Girfriend Wrote: Catnip,<BR>"give the child up for adoption to a two parent home" What makes you think TWO parent homes are holy grails? Just in the posts here LOTS of children are suffering plenty in supposedly supieror two parent homes. You are so SMUG and self-rightous!!!<BR>What a wonder of the universe it is that your H went to some other women for for comfort!!!<P>Now, I think that is really hitting below the belt. To blame the wife for her husband going to another woman? I acknowledge that both H and W create an atmosphere where infidelity looks like an attractive option, but the choice to go there is an individual one. Many of us choose other healthy options.<P>This post was in response to situations where the OW has a child. Surely you don't think that a woman who is immoral enough to sleep around with a MM and have his child despite the fact that he has another family and that child may not ever have a real father and certainly would have to deal with a half-family is a suitable parent? I don't think these preganacies happen by ACCIDENT. No, not all two parent situations are superior to single parent homes, but I would like to believe that adoption placement services screen their candidates well and weed out the ones with serious problems. The selfishness the OW showed with her past deeds is enough to convince me that she does NOT have her child's best interest at heart.

My sentiments exactly. Thank you Popeye.<P>Between Girlfriend and Imafool, we've hit some kind of nerve somewhere. But, these are just their opinions and they are entitled to them. Their anger and combativeness confuses me as well as their inability to understand what we are trying to say.<P>Popeye, I fight the tenderness I feel for the OC. I feel that this child should be mine - that I am the only one entitled to be the Mom to my husband's child. But, the situation is as it is. <BR>Someday the OC will contact my husband and I haven't a clue what will take place. Perhaps something similar to what happened to me when I met my bio son in 1990 when he turned 19. By then perhaps both my husband and I will be able and ready to handle it. Maybe before.<P>It's so strange. When I first got the news the OW was pregnant and first came to the forum, I was so angry and bitter (sometimes still am) I wouldn't hear of any kind of anything for or with the OC. I had uncharitable thoughts and felt a vindictiveness that is uncharacteristic for me.<P>Our hearts soften and change when the pain subsides a little, then when the pain rears it's ugly head again, we shut down again for a time. I imagine it's a process that continues for years in situations such as ours.<P>Prayers<P>Catnip =^^= <P>

Popeye: Check out my thread. Girlfriend is pretty upset. What's your take on her reactions?<P>Catnip =^^=

Catnip...You mentioned that OW came to this forum when she was pregnant? Well, from the irrational way that "girlfriend" is reacting, I think that she may be the OW in your case...

Catnip,<P>I agree this could be your OW. I know that I got a little upset, but she has been mean spirited towards you. It will be interesting to see how much she writes back.

I think "girlfriend" is just that, someone's H's girlfriend.<P>Anyway, why do people seem to consider only what is best for the OW's child and not the existing children?