frank,<P>Nice to see you back on the boards again. It has been awhile since I've seen you post.<P>I don't really have much advice but, it does sound like she wants to be friends and that could be a good start. Who knows? <P>Let us know how lunch goes and what she thinks of the place. <P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

Lori,<BR> Well, my heart says this is good, BUT I just talked to my sister and she thinks she's just setting me up for the BIG KILL!! I REALLY hope she's wrong.<BR> Nancy,<BR> I think all the cards and letters I've sent<BR>in my plan A may be working... we'll see I guess.<BR> HI Nicole! <BR> Ya, haven't posted because there hasn't been much to say. I needed a break and just snuck away for a while. Ya, friends is a start since before she said she had a lot of anger towards me. She couldn't cope with it. I just hope she doesn't blow me off tomorrow, she trys to stay away because I DO get to her and she gets a little WEAK in her quest to end this. Hope all is well for you. thanks to all and I'll LYK haow it works out. GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK<BR><P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>