I don't really know what it is that I'm hopeing to find here. Maybe answers that can't be given, maybe just a little emotional support. Anyhow, I'll try to keep my post short. We've been married ten years, H has had about as many affairs. I, for some reason, continue to stay. The last affair was last April. Technically he was having two at the same time. One he was seeing on a daily basis,she was also married, the other he claims to have only had a one night thing with. ( on my birthday of all nights. ) He flirts constantly, doesn't seem to really have anyrespect for anyone. But He says he wants to make our marriage work. We have separated several times, but can't seem to stay away from each other. We separated about a month ago, and it was wonderful. We actually talked laughed and got along. He moved back in and it the same old thing again. We have agreed to go to counseling but are having trouble finding one that we can afford.One of my biggest obsticles is that he won't talk. About anything that matters to me. We had a convo. the other night and he told me that he just really didn't care anything about talking about "feelings", like it was a dirty word. Or we have moments when things seeem to be going well, some little monster of a memory creeps up on me and staba a knife through my heart again and I guess I react wrong. ( I make hurtful comments to him) Maybe we just need to get away from each other permanitly. I don't know anymore. I'm not sure this marriage is worth saving. I know I can't do it alone, and that seems like all I'm doing. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated!

Your husband sounds like my dad. Faithful to each of his wives (he had five) up until the moment he said "I do". Then it was open season. As soon as you are split, he is nice to you again.<P>Anyway, for low-cost counseling. Do you have a university or college near you? Often, as training, you can get student counselors at no or low cost. Also, many community based organizations offer low or no cost counseling.

I am in a very similar situation. My husband does not know what loving someone means. He just takes the love I have and enjoys it. Then he also takes any love he find out there and enjoys it just as much. I have been married for 12 years and did not know about his adventures until Feb. 14, 2000. I have been devastated. He is just fine, I can hear him sleeping soundly at night while I am suffering from anxiety attacks over the possibility of ending my marriage which has meant so much to me. I have two kids that love their father and that keeps me trying. He is not even hugging me or kissing me at night. It is very difficult to look at the future this way. My advise to you is to separate and do not get back until he sees counseling for a long while. He cannot be the husband you need because he has nothing to give you. Think about old age when you need support and help, he is not going to provide it. You may laugh at his jokes but believe me that is all you are going to get. Since you love him so much, I am sure you love yourself too. Think about what is good for you at once and run as fast and as far as you can. I promise to stay until the end of May and every day is a struggle. I feel I have been adoring a golden statue and as big as a treasure it may be, I really need a "real companion."<P>Please be strong.

I failed to mention that i also have two children, that are very confused by what is going on. I just can't seem to get over it, (as he says). I really just don't knowwhat else to do.He says he wants to work on our marriage, then he tells me the other night, that he just doesn't really like or want to talk about 'feelings'. I've done just about all I know to do.