1. What does the Emotional Need of Admiration mean to you? <P>2. What does/could your H do to fill your Love Bank in this area?<BR><P>------------------<BR>But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.<BR>Galatians 5:22-23

I like to be looked at when Im in a conversation, not having H look at everyone but me even when he's talking. I like being told I am attractive (I am/he doesnt). I like his eyes to light up when he sees me (they dont). I like to be touched, ie/he takes my hand, puts his arm around me, is proud to be with me (he's not and doesnt). My husband is only meeting my need of financial security and if I were working full time (I work 23hrs weekly) then he would be meeting none of my needs. (Im hurting right now...does it show?)<BR>Sorry,<BR>Kris

SISL,<P>Thanks for responding. Yes, your hurt does show. I'm so sorry to hear that your needs are not being met. I know exactly how that feels and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.<P>------------------<BR>But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.<BR>Galatians 5:22-23

What admiration means to me is for my H to be attentive to me. To know that I want him to hold my hand and be affectionate. I want him to admire that I've kept myself together throughout this whole mess he's caused. Together meaning my full time job, our new house, our relationship, his alcoholism...<P>Admiration to me is knowing in my heart that my H loves me.<P>Since dday we've been in recovery. Everything stopped that day. Seems like the whole world. 15 weeks ago today actually. He quit the OW (he was trying to do that before, and that's how I found out), he quit drinking (which makes him now a recovering alcoholic), he quit all his social activities, volleyball (which was his life)...for me. He did it all for me. He won't go anywhere without me now, unless we agree it's okay. <P>And, the biggest thing, I know in my heart that he loves me. He always did (he never said that he lost his love for me during the A), and now he's learning how to show that love. <P>To me, I have the utmost of admiration for my H. My family and his family does now too for what he's proven to all of us. He can be a man, and own up to his mistakes.<P>My need for admiration is finally being met (although I could use a couple more thank you's here and there! ).<P>Thanks for posting. You made me feel good about myself! -- purplemag<P>

2s4w,<BR>Thanks for your kind words and gentle spirit. Galatians is definitely the fruit I need. I think that I am being taken through Matthew5. It's ironic that my home email address is Mat544 (love those who persecute you) I had no idea when I chose that 3 years ago how well it would apply today.<P>Purplemag...I can only hope one day my H will "grow" up and take some responsibility for the hurt he inflicted. We are going out tonight and I need to work hard not to LB.<BR>Kris

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Purplemag...I can only hope one day my H will "grow" up and take some responsibility for the hurt he inflicted. We are going out tonight and I need to work hard not to LB.<BR>Kris[/B]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Sad in St. Louis:<P>I hope so too. I've been following your story, I mostly lurk here now, and oh my heart goes out to you. My heart goes out to so many here. So many in pain, I just wish I could pass my good fortune on to everyone here and end this suffering for everyone. <P>I hope all goes well tonight. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I've found that talking with my H through some of the most difficult issues, that if I didn't LB, I felt better for it, and there was so much more accomplished out of the discussion. It's so hard to do, but I feel so much better about it. <P>It's really helped me learn to curtail my anger, and I've found that it's released a bit of stress in my life, not just with H, but with other people as well. I'm more optimistic about things.<P>Stay on this web site and vent, vent, vent! It's the one thing that saved me. The support group here is outstanding. They tell it like it is, and it really opens up the heart, mind, and soul. This place has even helped me find God.<P>Hang in there Sad..., you'll get through this.<P>--purplemag<P>