Haven't posted much lately, although I have been lurking and trying to stay on top of everyone's progress. Here's where I am, at the moment:<P>My H will be moving back next weekend after nearly a six month separation. I still don't know for sure where his relationship with OW stands. He never brings her up, which REALLY bothers me. The only way I've been able to get info out of him is to pry it out. The most he's said on the subject is a few months back he told her he wanted to distance himself. He calls me every day, but always at work and I am never in a position to discuss anything of a serious nature (I work in a fishbowl). <P>Plus this affair has taken a great toll on his health & for the last couple of months, I've put our relationship on the backburner and stood behind him as he went through a battery of neurological tests. He's been complaining of blurred vision, dizziness, memory problems, & stumbling. So far, all tests have come back negative. I'm really beginning to believe that he suffers from some type of psychological problem, such as bipolar disorder. Lately, he's been telling me that he's very depressed, has had bouts of paranoia, and has been crying for no reason. He said one night after he got off work he thought someone was following him so he drove 300 miles. Last Thursday he told me he was banging his head against a piece of furniture and crying. Then, he abruptly ended our phone conversation, very oddly. Next day he told me he was upset because he thought I had him on a speakerphone!<P>I just don't know what to think. Are these symptoms he's having the result of withdrawal?? From what others have written, it doesn't sound like it. Or is this his mind's way of dealing with the guilt? Or is the affair just another symptom of a deeper psychological problem???<P>So, this is my last weekend of being a bachelorette. Hopefully, for good, but time will tell for sure.

It sounds like he needs to be evaluated by a professional...<P>Depression is serious in and of itself...<BR>...but the physical problems cannot be ignored.<P>Can you get him to see an MD?<P>Being a bachelorette... may be nice.<BR>...but being there for him...<BR>...especially when he get better will be nicer!<P>Remind me of this when/if my W gets out of her fog... OK? <P>Good luck on your Plan A!<P> <P>Jim

Hi Jim!<P>Yes, as soon as he seemed to be coming around by telling me he was interested in reconciling, I got him into our PCP for a complete medical checkup. Lots of bloodwork was done, & nothing out of the ordinary showed up. Then, when he began complaining of neurological problems, the doctor ordered a catscan & MRI. Something suspicious showed up, & he was referred to a neurologist who determined from another test that it was from an older injury. He had an EEG done last Tuesday, & still needs one more bloodwork test done to rule out all possible physiological problems.<P>The next step is for him to see a rehab/psychiatrist doctor. I really think the PCP has always felt that his problems are psychological based all along but had to rule out all this other stuff first. This PCP doesn't have a high regard for anti-dep medication (or psychiatrists), although he did write a perscription for H early on. H didn't like the side effects (said it was causing visual disturbances), so he stopped taking it.<P>This has been a long and arduous journey. Sometimes I wonder where my strength to continue will come from.<P>When your W emerges from the fog, I will definitely remind you of this!!!! Thanks.

I too have problems with the care from my PCP...<P>You've got to be persistent...<BR>...anti-dep medication and/or psychiatrists... are sometimes needed!!!<P>Thanks for your desire to help me too!<P> <P>Jim