Well I never thought I'd be be confused ever again but now I am starting to 'think back'. I feel very strongly that my marriage will survive and be more loving than ever (if you have read my last posts - I explained it more there). But....<BR>I ended the affair.<BR>I ended all contact.<BR>I am focussing on my marriage and my H 100%.<BR>I didn't have to see the OM because he quit.<BR>I thought I would be okay.<P>Well...I saw him last night at our Christmas party (he was invited because he had only quit his job a few weeks ago and had already paid for the dinner). I had no idea that he would be there. I didn't even 'wonder' if he would be there. The thought never crossed my mind. Then I was sitting at the table with a few other co-workers and my husband and... he walked in. I noticed right away but my H didn't. My H didn't pay much attention and there were so many people there that he didn't see him until the dance started. My heart dropped. All the feelings and thoughts of him came rushing back. I felt it and couldn't breathe. Why does this happen? He went alone and we didn't talk at all but I really wanted to. Now all I can think about it him. I think about the things we talked about, the looks he gave me, and the 'one time' that we shared, etc. It set me back a bit with my H because now we are a little reserved from eachother today. Will this go away? <BR>

brynn,<P>It is clearly stated in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A>... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Permanent separation not only helps prevent a renewal of the affair, but it is also a crucial gesture of consideration to the betrayed spouse. (page 55 of SAA)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>...and... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Without total separation, marital recovery is almost impossible. (page 56 of SAA)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>...and... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Marital recovery cannot begin until withdrawal has ended. (page 68 of SAA)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>...and... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>The pain of total separation from a lover is great at first, but eventually comes to an end, and marital recovery can then begin. (page 70 of SAA)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>...and most of all... <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>Any</B> contact with the OP by the wayward, sets the wayward's recovery time back to the beginning. (page 73 of SAA)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>This concept is hammered over... and over... again!<P>Yes... It(your feelings fo the OM) will go away... over time... but... <B>all</B> contact must be eliminated!<P>Strength and persistence....<P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...