My H + I have been married for 15 yrs. he told me about his affair[that lasted 3yrs.]I`ts been a month now an it`s been like a roller coaster ride,one minute were on track the next were not last week it was going o.k. until Sat. I had to much to drink and I spilled my guts out again to him "I`m still hurting" but he doesn`t seem to see this, he said he broke it off with OW I do believe that, he tells me "It looks like you need your space" NOT I need his love and attention more then ever now and it`s not there. We have two kids 14 and 10 Nothing is the same any more the kids know about the affair. I said such bad things I should not of said but it felt GOOD He says he`ll leave and he won`t come back. Should I let him? Should I kiss his [censored] some more?? Yes we made love, but now I feel that is wrong cause thats all we have going and thats not enough.I have no one to talk but you guys no one else knows but his mom and she`s not getting in the middle of it. He`s leaving this Sun. for training school for 5 weeks out of state I think I`ll die. Maybe marriage isn`t what he wants. If he leaves he will probably go to OW house. Sorry so long on this I need to vent.He won`t tell me her last name bacause he thinks i`ll talk to her or say somthing "It sounds like he`s protecting her" she knows where we live though. Thats O.K.... Thats all for now...

Torn...<P>I feel so sad for you. My wife's in a 3 year affair and is ready to leave me and my teenage sons too. I found out about it 2 years ago but trusted her when she said it was over... well it wasn't and now she's ready to go.<P>2 years ago I did ALL the wrong things ALL WRONG. I was weak and cried and was mad... every love buster just drove her to OM arms.<P>This time, I'm not sure how, I've found strength. It feels so much better when you can search your soul and not feel like it's all your fault. We all make mistakes in marriage, we all take each other for granted. But you did NOT do anything to deserve this.<P>Best advice others have given me is to focus on YOU... rediscover the good and caring person you are and find strength in that if you can.<P>I still lose it too, it's so hard... I had a very bad love buster night Friday night. W and I went to a movie and had to drive by the OM house... nearly killed me just seeing the house.<P>Hang in there, hang around here. Cry if you need, yell if you want but do your best to understand his addiction right now... It's NOT fair but all other actions just drive him to her even more.<P>Hugs<BR>

Thanks TexasMan,<BR> I feel I am driving him back to her arms I think I will see how weak he is. It kinda proves he doesn`t care about me after all. I need more affection and according to everyone else going through this there not getting anything back we have to do all the work It`s NOT FAIR!!!!!!