removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

Sounds like he is definitely playing games. Sounds like you also need some space to sort your head out. I don't know how you can have any peace in that household.<P>If you feel he is cheating, he probably is. We seem to know these things internally even when there is no proof.<P>What do you do? I don't know, but I think you need to get out of that house.

Sounds like you have a horrible situation to deal with that won't get better anytime soon. My opinion is that he is probably having an affair for some of the reasons you have stated: lack of sex, staying at work late, lots of conflict at home, treating you as a non-person.<BR>I have lived in latin American cultures where it is the norm for several families to live together under one roof. If you come from a cultlure different than that than it would be very difficult to adjust to. I think that perhaps he needs to cut the apron strings from mom and you two need to move far enough away so that his family can't interfere, especially if he seems to take sides with his mom. You need to live on your own together and handle your problems without his family's "help". If he refuses to leave his parents house, you may have to leave instead. Can you live on your own? Can you move in with your parents or a sibling if he is not willing to move out and establish an independent home?<BR>That's the best advice I can offer. Good luck. Keep posting. You will get a lot of good support and advice here.<BR>Blessings<P>Pilgrim

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

Yuki Miaki:<P>This does not sound like a good situation at all and you sound very unhappy.<P>You seem to have a plan in place to leave your in-laws' house--would your husband be willing to joing you?<P>If I were you I'd look to be the strongest person I could be. Avoid yelling back. Smile. (That drives people nuts when they want to make you mad!)<P>Remember that part of Plan A is to provide an attractive alternative to any OW. <P>Good luck. I hope that you find what it is you are looking for. --HBC

The heck with taking H with you.... I say... leave and let him stay there...<BR>And most of all... get your son out of there...<BR>What an awful situation you are in... No one deserves to live in that type of conditions...<BR>Good luck to you...

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

Yuki,<BR>Gosh...I am so confused....how can you live like that?<P>I am concerned for you and your son. I am just wondering if he has ever lifted his hand at you? He seems on the verge of being abusive....that scares me. Controlling people continue to become more and more abusive.<P>This is only my two cents...but I think you seriously need to consider leaving......with or without your H. You need to break free before you become a victim in all of this mess.<P>Good luck and keep us posted<P>Nancy

Yuki,<BR>Don't be too upset about the slow posts.There's not as many responses ever since they broke this forum up into different subjects.<BR> Bottom Line:you married a mama's boy.One with a very controlling mother who needs to be in charge of everything.That's not a marriage,but a prison sentence.I doubt if things will change as long as"Mom"is around.<BR> In my case,my MIL was somewhat controlling.After we were married,I had to put her in her place(not involved in OUR marriage).Thank God she never lived with us.But I can sympathize with you,because there's nothing worse than a meddling MIL.If her and her son are ganging up on you,what kind of a relationship is that?<BR> If you suspect an affair,there could be one going on.There are some posts here(somewhere)about all the signs to look for.Lack of sex is a biggie.<BR> What can you do?If you suspect she's nosing around your room,piano wire and rat traps come to mind.Lying to you-hidden tape recorders might help.Or you can just get out of that whole mess.You're still very young,you don't need this.You deserve better.If you stay in that situation,you're going to lose all self-esteem,and self-respect.You and your son don't deserve that.<BR> Can you go live with a friend for a while?Get away from it all to get a new perspective?I'd hate to see you go to prison for killing a meddling mother-in-law(MMIL),although in my state,I think it's still legal!.<BR> Keep posting,and save your sanity.--Murph

removed<p>[This message has been edited by yuki miaka (edited June 05, 2000).]

all "offensive" posts removed