My husband left home 3 weeks ago saying he does not love me anymore. I was devastated for a week (i´m still) but i decided to de strong and face it in a more proper way. There is not OW. He just picked up all fights we had for the last six years and told me it´s the only thing he has on his mind. He never ever said a word, apparently our marriage was perfect. Then, from one day to another he says that everything (all fights) came to his mind and he does not love me anymore. He kept all angry for six years inside him. My therapist said he is totally depressed, I do not hate him, I´m not angry. I´m sad, really sad and crying a lot at night and weekends when i´m not working.I love him a lot and we´ve been talking almost everyday. Yesterday he told me he didn´t feel like coming back home either going to the hotel, he is too much alone. I´m afraid to be too pushy and ruin our marriage, if I can call it a marriage. What should I do ? My therapist is very worry about him and me too. But how abou me ? I´m miserable and blaiming myself for not realize it before.

Oh Claudia,<P>I'm so sorry. I hate this reply, but only time will tell what will happen. In the meantime Claudia we have to work on being stronger women.<P>How old is your H? Could this be a MLC? I have read a lot about MLC and know, without a doubt that my H is having one, a big one!<P>Read "Men in Mid Life" by Jim Conway. It may answer some questions for you.<P>My H left last week, upon my insistence as I found out about his long term affair. He has been here almost every day since he left. He is getting an apartment next week, so we're looking at at least 6 mos of seperation while we get it all sorted out. I know I need this time to heal myself.<P>This is just the worst thing Claudia, these men that sit on the fence. It feels so powerless to have no control over our futures. I'm very glad to hear your H has no OW. This is a huge advantage. I've also been reading "His Needs Her Needs". I want to change into the irresistable wife he talks about in that book, but have work to do to be that person.<P>He missed you, I know that much. My H would not have been here so much, for hours a day just to talk if he didn't miss me. He misses our life, but we need a break.<P>I hope our stories have happy endings, let's keep posting. It helps to talk.<BR>

Dear,<P>i´m sorry to hear this. It´s all so sad. I do not hate him or incriminate him for it. I understand that he has a problem (by the way, he´s 46) and I will do everything to make him happy. I know it´s hard to listen wahtI´m going to say but I think you also have to be your H friend and try to support him. hances that this affairs will last is almost 0. Life always shows it. If you are too pushy on him when he breaks up with OW you will not have a chance. If you really love him try to help him out. I do love my husband, even if he leaves me for good i will handle it.<BR>Lov

hi again Claudia,<P>Hope this finds you in a happier place than you were in earlier.<P>My H is 48 and began this craziness about two years ago. Seems like the perfect MLC age. Read about it...it helps explain their fears at this time of life. Kinda like having a mixed up confused teenager in the house (except I have three of those already!)<P>I really have been very kind to my H. The leaving just had to be done. We have made progress in the week he's been gone. We've talked for hours. This would not have happened if I had to deal with him living here. The affair is supposedly over, and has been for mos, though he saw her less than a month ago. I get to decide whether I believe that one or not.<P>I am trying to help him, but in the end he has to figure out through this MLC haze what the heck he wants from life.<P>And if he wants me...and that means 100% I'll be here. But if not, I will be able to say I've grown and I can make it either way.<P>I almost sound like I believe it, huh? LOL