After a year of trying to understand the reason for his infidelity, I think the circumstances that have evolved within the last few days have given me the answer.<P>I had convinced myself that it was a mistake on his part and that he was actually sorry and wanted a good marriage because he loved me, yea right. My daughter with 3 babies is in desperate need of financial help which we are in the postion of helping with those needs. My dearly beloved has informed me that we will not give her financial aid and that he does not want to have any problems in his life.<P>He wants to be able to come and go as he pleases, have dinner on the table, have his clothes and house cleaned and sex when he wants it, not making love mind you, just sex, for our intimate encounters for quite sometime have been purely such.<P>Now this all comes about with this problem with my daughter (from a previous marriage, yet one he raised) and after one thing leads to another in our conversations, he tells me when I ask if he came back to me a year ago after his affair because of the money he says, "well , I wasn't going to let you take everything I had and that you should have taken my offer when I made it, instead of being greedy and going to a lawyer." He also said that he didn't want to see me kill myself and that would happen if he left me.<P>So now I understand that all his affair was about, was a way to get out of our marriage period. It wasn't the love of another woman, it was an exit affair. He knew that with me believing that it was just another woman would be the only way that I would be hurt enough to let me go and he thought that I would take whatever he offered financially and be on my merry way. Love has nothing to do with it.<P>Now back to square one.....I love him, or I love what we had once upon a time, so how do you let go? I shutter at the mere thoughts of losing him knowing good and well that his feelings for me are not mutual, my stars, I have loved him for 28 years.<BR>
