Hey Gang,<P>My H is struggling still with the big decision and figuring out the risks associated with our marriage vs. relationship with the OW. Recently Airheart brought up the old post from Mickey65 about the book "Private Lies" and my husband read her excerpts. He is a very logical and concrete thinking type of guy, so some of the stats. and other info. about affairs sparked an interest in possibly helping him through some of his turmoil.<P>My question is for those who've read it, was it helpful, hurtful, will he think of it as another biased view of affairs and all the fantasy stuff? He already ordered it off the internet, but I'm just curious about the contents.<P>He says he is able to look at things more objectively now, which is very good, but I don't want him to get hurt more or be too hard on himself, which he already is.<P>Any insight is appreciated. Thanks.<P>Jenn<P>------------------<BR>

Jenn<P>I have read the book from cover to cover. I have also highlighted the meaty bits so that if my wife ever reads it she will be able to save herself a lot of time by getting straight to the point.<P>The book gives a great insight in to the mechanics of affairs throughout various stages of marriage, ie short term 0 - 2yrs, medium term 2 - 10yrs and long term marriages 10 yrs +.<P>It also goes through the various types of affairs and gives a thorough explanation with case history examples.<P>The book isn't really biased in any way but there is a section which warns betrayers of the likelyhood of there affair developing in to a long term meaningfull relationship.<P>To sum it all up, for a logical person (which you say your husband is) there is enough evidence to indicate that affairs are not worth the time and effort due to there instability.<P>I would recommend anyone who is being unfaithfull read it. Just be sure there is no fog around at the time though.<P>Hope this helps.<P>Regards and best wishes<BR>Fairenough