I sure hope you have a great family law attorney who is an advocate for children. You need one that is on the list of the court to appointed as a guardian ad litem for kids in custody disputes. Next best is a specialist in domestic violence and abuse cases. These are hard to find because there is not a lot of money is helping abused women and children.<P>hugs (((((((Nancy)))))))!<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

Do all of the following<P>1. Call your attorney and find out if you are prevented from taking the girls to ABUSE counseling, not just counseling.<P>2. Tell your attorney about the principle incident. Have your attorney write the principle.<P>3. You take the girls to an emergency hospital if you see any physical signs of abuse. They will document it, and it will not be up to the judgement of an officer to decide if it is abuse. If there are physical signs, there is your proof. The doctor is not going to call your stbx and ask him for his side of his "smoothy" story.<P>4. Tomorrow is Thursday, and you do this tomorrow. Don't waste anymore time piddling around waiting for the "system" to serve you. You must serve yourself - within the law.<P>TNT

Nancy<BR>(Kallie is speaking softly & gently) What do you mean fair to the children? What is "fair"? Also I'm worried about when you said you wished you could dissapear... <BR> You know how to use the internet. Get out and find someone somewhere with an abuse shelter place. Like I said, I don't have 1st hand knowledge of this, but I've seen places on t.v. Never stop searching.<BR> I'm praying for your children that they grow up fine in spite of this. <BR> Hugs,<BR> Kallie

I don't know what I mean anymore. I don't want the girls to grow up one day and be sorry for all I did or didn't do.<P>This is very complicated....I know....for a fact... that he is abusing them, and it just kills me inside.<P>Sometimes I wish that they just would not tell me......It's like I get so angry and frustrated....because I can not do a damn thing about it.<P>Believe me....I have tried. I went to CP.....my old attorneys.....the Custody evaluator.......the GAL.......the school....prosecutors....nothing. This is a bunch of bull. Someone out there has to care besides me. These girls are so f*cked up that they can't see straight....they HATE their dad....they cry so much....the youngest has "bathroom" problems.....they are both having trouble in school....the list goes on and on.<P>I talk to them about everything.....their feelings...their fears......their hopes etc.<BR>I listen and listen......give plenty of hugs and also try to keep structure in their lives. It is very hard to keep structure when you have no idea when they will become so upset that everything needs to be pushed to the side for a long talk and hug. Sometimes our youngest falls asleep during homework.....and sometimes I don't have the heart to wake her up. She is depressed....he weight has gone up.....her grades down....she has trouble finishing assignments in school and the teacher will NOT let her bring them home.....so she has to stay in for recess everyday just to finish them. She begs not to go to school and cries almost daily about going.....she dislikes her teacher and says that she is always screaming at her.<P>I have to go....I am getting upset and tearful....<P>Nancy

If your children MUST stay at that particular school.... Then get yourself over to the school and talk to your children's Principle TOMORROW.... You need to set up a meeting with him/her and the teachers and the school counselor. I suggest that you take your children's other counselor with you.. <P>Did you find out if she contacted the principle yet? You have to follow through with this... Your children's teachers need to understand what is happening in their lives and WORK WITH your children. THAT IS THEIR JOB! Do not let them intimidate you... these are YOUR children... Has your H brainwashed the teachers too?<P>Also, I think you should pay random surprise visits to the school before, after and around recess time and that will let your child's teacher know that you are watching what is going on... as other concerned parents would. If they do not make an effort to take care of your childrens needs.... Go to the School Board! <P>You have to listen to your children when they tell you what happens. You are the ONLY one who IS listening to them! You cannot hide from it... or you will be giving into him... just like everyone else does...THEY NEED YOU!<P>Keep talking with them.... let them vent... be there for them... You are their only support right now....And DO NOT GIVE UP! Keep searching for help...<P>Hang in there and be strong. You have many sources of support here... Sorry... I got upset all over again... Praying for you and the children....<p>[This message has been edited by Lacee (edited April 27, 2000).]