Thought this would be good if you have never seen this...was in the Dallas Morning News today...with an accompanying article. You can read it at <BR> <A HREF="http://dallasnews.com/lifestyles/73422_RESCUE05.html" TARGET=_blank>http://dallasnews.com/lifestyles/73422_RESCUE05.html</A> <P><BR>Number 1-62. Write down "true" or "false" for each question. <P>1. I am satisfied with my sex life. <BR>2. My partner doesn't really listen to me. <BR>3. I trust my partner. <BR>4. I feel picked on and put down. <BR>5. I am hopeful about our future. <BR>6. It is not easy to share my feelings. <BR>7. My partner often says, "I love you." <BR>8. Sometimes I feel rage. <BR>9. I feel appreciated. <BR>10. I am out of control. <BR>11. My partner is there for me in hard times. <BR>12. My partner is harsh in his or her criticism.<BR>13. My partner understands me. <BR>14. I fear my partner is bored. <BR>15. My partner doesn't like to share what's on his or her mind. <BR>16. I imagine myself divorced. <BR>17. My relationship is what I always dreamed of. <BR>18. I know I am right. <BR>19. My partner treats me with dignity and respect. <BR>20. My partner is a taker. <BR>21. We often do fun things together. <BR>22. Sometimes I just want to hurt my partner.<BR>23. I feel loved. <BR>24. I would rather lie than deal with a problem. <BR>25. We still have a lot of passion in our relationship. <BR>26. I am trapped with no escape. <BR>27. My partner thinks I am fun to be with. <BR>28. Our relationship has gotten boring. <BR>29. We enjoy going out on dates alone. <BR>30. My partner is ashamed of me. <BR>31. We trust each other a great deal. <BR>32. We have become nothing more than roommates. <BR>33. I know my partner will never leave me. <BR>34. I am no longer proud of my body. <BR>35. My partner respects me. <BR>36. My partner constantly compares me to others. <BR>37. My partner still finds me desirable. <BR>38. We just seem to want different things. <BR>39. I am allowed to think for myself. <BR>40. I feel crowded by my partner. <BR>41. I am honest with my partner. <BR>42. People have no idea what our relationship is really like. <BR>43. My partner is open to suggestions. <BR>44. My partner has shut me out. <BR>45. My partner is my primary source of emotional support. <BR>46. I feel judged and rejected by my partner.<BR>47. My partner cares if I am upset or sad. <BR>48. My partner treats me like a child. <BR>49. My partner puts our relationship ahead of all others. <BR>50. I'll never satisfy my partner. <BR>51. My partner wants to hear my stories. <BR>52. I chose my partner for the wrong reasons.<BR>53. I look forward to our time together. <BR>54. My partner thinks I am boring in bed. <BR>55. My partner is lucky to have me. <BR>56. My partner treats me like an employee. <BR>57. I win my share of disputes. <BR>58. I envy my friends' relationships. <BR>59. My partner would protect me if necessary. <BR>60. I am suspicious of my partner. <BR>61. I feel needed by my partner. <BR>62. My partner is jealous of me. <P>Now go back over your test and count all of the even-numbered questions to which you answered "true." Write down the total. <P>Now go back and count all of the odd-numbered items to which you answered "false." <P>Add that number to your "true" score to get your overall score. <P>A score above 32 indicates the relationship is in danger of failing; 20 to 32 indicates serious trouble; 12 to 19 indicates a relationship is above average; below 11 indicates a relationship is above the norm.<P>*****<P>I scored a 32. Looking for a spark to rekindle here at home...but the matches are wet and there is no dry wood that appears to be around. <P><p>[This message has been edited by NoMas (edited May 06, 2000).]

NoMas,<P>This was an interesting article, thanks for posting it. <P>Seems my marriage is 'in serious trouble'...funny how so many of the questions kind of hit home....needs are clearly spelled out there in them..<P>: )<BR>Dawnn

funny, i took it twice, currently a 20, yes we're having serious trouble because of her unwillingness to end the affair. <P>last year at this time i didn't know of her affair that had been going on since late 1998 and guess what, my score was 1. Guess my assessment of our marriage was alot different than hers. afterall, she just wants to be "happy!"

I got a 40. My marriage has already failed. I'm visiting this board regularly to try and decide whether to end it or mend it.

Interesting test. I got a 13. But if I took it last year, I'm sure my score would be worse. Despite everything, recovery has been good.<P>Update: I tested my H. He was the betrayer but we are over a year in recovery. His score was 2.<p>[This message has been edited by NoTrust (edited May 07, 2000).]

18 months ago I was at 43 <P>Today, I scored a 17 <P>SHA

Mine's a 24. I wonder what it would be if my H answered the questions....

Mine's a 16 (we are in recovery, and doing well, overall).<P>Some of the items jumped out at me...things I know my H would've ID'd with prior to all this...I can see that the number would've been very different months ago.

I scored a 40. Sadly, I wonder what H would score. I know he's desperately unhappy.

Funny I am not with my h right now and I did this test based on my feeling right before I found out about affair and my score was a 12. <P>Its amazing how low my score was and how stinky my life is right now.

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited July 16, 2000).]

I took the test based on the way it was right before my H's affair started - after he had been depressed for over a year - and got a 19. <P>This is why I don't think the Harley principles mean much in many cases. It doesn't really make any difference how good or bad your marriage is - at least in the case of depression/MLC, nothing can stop the spouse from having an affair.

We had a very nice evening out last night. H is really beginning to kick in a little bit of effort and concern. Scored a 29. Two or three weeks ago it would have been a 36. Still think my marriage sucks.

Wow, this is pathetic... thougth it would be better than this.<P>I was a 24 husband a 22. <P>I guess that is pretty even. which means we must be thinking alike. <P>Mercy

19, but in recovery. Definitely improving.<P>BTW today is my husband's birthday.

Thought I would pull this up again for those who had not seen or taken.<BR>Might be an interesting conversation starter at home.<BR>It really is worth the time to take.

Thanks Nomas<BR>I missed this first time around.<BR>I scored 6.<BR>A year ago and the 5 years before that I would have scored around 56. <BR>

Nomas and everyone else,<P>Thanks,but it pretty well,confirmed what I already knew!<P>Scored a 35 yikes!!<P>Take it easy! <P>Gina<P>

to was stubborn and sir hurts alot<BR>I scored a 41--how were you able to drop your score. Were you able to do it on your own or were your spouses willing to change your relationship as well?

Mine was 33 - H was 40... not sure what to think about that...