Hi guys its me Missy9 (aka Mystic77).<P>I apologize to everyone for all my constant threads but for some reason today I feel completey hopeless and you all give me hope.<P>I just feel so incredibly hopeless with my situation. I feel like my h is never ever going to wake up from the fog he is in. It's been about 3 months since he left to go live with ow and I just never get any clues from him that he regrets it at all. <P>I feel after 19 years together I know him better than anyone. But, I do not have a clue as to who he is today. We used to be so happy all the time. We were the social couple. Always entertaining other couples with game night at our house. He use to laugh all the time.<P>What I just can't accept is how he can just throw all that away and not show an ounce of concern for me. Since he left, Valentines Day, My Birthday and Our Anniversary and Easter have all passed with out any acknowledgement. Well on Valentine Day he did get me a card saying he is sorry for hurting someone he loved and he regretted it. It was one of those hallmark cards that was already written out. But that is it.<P>I rarely see him or speak to him anymore. I can't do Plan A because I don't get the chance. We usually communicate thru the kids passing messages back and forth or thru brief e mail. <P>Can anyone give me encouragement? On average how long does it take for the fog to lift?? <P>I know my h loved me and its been said that when you truly love someone, that person will stay in your heart forever. My questions is why can't he show it. <P>DO you think OW could be putting pressure on him to stay away from me??? I heard she is very possesive of his time and calls him non stop on his cell phone all day long. <BR>Thanks!<BR>

I don't know how long it takes. Your H has been gone longer than my W. I start to see little cracks occasionally.<P>I can relate to the calling constantly. My W spent some time at my house with the kids, watching a movie. OM called three times in an hour on her cell. Wonder what her bill is?

Remember Missy, I didn't have ANY contact for WEEKS!!! None, nada, zilch, not even an e-mail.<P>I plan A'd when I could with him, ALL the time for myself!!<P>Hang in there, Hon.<P>Lori

My W left on the 1st of March and you are right Plan A is tough when that happens. She has now moved to a small town about 10 miles away and it becomes even harder but I still am able to leave cards, poetry, candy, flowers etc. in her car on a regular basis. I am fortunate that she wants to spend some time with my D and I to show our D that we both still love her. I made a few baby steps recently but those may have been erased because long distance OM was her for almost a week. None the less there were a few small signs that Plan A was working. <P>If your love is still there and in fact building like mine is then you have to be creative. Try putting a post on asking what other W have Plan A their H. I'll bet you find a lot you can do. I once just asked her if we could have lunch together only because I missed her. I gave her a simple little angel pin, card poetry and song. She would not read it then because she new she would cry. We then talked and laughed about nothing and there was not one hint of a LB. You will never know until you ask.<P>Keep trying if you can take it. This site is full of success stories that were in the same or worse shape as you!!<P>All my Love and Prayers!!<P>J W

Missy9,<P>I don't know what to say but it sounds like you need a (((((((HUG))))))))!!!!!!<BR>Just lettin you know that I'm here and I'm listening.<P>Hang in there and just love yourself!!<P>Reina