HELP! I need advice on how I should confront my husband. He has been involved with another woman for about a year. He claims that they did have sex once, but he stopped because of me. I do not believe him. My problem is that although we have been seperated for a few weeks, I have allowed him to sleep with me. I know that I probally should not let this happen, but we have such a great physical relationship. I feel that I am able to express my love for him and it gives me so much hope. Last night I noticed that he has a rash on his penis and the first thing I thought of was he used a condom. Now I know I must not let him sleep in my bed until he has stopped seeing her. I just do not know how to talk to him about it without pushing him into her arms. I truly love him and want to forgive. Please, how should I handle this? What words can I use to let him know how I feel? I do not have any hard evidence of how involved they are. My gut instinct tells me that he was with her this weekend. Should I bring it up? I hope that someone responds soon. I am in so much pain and turmoil. I find it very hard to function normally. Things like cleaning the house, fixing meals, and communicating with my children (they are 16 & 13)are so, so hard.

I've had sex with my H while separated, some people can't bear the idea, others find it does re-establish the connection. However, it is smart during a separation to use a condom, especially if he has a rash. There are life stealing diseases out there, no matter what a "saint" the OP is/has been. You have to take care of your health...he may not realize what jeopardy he is putting you in if he's living in the fantasy world of an affair. If he's admitted to being with her once...that's all it takes. Furthermore, go to the doctor, get an STD screen done.<P>I know how much the betrayal hurts and how scary it is to realize that you have to deal with these issues. But there are plenty of people on this board who have picked up STDs from their spouses, including me.<P>Take care of YOU.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

Odie,<BR> This is your health. He must go to a doctor and be treated... sounds like herpes.<BR> Do not worry about hurt feelings at this point. This is about your health. Now this, herpes will *not* go away just because he stops sleeping with OP. He must be tested and treated. ASAP. The doctor will want to take a tissue sample (while the rash is *present*), to test for the std. At this point, it is the most available test.<BR> Do not continue to have sexual contact with him, until you know and understand all of your options and risks. You must think of your health.<BR> Mynabird