Question... We live in somewhat small city. H works at a car dealership, so everbody knows everybody. IF my h wanted to end this with ow, and I do say IF, would the humiliation of what hes done stop him because EVERYBODY knows???<P>H called yesterday, he always asks how I am doing. I say fine, great, whatever... He always says o.k.. He asked about the papers (divorce) I told him I should be getting them in about a week. Asked about the mail, he comes and gets the bills out of the mailbox. Said he'd be here later on to pick them up. <P>Called me on Mon. to get some medicine he needed, thats been in the mailbox since Mon. hasn't picked it up.<P>I have not called him since I don't know when. I won't.<P>Don't you guys think he almost HAS to go through with this because everybody does know??? Just wondering...<P>Tracy<BR>

It makes it harder, but not impossible. Robert took PT to ALL family functions and holidays, started taking her to OUR dr (drove an hour, I don't know why), introducing her to everyone. That's a big hurdle for them when they change their minds.<P>But, he did change his mind, and he's home and we're doing well. He had to face people and EVERY SINGLE ONE has told him how smart and courageous he is!!! He was so tentative at first, telling folks he was home, now he wears it like a badge of honour!!!<P>Yeah, makes it hard, but it's managable!<P>Lori

Forgive my synical point of view here but you are using logic and it doesn't apply in cases like this. Not that I don't do the same thing, God knows I do! But I am remembering when my own H was first beginning this now 2+ year old affair. I found out only days after it began. Then it continued on for weeks after. Once I learned of its continuance, I made sure others knew about it...significant others meaning people that he cared about how they would think of him, ie; his family. <P>So I told them, they got upset, they lectured him, they pressured him, he vowed to be a better person, went through all of the MB exercises, did alot of reading along with me, lots of lengthy discussions with "openness and honesty", policy of joint agreement, etc etc etc.<P>...he continued his affair for the next 2 years just the same.<P>They are in a fantasy and the best we betrayed people can hope is that the "discovery" assists in snapping them out of it. Though they don't come around completely and fully right away, it is a beginning that we hope for. <P>But to wonder if he "has" to do anything? No, the betrayer need do nothing at all.<P>Just my opinion.