I have only posted once before but I need help from anyone who can tell me how to turn this thing around. My husband told me this past February that he didn't love me anymore, he cared about me and always would, but didn't have feelings anymore. Since that time, I moved out once, came home, he moved his stuff downstairs but still sleeps with me. He bought a laptop and changed all of his passwords etc so I couldn't "snoop". He has a separate saving/checking acct, p.o. box and uses his cell phone # as his contact number. Our house will go on the market this week. I put money down on a mobile home so I will have a place to live when the house is gone. He is not planning on living there with me. He is gone this weekend with the motorhome, should be back to day and hasn't called me once since he left on Thursday, he used to call me everyday, sometimes twice whenever he was gone just to tell me he missed me and loved me. He is going to sell the motorhome, our finances are a mess. Yet he has already purchased and made reservations to go to Vegas in August. I love him so much, I'll do anything to get US back. I realize now I did a lot of lovebusting, most of it in fun and I wish I could take it all back because even in fun, it must of hurt his feelings and he didn't say anything to me. He tells his family I am a good person, he cares about me and if anyone ever said anything bad about me he would be very angry. I want to believe that he is going through Midlife Crisis and will get over it and come back to me. Yes, I can go on without him, but I love him as much as I did the day we married. We have been together for 13 years this year and I thought most of them were happy. So what can I do? I've tried leaving him cards, sending him e-mail notes, writing him letters, showing him I love him, telling him I love him and telling him if he comes back to me I won't ever bring this up again and we can start fresh, but we'll need counselling. Need some input and opinions, maybe some affirmation of my gut feeling that it is not too late for us. ANYONE? <BR>SWEETS

Sweets:<P>I don't know if you can work things out, but I do know that there is nothing preventing you from trying.<P>I would try a Plan A approach. Make sure that you try to recreate the loving place to come home to that you all had before. Watch out for those lovebusters! <P>Did he find out your finances were in a mess about the time that he started acting this way? That could have something to do with his actions.<P>Good luck to you! --HBC <P>

Are you both working?<P>Maybe you can ask him what you both can do as a team to overcome the financial problems? I don't know, but it seems like two can live cheaper together than each person apart.<P>He definitely has the behavior signs of having an affair. Have you been suspecting an affair? You can keep on plan A'ing - no lovebusters - but be careful you don't make him feel like he is forced into a corner in making a choice to work on the marriage. Instead, "market" your marriage to be more desirable than where ever or whatever he is running to.<P>It is better if you don't separate, try and see what you can do to help the situation in that way - so that you are not apart. But if that doesn't work, you can still plan A from a distance.<P>