In a general sense (not looking for legal opinions) -- what has to be proven/done to get a restraining order against another party in a marriage that is dissolving due to infidelity?<P>Do you have to prove something dangerous about the person?<P>Paul

By the way - the other party I am referring to is the person my wife is having an affair with.<P>

PM987<BR>I am interested in this too!

Paul,<P>I'm up to bat for this question...<BR>Since I currently do have 2 restraining orders...<P>btw... My W's OM's name is Paul... I won't hold it against you... <P>My situation may be different...<BR>My state(NJ) laws may be different...<BR>My assignment of type of judge may be different...<P>But here is MY story...<BR>My W found a guy on an Internet Chat room around this time last year....<P>Meets him physically Jan 4th... to physical contact...<P>Eventually leads to physical contact around Feb/Mar... <P>W asks for a separartion on Easter Sunday!!!<BR>Discovery 2 days later!!!<P>She files for divorce 3 weeks later...<P>Then on 3 separate instances... my W starts to introduce (force down their throats...) the OM to my children... <BR>1. Daughter had a dance demonstrtion... I had to be with my son atthe same moment in time... so I couldn't stop it... Then OM played daddy for the day!<BR>2. Daughter has a year end dance recital... OM showd up... wanted to take my kids(all 3) for an ice cream... Did I ever LB! Cried... and cried... (so did my mom who was there)... Was almost arrested that day!<BR>3. I was on a business trip... yuck...<P>see my(NSR's) reply to RWD's post (<A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/010351.html" TARGET=_blank>Almost got arrested tonite!</A>)<P>After I counter-filed in late June(to start a custody-battle)... because a "docket #" was assigned to our divorce case... I was able to apply for a motion for the restraining orders(ROs)! Without the "docket #", I could not file a RO... according to my attorney!<P>The OM did not abuse the children... but I was damned if I was going to let him come in and start playing step-daddy... He was a complete stranger to me! An immoral... homewrecking stranger!<P>Quite a few things worth noting in my case...<BR>1. I got assigned an incredibly "moral" judge.<BR>2. I had a good (and very well spoken/written ) attorney.<BR>3. W's attorny was not anywhere near as literate (verbal or written skills) as mine!<BR>4. W was not taking advice to curtail contact with OM during divorce.<BR>5. W was stuffing down OM as "new man" in the kids life (her words... "new man")<BR>6. W schedule a vacation w/ OM... his kids... and my kids... in adjoining Motel rooms... without my consent!<BR>7. My W was seeing OM 3-4 days/week (ignoring the kids.)<BR>8. My W was trying to ask the judge to move out of state to be with OM and take the kids with her.<BR>9. OM was still married to his 2nd W.<BR>10. OM has a teenage son (arrested for burglary, arson, and in drug rehab.)<P>All of these were considerations in the judge given me 3 restraining orders!<BR>1. OM can't enter my house anymore<BR>2. OM can't have overnights with my kids<BR>3. Judge cancelled W's vacation (i.e. gave W choice... go w/ kids or OM but not both!)... she chose to go with OM!<P>btw... I never even asked for RO #3... the judge (a woman) just gave it to me as a freebie! <P>These circumstances may be unusual...<BR>They all happened to work out in my case...<BR>No, the OM is not a serial killer to my knowledge... except for killing families... his own... and now mine! <P>If you want more info... e-mail me...<BR>imherczeg@yahoo.com<P>Jim

In the state of Indiana, one came along with my filing for divorce. I guess it was kind of automatic? I wished I lived in Jims state. My H desserted his family for almost 2 weeks. Never called or saw the children for over a month and even now only attempts one call a week and when he does talk to them is very verbally abusive, but the judge around here is very pro man. in fact all 4 are. But I believe for 35.00 in my state you can file a restraining order on anyone.

Thanks for the info.<P>My story is going to top most people's on the board here.<P>W and I just had twins. She's been involved with another female for the last 6 months (yup - all during pregnancy).<P>OW is possessive and discourages W to visit with infants.<P>Believe I will have excellent grounds for a restraining order keeping this OW away from newborns and house.<P>Especially given OW is still married, lying to husband and attempting infertility treatments.<P>See - I told you I could beat most stories here... <g><P>So don't despair. There is always someone with a worse situation. At this point it seems that there is little left to do but argue for custody. Wife is as useless/senseless as if she were a heroin or crack addict.<P>Paul