I know my last posts have been very emotional. I have had a lot to deal with in the last week and 1/2. I want so much to have Arik say "I am ready to re-commit to our marriage and do what it takes to make our marriage work." I don't know if this is ever going to happen but have decided to TRY(I know I said that TRY is a cop out) to take each day as it comes and appreciate the momments in them. I know some days are going to be hard, having Arik here in our home with no real commitment to me or our marriage is a difficult thing. I AM afraid of getting hurt. He still doesn't see why a friendship with the OW could pose a threat to me(he says the threat is perceived and not real). I was ready to take my rings off yesterday because there is no commitent on his part but remembered MY commitment to him and decided to keep wearing them. Anyway, I will continue to love Arik and be commited to our marriage for as long as it takes for him to come to terms with what it is he can or can't do or will or won't do.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<P><p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited December 05, 1999).]

PL<P>Good for you!! Expect the ups and downs. But hang on to your resolve.<P>You're doing a great job.<P>Lori

Nicole, I know that life is really difficult for you right now and I admire your strenth and resolution. I would try hard to continue in your beliefs. I believe God is behind you and will guide you, give all troubles, problems and pain over to him and he will guide you through all things.<BR>I am glad you sound so together, so rational, your an inspiration to all.<BR>God Bless!<P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>

PL -- Hang in there. You have a lot to fight for. <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>He still doesn't see why a friendship with the OW could pose a threat to me<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>I can tell Arik how this could pose a threat to you. I have lived and am living this now. I've read his posts and he is really confused right now. How about some joint counseling? In fact, Arik could use individual therapy to try to get his feelings straightened out. That's where he's at now. You continue to give your full commitment and show him what he could lose.<P>As Lori said, keep it going. It's a roller coaster ride, but you can't get off until the ride ends. They don't let you get off when the car is at the bottom, only when the ride is done.

Thanks for the support everyone.<P>Lori: I can always count on you to give me a pat on the back and lift my spirits. As I've said before you are truly uplifting!<P>Chick's: If I was only relying on my strength I know I wouldn't survive. It is by God's grace that I am still here.<P>Heartpain: Arik and I had been to counseling jointly as well as individualy. We haven't gone a whole lot because he has been working on the road so much. I do agree that he probably should go more often by himself and address some of the underlying issues in him.<P>Yes it is a rollercoaster ride and some days I let my emotions get the better of me. I hope that in the future I will be able to keep them under control for the most part.

Nicole,<P>This helps me stay in today.<P>The Serenity Prayer<BR>(full text)<P>GOD, grant me the serenity <P>to accept the things<BR>I cannot change, <BR>Courage to change the<P>things I can, and the<BR>wisdom to know the difference.<BR>Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;<P>Enjoying one moment at a time;<BR>Accepting hardship as the<BR>pathway to peace.<BR>Taking, as He did, this<P>sinful world as it is,<BR>not as I would have it.<BR>Trusting that He will make<P>all things right if I<BR>surrender to His Will;<BR>That I may be reasonably happy<P>in this life, and supremely<BR>happy with Him forever in<BR>the next. Amen<BR>Reinhold Neibuhr-1926 <P>Know that God is in control.<P>Best wishes, Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

WilliamJ: Thanks for the prayer. I have heard the serenity prayer before but only the first part. The rest was new to me. I will keep it in my mind and heart in the days to come.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole<P><BR>

Nicole,<P>There are many more insperationals on this forum. I keep them all close.<P>Glad I could help a little.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>