hello all,<BR>i know it's been a few weeks since i posted anything... for those that may remember my situation... he's still here and he's still talking about leaveing...and i've told him to just go if he's going to talk about it...but he won't leave... and he's still talking to his ex fiance'.... and now my dad just went in for surgery yesterday... and he's 5 hours from me and i can't be with him or my mom to comfort them and also now my ****** job is going down hill and i can't find anything.. and we're behind on our bills and now we can't even afford christmas for our kids...<BR>i feel like i want to lock myself in the basement and never come out!

Okay, first things first...<P>Prayers for your father! You can't help it that you can't be there, so NO guilt for that, okay?? I am so sorry for your pain there.<P>Your children's Christmas: this is one of those times that it's gonna help if you can open up and tell people. Do you belong to a church? A club or group? Ask at the children's school... go to the Mall, often they have a Christmas Tree for needy children... anything for your kids, you know??<P>Your job. It's the worst possible time to look for work and my heart goes out to you. Awful. Work on the other first, and keep your eyes and ears open. This is a toughie that can't be solved with pretty words. I'm very sorry you have to get out there and beat the pavement right now.<P>Now, the marriage. Tell him you don't want to talk about it any more. Too much stress. You're both there, try to show each other as much love as you can, and skip making any decisions until after the holidays. For your kids, you know??<P>Again, I am so very sorry for your pain. Lots to deal with right now, huh?<P>I'm sending a big hug... don't hide in the basement for too long, your children need you!<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.<BR>-Carl Rogers<P><p>[This message has been edited by new_beginning (edited December 04, 1999).]

Sheryl is so right! You can only handle one thing at a time and at this time you need to prioritize and decide what is the most important. <BR>It sounds as though things are just overwhelming you all at once. That was a wake up call to me and I started spending some serious time just praying and putting myself together. The local Lion's clubs also help kids with christmas, don't look at it as charity-look at it like God is looking over you and your kids.<BR>Don't let him drive you nuts, just ignore him right now. You don't need to play mind games, just be yourself and remember to not love bust. Sometimes the betrayer says things in anger not really meaning it, you don't know if he's just playing or not so try not thinking about it too much, it won't do you any good to let it absorb you completely. <BR>Remember we are all here for you! God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>