So here's the latest update.<P>Yesterday we had a long coversation. Much crying for both of us. Larri is very confused. I asked her (among many other things) is the path she had chosen was in the best interests of the children. She said "probably not." The new me was very good, on big LB's.<P>So today, I gave her a letter that really spelled out what I wanted for us. Thank you all, if this were a paper for a class, I would have failed for plagarism. We were talking about her diving class (OM is a diver) and she said that it was very hard and she needed to go home and study. I told her that she would do well, because she always does well at anything she tries. She said no, I don't. I asked her to name one thing that she didn't do well. She hesitated and then said "you and me." I almost started bawling right there.<P>She called me later to coordinate dropping off our daughter. Asked her if she had read the letter. She said it made her cry. She could not believe some of the things I said. Restated that she had not done a very good job with us. S***ty was the word she used. I told her that I hoped she would be willing to try again and do better this time (sometimes I can't help but push a little). Told her I didn't need her to respond right now, but to think about it.<P>Then she drops Samantha off. Says to say hello to my kids (by my first marriage). She misses them and thinks about them often. She doesn't know whether they want to talk to her.<P>I have started telling her I love her again. I also have started kissing her (little pecks) when she picks up or drops off the kids. I asked her if that bothered her. She said it was wierd. But she actually kissed me first this morning. No I love you's yet, but it is still early.<P>We are meeting tomorrow night (almost tomight) to try to get the divorce finalized. Hopefully no trial. We don't have that much stuff, so it should go pretty easy. Just a bunch more stuff to put in the custody agreement. I probably shouldn't have interned at a law office. I have 6 pages of clauses to go over. LOL<P>I think that I may get what I think I want. Half of me is afraid she won't come back. The other half is afraid she will.<P>Ain't love grand!!!!!!

GP:<P>It sounds as though things are going great (all things considered) with your wife! I'm very glad to hear you're on the up swing of the old roller coaster.<P>One thing I am not clear on (and if I missed it in another post I'm sorry), do you really need to proceed with the divorce paperwork right now? Could you just drag your feet a little? I mean, it shouldn't be too hard to just stall a bit with six pages of clauses to go through. It's easy to roll along the same path once you get going, and if you really don't want a divorce there is no need to work on it very dilligently.<P>Either way, good luck to you! --HBC

The $64,000 question rears it's ugly hed again. I ask myself this every day. Now, I guess that I would not have to go through with it, but I feel that I need the protection from her irresponsibility. But on the other hand (how many hands will I have when this is over), I have the protections of the temp custody order. I could live with that.<P>I really don't know what I want. I'll know more tonight.