I know weekends are slow. And you guys keep telling me to focus on my marriage and not to worry about anything else. Well, the day was going good until....... I went out to get the mail. Brought it in and sat down at the kitchen table. My husband happened to be standing at the kitchen sink. I said this is nice...<P>The mail said:<BR>Happy Birthday<BR>To the Office Whore<BR>You think you are almighty and sneaky, but we know the truth -<P>Now, how can I possibly focus on my marriage totally when this person will not let up or give me any rest.<P>I am thinking of taking this to the director of my office and telling that there have been others. This is beginning to be harrassment. My husband said that I could resign on Monday if I wanted to. I am not sure what I should do yet. I am a bigger person than this.<P>Sure, what I did was wrong. Adultery is wrong. But this person is mean and cruel. And given enough rope, I think they will eventually hang themselves.

Susan, someone is going way overboard, I would be slightly frightened except they don't really have enough courage to face you and say these things. <BR>Could it be the wife? Or maybe someone jealous of you. The thing I would ask myself if I were you at this time is if I could live with this and if the answer is no then get out. <BR>I know I wouldn't want someone chasing me away from my job just by being this rude, but I would if I felt my safety was in jeopardy. God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>

When the W of the OM sent annonymous hate-email to my job, they required that I file a police report. The police said that although it was hateful, it was <B>not</B> threatening. I think you're gonna have the same problem. I think I might still make a police report. You don't have to say who you think it's coming from, but it opens something up that can be added to if this continues, plus if it suddenly got worse (GOD FORBID)or becomes threatening, the report would be there already.<P>Geez, this is terrible, horrible, gawd-awful. I am so sorry, and my stomach turned for you when I read what the card said. <P>What are you going to do?<P>~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.<BR>-Carl Rogers<P>

I don't know yet, but it really hurts.

I am taking today to process all of this. I don't know what I will do tomorrow. I don't know if I will talk to the director or not. I am hoping the answer will become clear to me. Please pray for me.

I'm praying, Susan... and I don't know WHAT to tell you!<P>You want as few people as possible from work involved in this. Maybe resigning is the best choice. It would end everything <B>right now</B> I bet. But... like me, I'm sure you want to make sure it's not "cutting off your nose to spite your face"... whatever you do, I say DON'T SHOW THIS TO THE OM... it will only muck up the works worse than now! It will either make him run to her and get mad, or come to your aid, both of which are not the outcome you want or need right now!<P>Please write later today and tell us what you decided!<P>Love you, ~Sheryl<P>------------------<BR>The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.<BR>-Carl Rogers<P>

Susan,<P>I am sorry this is continuing. This should make you work on your marriage more. As I said before, it is an opportunity.<P>As for dealing with the office situation. I have no concrete suggestions since I don't know the environment of the office you work in. Is the director sensitive to harrasement situations? Is there something the director can do if you do inform him/her? If you resign can you get a good recommendation from the director? If you told the director would that influence the recommendation? If you simply told the director that you were being harrassed by someone in the office and felt the need to resign but that the subject was person. Would you get a good recommendation?<P>Finally, if it is OM's W it really isn't an office issue. She may be trying to distance you from her H. Leaving would accomplish that and it would be good for both of you.<P>Susan, I know you are feeling down, guilty, and more than a little teed off. This isn't the end of the world. As they say, "the best revenge is a live well lived." Make the best of it and live well. You will come out the winner.<P>God Bless You and Your Family<P>JL

Thanks to everyone. I still cannot come up with a final decision.<P>Just Learning...That is exactly the problem, without a name or proof there is nothing that the director can do. She is familiar with the office situation and has been supportive in the past. She has told me to leave nothing open for question, which I have followed. I was just thinking that if it is an office employee that she should be informed. I was thinking of telling her that both my husband and I have been receiving letters that we consider harrassment and what can she recommend. The letters indicate that it is someone in the office, but that makes me think even more that it could be the OM wife. I was thinking that the office employees would hopefully not be so brazen and would try to remain more annonymous. If it is the wife of the OM, there is nothing that she can really do. BUT (and a big BUT), we all do work for the same medical facility.

Probably the easist solution would be to quit and start over with a clean slate. But if you feel you cannot do that, maybe there is something else you can do.<P>I would imagine these are coming with no forwarding address. If you get something like that, don't open it. Ask your H to open it to make sure it isn't threatening or escalating towards violence. If it's simply hateful, then just have him toss it aside. That way, you don't have to read it, and it won't upset you as much.<P>How is it that everyone in your office knows your home address? Where I work, that's something that's kept confidential. If it's not where you work, then you should mention that to your director. Lastly, you should also have your phone number and address unlisted, so that they do not appear in the phone book. Something that won't help you now, just future reference.<P>

Is there any way to look at computers at work (one in particular) and discover if a doccument was typed and printed there without it being saved? Thanks

Susan,<P>Some software automatically makes copies of documents. And I am not sure but there are some printer logs made. However, I don't know if the remain after the machine is turned off. Of course there are finger prints on the letter. So I quess you could go for those.<P>Cannot help much. However, your facility must have a computer guru who installs and maintains the software. They can tell you the answer to your questions based on teh software installed.<P>Hope this helps.<P>JL

(to the top)<P>Any more input?

Susan -- Depending on the word processing software used, some of them take periodic automatic backups while a document is being worked on. You have to be careful in most cases to look for the temporary file <B>before</B> restarting the word processor, as the temp files are often cleaned up each time it fires up. Also, if you have lots of time, an "undelete" program could be used to locate these temporary files as well as a not-so-temporary file if it was saved then deleted later....

Susan,<BR>I do think you should inform you supervisor of what is going on. That is very uncalled for. It's nobody's business but yours and your H's. If you report this, then maybe there is something your work can do to help stop it.<BR>Viki